To Party Or Not To Party Ot

15 Replies
LollyM - February 23

As some of you know, I really need to get out and away for a little while! So, one of my single friends invited me to her brother's house party tonight. I would leave after dd is asleep and dh would stay here with her. The problem is, I feel guilty leaving my fam especially because dh has to work at 8 tomorrow morning. I mean, in reality, what would probably happen is that dd would just sleep the whole time I was gone and dh would sleep too... I still feel guilt ridden though! What should I do??? It would be nice to get out, but I'm afraid that dh will be disappointed since we don't get to see eachother very much any more =/


Deirdra - February 23

Go hunni! go go go! go have a good deserve it...i know i wish my Dh would do that for me...its like the other way around! i stay he goes out...i still havent had time to myself to go out with friends but dh gets it all the time! i got to go out with dh and another couple for dinner last night which was amazing! no baby! but i still havent been able to get away from!~!!


lexa - February 23

If he is willing to stay and watch dd, go! We all need a little break from time to time. You feel guilty now, but I bet you feel so much better later after you got a little time to yourself. Even if you just stay for a little while.


Topaz - February 24

I would definitely go! I wish I had the chance to go out. Dd isn't even sleeping through the night yet and I doubt dh would even watch her if I wanted to go out. Just go and let yourself unwind a little.


cae - February 24

Hopefully you are out right now. You dd should be in good hands with you DH. Enjoy, its normal to feel guilty today, tomorrow and next week, its a motherly instinct. Enjoy yourself and have fun!


Ca__sie06 - February 24

You better be out partying!! :) Me and DH both takes turns going out. The way I see it, he had just as much to do with the conception as I did so he better be keeping him half the time so I can go out! Every once in a while we get either mine or his parents to keep him so we can go out together. It works wonders for you just to get away for a little while and just be yourself!


LollyM - February 24

Well, here I am and I've been home all night =( I wanted to go, but dh was making me feel bad so I stayed. I wish I had gone out though because I just feel like c___p at this point! I was crying to dh about how depressed I feel right now and he fell asleep on the couch while I was talking to him!!! I just have no one to talk to! not even my own husband will listen to me! Damn it, I should have gone out! He guilted me into staying and now I just feel worse, Ugh! I won't be making this mistake again!!!


Erin1979 - February 24

Don't let him guilt you!!!! I made this mistake as well. Now dd is 18 months and I do everything....yet DH gets to do whatever he wants. I would make him take turns with you. It will make him appreciate what you do more...believe me.


Ca__sie06 - February 24

Knock some sense into him!! lol. Ok, not really "knock" per se, but he needs to taking just as much responsibility as you do. If you have dd all day, he should take care of her that evening so you can have some time for yourself, and vice versa. Or make him take you and dd out to eat or something if it is a matter of wanting the family to be together. You deserve to go out and have fun! Dont let him guilt you into anything because that will just lead to resentment.


LollyM - February 24

Hey again. I'm feeling a bit better today, but I still wish I had gone out though! I think hubby was just upset because he works so much that he doesn't have time to do anything like that. (although he did go to the shooting range with his friend a month ago...) Anyway, I am going to call my friend and find out when the next party is and go! (they party allot lol.) I don't think just going out with dh and dd will do the trick because I will still be in the "mom mode" I just need to get away from everything for a few hours! A date with hubby would be nice too though =) I think you ladies are right, taking turns will be nice.


punkin01 - February 24

why do you want to go out and party with others w/o your husband??? you did marry him to be with him for always, right?? maybe if you had got a babysitter and took hubby to you both had a good time together.....isnt that what a marriage is about .....being together in life??? not trying to start a fight just asking?? i know in my marriage i dont want to do those type w/o my husband .......


LollyM - February 24

punkin, that's just it, we usually do, do everything together and we like it that way. We just didn't have a sitter and it was short notice (plus dh had to work in the morning so he couldn't have gone anyway). I really needed to get out of the house at that point. I didn't end up going though. It was my best friend who invited me and wanted to hang out with just me for a little bit so that's why I wanted to go. I don't care about partying. I just wanted to hang out with my best friend out of the house. Dh said the same thing though, he said "why can't you two just do something else. Why do you have to go to a party? what are you going to do there?" It's true that I would rather do something other than party, but sometimes I just want to do ANYTHING you know what I mean? Plus, I would feel bad if someone tried to hit on me or something like that... I know I would have deff. gone if she just wanted me to come over or something. It was the party part that was the issue. My friend doesn't have kids and she's not married, so she doesn't really understand what it's like. Don't worry, I'm not offended at all =)


punkin01 - February 25

ok i hoped you wouldn't be offended ....but i know my hubby is invited all the time to go do this or that with his friend and he feels bad to say no but its just not things he cares to do anymore like going to strip clubs and going to bars to play pool.....his friend is married but he and his wife work different shifts and she dont know he goes to t_tty bars and such and they dont have kids she had hystrectomy (sp) at a young he dont understand either that my hubby is married and a father that WANTS to stay home and be with his family not at strip club drinking up money his family when hubby says no he makes fun of him saying i wont allow him to go or that he is P____whipped and c___p like that......good luck to you ......


ry - February 25

LollyM, I know how you feel. I often want to go out with my girlfriends but am usually too tired or feeling too guilty when it comes time to go. Its hard too because my dh and I never see each other, we work opposite shifts. Although if something comes up for him, he always goes-no hesitation! I think it is very important to get out and have some fun sometimes with or without my husband. I dont know about you all but i didnt marry him to spend EVERY waking second with him!


Ca__sie06 - February 25

Amen ry!! I did NOT marry my husband to spend every second with him. If I did we would probably end up killing each other. Lolly, you can get hit on at the grocery store! Dont let that stop you from going to a party. Its how you deal with getting hit on that matters, just because you are married doesnt mean all the guys around you suddenly go blind. They will still look, you just dont reciprocate! I go out with my friends at least once every 2 weeks or so, sometimes with the baby, sometimes just by myself. There is nothing wrong with it and it makes you a better mom when you take time for yourself! Please go out and have some fun! It will work wonders for you I promise!


orchidmom - February 26

Ya, I do understand your feeling.....but if he does not have any problem then there is nothing to feel guilty about.......Good Luck



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