Update On Quot Scared And Anxious Quot Thread

7 Replies
EricaG - February 8

Well, I had my ultrasound today and the results weren't good. I have several stones stuck in my bile duct. This means another ERCP which the doctor states he "hopes" is successful. This time I have to be off my blood thinners for 5 days prior to the procedure because there "will be some cutting". I'm just so scared and sad and angry and discouraged and all of those not good feelings. After I heard the news I just bawled my eyes out for a half hour. So my worst nightmare has come true (besides losing someone I love of course) and I have no idea what to do or think. I just feel like I can't do this anymore.


Lisastar9 - February 8

Yikes I am sad for you too. I wish I could be there to support you in person,will the internet do. I am so sorry you have to go though with the op again. I can't imagine going though once again. Be strong for you dd/ds I am sorry I forgot what you have. I am sure thinking of your lo may help. HUGS and prayers are on it's way.


luviduvi - February 8

EricaG.....I never read the first thread, who pa__sed away? I am so sorry to hear of your loss and your medical issues. I will keep you in my thoughts......


EricaG - February 8

LisaStar, thank you so much for your kind words. Right now I'm going between being fine one minute and then bursting into tears the next... my poor husband doesn't know what to think, lol. I can sure use a hug and any prayers that you can spare. luviduvi, nobody pa__sed away, when I mentioned losing someone I love I meant that next to losing someone I love this was my worst nightmare, to have to go back in for this procedure. It occurred to me when writing that post, I was going to put " my worst nightmare has come true" but then I realized that my worst nightmare is actually losing my baby or husband so I included that in there. I'm sorry if it didn't make any sense, I was upset when I was writing it. :o) Well, to give you a quick summary of my first thread I have had a procedure done twice before called and ERCP in which they put you under conscious sedation, put a black hose down your throat, through your stomach and then, in this case, they will be removing stones from my bile duct. Well, most people don't remember the procedure and are compliant during the ordeal. Not me, I don't take well to the sedation so I'm basically awake through it and fighting the tube, gagging, trying to pull it out and the nurses are trying to hold me down etc. So I'm just extremely upset to have to do it again. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, I really appreciate it . :o)


eclipse - February 8

I think you should ask to be under mac anesthesia instead. You are completely out but awake as soon as they turn it off (they use it for surgeries such as yours and endoscopys and colonoscopys) you don't get the medicine hangover, and you are pretty alert once you are fully awake. I had it for my d&c and it was fabulous. Just a thought, talk to your anesthesiologist. They should come to you bedside during the procedure. Better yet, discuss it with your doc beforehand ( I worked in a surgery center before, they will usually do what the patient asks-usually) IT could make the whole ordeal a lot easier on you.


kellens mom - February 8

I always try to focus on the positive. You have been through this twice before...and you survived. Yes it is uncomfortable and you don't want to do it...evidentially it is necessary or they would not make you do it again. You are strong and now you know what to expect. It must be terribly scary and uncomfortable, but you WILL get through it. You have every right to be upset and scared about a proceedure you must have. It must be disappointing that you are trying it for a third time. But don't forget to remind yourself about the quality of life you would have without the surgery. The mind is a very powerful tool that can hurt you OR it can help you move past challenges and pain. Search within yourself to find a different approach then your previous strategy (resistance, apprehension, fear) and you may find that things go better. I am sure you have explored all of your options regarding the need for surgery or different ways the medical staff can make you more comfortable. If by chance, you have not explored all of your options, I would suggest that you get busy. Stay strong!


LollyM - February 9

Hi EricaG. I'm sorry you have to go through this again, I remember how hard it was for you the first time =( I hope you never have to do this again after this! I'll deff. send you prayers. I know exactly what you mean about the partial sedation thing though! I had to have an endoscopy done before and they put me under that partial sedation thing and told me I wouldn't remember it, but I remember the whole thing! it hurt and was so uncomfortable, I fought that tube the whole way down as well! I hope I never have to do that again! Just hang in there girl. I always ask God to give me a hand and take some of it away when I feel overwhelmed. He does, and then I feel better =)


EricaG - February 9

Thanks for your posts ladies :o) You all had different insight and it has helped me alot. Eclipse, thank you for your knowledge of different anesthesia and options. Kellens mom, thank you for your suggestions. I'm a big believer in mind over matter, so much in fact that I used self hypnosis to help me have a labor with no pain meds, I've often thought "Maybe if I wasn't so scared and just realaxed then I wouldn't fight it so much". And LollyM, thank you for being someone who has had a similar experience and can relate a lot ot what I'm going through. I love this forum because it's like one stop shopping for a bunch of different view points! But I have good news. I made the appointment today and it's for the 14th (Valentines Day) and when I told the girl who made my appointment about my last two experiences and begged for a different option, she said "Well, maybe we need to put you out!" I was like "You can do that?!" and she said yes and that she'll talk to the doctor about it and call me back if there's a problem. So My appointment is at 11:30 on the 14th and hopefully I get put all the way out this time. :o)



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