Experienced Moms How Long Did You Need Help After

19 Replies
Olivene - February 1

I am due in August. I am hoping to have a natural birth. Where I live, the mother and baby stay in the hospital for a week, longer if there are complications or a c-section. How long will I need someone's help after that week, when I'm first home. I feel confident about the baby's care as I have a lot of experience with babies. What do you think? WIll I still need help after a week?

 

Olivene - February 1

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AprilMum - February 1

For a week?!?! Wow, where do you live? Here, they are kinda shoo-ing you out the door after 24 hours! I think that if all goes well with your delivery, you should be just fine without help. Most people help, not because you are incapable, but just because they think they are doing you a favor, and giving you a break. I'm the type that is more annoyed by help - I prefer to do things myself, and I know I would never get the rest they were trying to give me, knowing I have people in my house! Now if you do end up having a c-section, you might need some help - but even then, I think you would probably do ok. You might enlist someone to drive you if you have errands, or help with any heavy lifting (after a cesarean you really shouldn't lift anything heavier than your baby). Anyways, if you feel confident about dealing with the stress of a baby - (some people who haven't been around many babies, genuinly don't know how frustrating those first few weeks can be!) then I think you'll do just fine. Congrats, and I hope all goes well - and enjoy your hospital stay! lol!

 

Rosie - February 1

I didn't need any help at all. And I also had a six year old. Luckily she was in school most of the time. We got out of the hospital on Wednesday, and I had the baby on Monday. My husband was working 1st & 2nd shift too. So when he was home he had to sleep the whole time. In other words, I was the one waking up all night, everynight. But I still loved it! I also had to get my six year ready, and off to school everyday, and keep the house in order. I would joke when people would ask how I was. Saying that I needed to just plan my nights instead of days, and have a pot of coffee ready. It's amazing what people can do when they have to. I think you should be just fine.

 

Olivene - February 1

Thanks very much to both of you for answering! I live in Japan. I also get an ultrasound every month! They take no chances here! I happy to read that you didn't need help. I just feel like I want to be alone with my baby, but I didn't want to find myself stuck (so far away from family in the U.S.) and needing help. Anyone else?

 

Shell - February 1

I was in hospital 5 days (Australia) after a natural birth and I was nervous about going home but fine. I had trouble feeding him about a week later but I just rang the maternity ward that I had just left and they gave me some tips. You will be great!

 

meg77 - February 2

With my first baby I felt like I needed help for 2 months - seriously. I was not prepared for the sleep deprivation and the hard work (I had NO experiences with infants before), my daughter woke up every 1.5 hours for the first 2 months and I b___stfed, I didn't even have time to brush my teeth. On top of that, I had baby blues and I cried a lot when I felt frustrated. With the second one coming, I know it will be a lot easier because I know exactly what to expect and I know it won't last forever. Plus I won't be worrying so much. I am hoping this one will be a better sleeper and less fussy :-)

 

Cara - February 2

I had help for a week after my first daughter was born. Then, when she was 20 months old, I had her twin sisters! I also had help for a week after they were born. It was nice having that help the first week because I could recover from the v____al deliveries. After that week, I was ready to face the world!! :) You just have to get a routine and figure out what works for you!! Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

jg - February 2

I was in hospital for 4 nights, and my husband was home with me for 3 weeks. I probably would have been okay with him home for two weeks, but 3 was great! Just having support while you are getting used to feeding/sleeping/NOT sleeping/ etc etc as the case may be, is a wonderful thing. I also had support from the local clinic and hospital which I could call with questions and worries whenever I needed.

 

Olivene - February 4

Thanks for all of the advice. We are breaking down and asking my friend to fly 13 hours to stay for a week! My mother is afraid to fly and his mother is caring for his grandmother. Thanks for all of the tips. Keep em coming. I'm sure other people might have the same question.

 

C - February 5

I've never had help with my three, but if you can get some, do...as long as they're willing.

 

mama-beans - February 5

I stayed in the hospital less then 20 hours after giving birth. I went home with my hubby to an empty house at 9pm and had no help at all the entire time. I had my first visitor 3 days later, but it was just visitors, not "help", as I lived far from family. I don't think I needed it though. We did just fine, and I think having someone else there would have made it harder, not easier. It was nice to be able to fumble through those first weird days with just my hubby and our daughter, getting used to each other and figuring things out on our own.

 

minna_k04 - February 5

Just wanted to let you know that there was a law pa__sed in 1997, that states all insurance companies must pay for a mother to stay 48 hrs after v____al delivery and 72 after c-section. You don't have to go home sooner if you don't want.

 

mama-beans - February 5

We wanted to go home... our hospital was great for labor and birth, great rooms, wonderful nurses... but as soon as you have the baby they wisk you off to a post-partum room... ours was literally closet sized, no where for hubby to even sit, let alone sleep. just room enough for a bed and the baby bed with a small bathroom. the nurses were NOT helpful.. I had large tears and needed ice-packs. I'd ask for one, and an HOUR later they would show up with one and act like I was imposing on them by asking! The lactation consultant didn't help at ALL..she'd just come in, latch my DD on ( not really) and leave. I had bleeding nipples 6 hours after her birth. It just became too much, so when my doc gave me the OK to go home, I left!! I would rather have no help at home then no help in a cramped, uncomfortable, useless hospital room!

 

Olivene - February 5

Wow, Mama Beans, That sounds awful. I'm sorry to hear you went through that. In Japan, we stay in the hospital for one week and 90% or more b___stfeed. So far, all of the midwives and nurses here have been very kind and gentle. I also fel that Breasfeeding is really supported. I'm hoping for the best. Glad to hear so many of you did okay with little or no help.

 

Cecille - March 23

I think everyone feels different after they deliver.I had my son late at night and was ready to go home an hour after delivering.I'd been through 22 hrs. of labor. I had so much help when I went home the next day and it was the last thing I wanted.I just wanted to be left alone with my baby.

 

Rabbits07 - March 24

I had my aunt come and stay with me to help with my first and discovered I didn't really want her there. Not so much that I didn't want her there, but it seems people who come to help want to help with the baby and you let you do everything else. I didn't want anyone else touching my baby! I'm getting ready to give birth to our 6th and no one will be coming to help. If someone volunteered to come do dishes or something I wouldn't say no, but like I said..it seems they always want baby.

 

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