When To Tell Them Quot NO Quot

12 Replies
CassJ - January 12

My son is 6.5 months old and I know he can't understand NO yet but he has 2 teeth and is biting when he is nursing and I keep telling him NO! When will he start to understand that word and when did you start telling them no?


Heather F - January 12

My dd is 9 months and just now understands no and reacts accordingly when she is told it - when she was 6 months and biting I pushed her into my b___st so she had to push away from me to breath and I told her "no biting, ouch" and then I put my b___st away and ended the nursing session. I figured if she was going to bite she was no longer hungry. She only bit 3 times and she was done once I started reacting this way. Good luck with your son, he'll learn soon enough!


aurorabunny - January 12

I've been wondering this myself. My ds is 6 months and keeps shoving his hands into his mouth while eating baby food and then flinging it everywhere. I thought about saying "no" but just figured it was way too early to bother. Any body else?? This is a good question...


sahmof3 - January 12

I don't know what the exact answer is to this and it is probably different for every baby. I know I said "no" when my kids would bite while nursing... it just came out... lol. Then as they got old enough to cruise and get into things I would say "no" and move/distract them... this was around 9-10 months. Eventually it just seemed to morph into an understanding that "no" was a__sociated with abrupt removal from a situation and they firgured out what it meant and figured out to move away on their own. The real fun comes when they test "no" or say it to you all the time LOL ;-)


Kara H. - January 12

They will learn your tone and thus the underlying meaning way before they learn the word. And since the tone is what is really important to getting their attention and stopping the behaviour, we avoid using the word "no" as much as possible. Nothing is worse than a 14 month old screaming NO at you everytime they don't like what just happened. I say things like "OUCH, That hurts mommy" and a very firm "PLEASE DON'T!". I had read a parenting book that suggested this and have since been told by a couple of mothers who have tried this method that their toddlers did not go thru the "NO" phase/


Emmie - January 13

my son is 8.5 months old and definitly knows what no means. He cries if I tell him no. I think he has understood what no means. When my son bite me while nursing-I would pull him off and say no-that hurts mommy(very sternly).


BaileysMummy - January 13

I agree with Kara....I say things like 'don't please darling' or 'that's not very nice'. I do occa__sionally say 'no' and he always understands by the stern tone of my voice that it is wrong. If he does something like hit me, I tell him it's naughty and he'll cry. I then say 'sorry mummy' and he will lie on my lap and give me a cuddle. My ds is 13 months and I am happy with the way we discipline him (although I only started making sure he got the msg since he turned one and became cheeky)


CyndiG - January 13

My dd is 6 months old. I've been saying no for about a month now. She doesn't understand the word, but she understands the tone. That's all you're trying to do is to lay a foundation. Carlie likes to pull my hair, so for example, I would say "no, no, don't pull mommy's hair, it hurts." While I'm untangling my hair from her hand. It won't be long until she understands cause and effect. By then hopefully, I'll have already established my authority. Good luck!


dee23 - January 13

i second kara. those of you saying no instead of words like stop or ouch WILL regret it, i promise u that.


CyndiG - January 13

Just curious dee, how old is your oldest?


sahmof3 - January 13

My neighbor told me that she tried the "only positive wording" thing, too and came to the conclusion that while her kids didn't yell, "no", that they could yell "don't", "stop" or any other word with just as much toddler att_tude lol. She's a die-hard because she actually tried this with her first three (she now has 5 and another on the way) Anyway, I think some who only have infants might not realize "no" is going to come out whether you intend it or not. When they become walkers, runners, etc. and are running straight for something dangerous and you can't catch them there's not time to plan your wording! The more kids the harder IMO.


Kara H. - January 13

Personally I would rather hear "STOP" or "DON'T" anyday out of a toddler's mouth rather than that constant "NO!". Gosh I can feel my jaw muscles starting to clench just thinking about it. I guess that "NO" c___p is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. :)


CyndiG - January 14

I'm with sahm. My oldest is 8, and I do say no. All children are going to spew forth whatever it is you say to them. But, I want my authority established, so when I say No, they stop regardless what they are doing. And the older your children get the more you will understand this. Just as sahm said, when they are running full tilt toward something, it could be a vase in a neighbors house, an animal at the park, or God forbid the road from your yard, when you say No, you want immediate action. You don't have to say it mean, or hateful, just in a consistent tone. And yes, your children will run away from you, no matter how positively you reinforce their actions. I have personally had the experience of mine running as hard as she could toward the road. It's not a good feeling, and I really wouldn't want to put her life in the hands of " Mommy doesn't really think that's a good idea right now." I'm going to stick with a good forceful "NO!!!!"



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