What Shoul I Do

5 Replies
terri - November 6

okay i have a 4yr old son who lives with his dad,he comes to my house every other weekend the problem is he hurts his little 2yr old brother i cant let them be alone together for a minute the time before last at my house he bit his brother on both hands and on his back leaving teeth marks and yesterday he scratched his little brothers face all up with his fingernails.he will smack his brother and pinch him,i spank his butt , make him sit on the couch but nothing i do helps.i tried to explain to him that what he is doing is hurting his brother.they both get plenty of attention.i also have a 8mos old baby but thankfully he never tries hurting her.i had to start locking my kids bedroom door at night when my 4yr old is with us because he will get up real early in the morning and hurt his little brother.i talked to my 4 yr olds dad about what goes on but he didnt say much.im about to the point of not letting my son come back over until things change with him.what do i do?how can i make him stop hurting his little brother?im so stressed over it.my 4yr old wont let his brother play with any toys while hes at our house.he is like a terrior.any advice would be well appreciated,i dont know what to do i love all my kids but i cant let my oldest keep tormenting his brother.please help asap.thanks


Harsh punishment - November 6

This may sound a little harsh but you can always try putting a really really tiny bit of soup in his mouth, you might only have to do it twice in a row consectivately he will get the hint really fast, Four year old are hard to handle at the best of times it was something I had to do with my 4 year old.


Just an idea - November 6

Do you think that maybe he is jealous of his little brother? I don't know the situation, but maybe he feels like he is unwanted because he not living with his mother and siblings. He maybe hurting his brother because he knows that he will get attention from you when he does something.


Shelly - November 6

I would really advice to get him some counseling.That is no normal jealous behaviour;i don't know your family but is there something that could be happening when he is at his dads?Really,my best suggestion is counseling!!!!


Mommy - November 6

This is just a thought, are you chosing favorites? You would choose not to have your 4 year old to your house b/c he hurst his brother, did you think maybe his brother hurts him. I think it is horrible that you are chosing not to let him come to your house.


Jbear - November 7

Are there other kids living at your son's father's house? Maybe one of them is hurting him and that's where he got the idea that it was the normal thing for big kids to do. Or maybe his dad tells him that you're too busy with your "new family" to want him. It's hard to know what goes on when he's not with you. I do know an easy way to fix the scratching...when you pick him up for the weekend, cut his nails right away. Maybe you should ask your pediatrician for advice about the situation, and try to get it under control while they're young, because the older your sons get, the more destructive they will be when they fight. I know from personal experience...I have a sister three years younger than me and we fought like cats and dogs, broken noses, concussions, st_tches...it was really out of hand. And we tore my mom's house up while we were fighting, too. The worst thing about it was that I wasn't supposed to fight back because I was the older (and supposedly bigger) sister.



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