MEAN Mother In Law In DELIVERY ROOM Need Fast Advice

35 Replies
Brandy - May 4

My boyfriends parents were very very upset when we told them that I was pregnant, since we are not married. They wanted SO badly for us to put the child up for adoption, break up, and forget the whole thing ever happend ... mostly because we are still young, in college, etc. This went on for months and months, and many of the things that they had to say were just flat out MEAN . Even at my baby shower, his mother was very depressed, did not socialize with anyone, and acted like she was flat-out MISERABLE !! Now that the time has come to have this precious baby; however... His mother wants me to call her, come over more, and even ALLOW HER IN THE DELIVERY ROOM ! My boyfriend has forgiven his parents for the way that they acted and doesn't seem to mind her being in the delivery room....but I am still not sure about it. I really don't think it's a fair request on her part based on her actions before. Any advice???

 

Anna - May 4

Even though I have never been pregnant, I don't think you should let her in the delivery room. From what I have heard, the less people in there, the better. This will be a hard time for you and your don't want to make it worse with someone with a poor att_tude to start with. Good luck!

 

Maleficent - May 4

HELL NO! no way would i let my MIL in the delivery room. she even tried to "crash" my last delivery but luckily the baby came so fast she missed it. you don't need anyone who is going to stress you out. especially someone who plays stupid games and makes things all about them. (my MIL does this, i don't know about yours) we arent even calling my husbands parents untill the baby is born this time.

 

Brandy - May 4

HAHA! That is exactly what my mother says... as a matter of fact, throughout my pregnancy MIL has tried to make things all about her... She always asks me to call her if I need her, and I'll tell her that I will... THEN, she'll get very offended that I don't call her with questions and concerns (as if I don't have a mother of my own to ask...). So, I know if I do give her that HELL NO, she's going to be upset and make a huge deal out of it... but like i said, daddy has put the whole thing behind him and tells me that I'm holding on to the past by letting that still affect my decision. He really sees no problem with having her there, and part of me feels like I should respect his wishes as well. I've thought about just telling her that I don't mind if she's in the room while I'm in labor...but that I want her out during the delivery? I don't know... but it's really causing me unnecessary stress.

 

Stephanie - May 4

Have whomever you want in the room with you during your active delivery. If someone is p__sed off or has hurt feelings because if it, then tough. Your pregnancy is about you and your child and your b/f. I did not want my own mother in the room while I was delivering. I made everyone except the dad go out in the hall and wait. Remember, this is YOUR child's birth and you can do it however you want to. Also, your b/f would not care if she was in the room because it's not his "area" exposed to all in the world. I would make it clear before you go into labor that you want only you and your b/f in the room during actual delivery and you will let everyone know when the need to go out and wait. Good luck to you!!

 

Jodi - May 4

Absolutely not! Despite her acting like a complete witch, this is a personal time for you and the father. I am against people being in the delivery room. I think that it takes away what you and the father share with the child. Tell her there is a waiting room where she can sit and wait.

 

Bella - May 4

I don't thinks its a good idea. If something starts to stress you while you are in labor your contractions could slow down and it can cause complications. The hospital I delivered my first child at said that they had people requesting to come into the delivery rooms so much they made a rule that only the people that come in with you when you check in can be in the room. No one admitted after that. Maybe your hospital has the same thing. So if you can get there without her she won't be able to come in.

 

Brandy - May 4

oh, that would be wonderful! :) I'll call them and ask... she's a nurse at the hospital, though... maybe I can talk to my doctor (if i don't go into labor between now and Fri.) and he can "arrange" something... haha. Thanks everyone for your advice. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't being unreasonable.

 

Daisy Jean - May 6

Just tell everyone that only the people who have seen your naked body before will be seeing it this time. It is your choice to not widen that circle. Your boyfriend should support you in this. Good luck having your baby!

 

Lynn - May 6

Tell her that she wasn't there when this baby was conceived & she sure as hell won't be there when it's born. My hospital takes a list of names form me at pre-registration of anyone allowed in the room for the dleivery & it will be me (I don't think I can get out of this one) and my hubby. Sorry, but that's my personal business down there & I'm not sharing it with the world.

 

Heather - May 6

... its up to you who you want in and don't want in... not even your boyfriend can say yes or no.. it's all your decision.

 

Jamie - May 6

Talk it over with your boyfriend.. decide together

 

Amy De - May 10

Brandy, I think that in your heart you feel you don't want to have her there during this experience, it is YOUR decision, and if b/f is pressuring you and you decide to allow it, you could really end up resenting him, her and the whole experience. There will be plenty of time for visiting with baby after delivery, sounds like she's trying to set some rules for what life is going to be like down the road...intrusions, etc. If you don't calmly, rationally and sweetly set your ground rules for your family now, you won't be able to do it later without even more problems. Sit down and think about what you want things to be like between you, b/f, baby and "in-laws", and what you can compromise on. Trust me, being up front early is the best way to go.

 

Maddie - May 10

Nope. Nota chance in hell! Just say it so sweetly..."Sorry, but I just want my mom, and the father in the room." Smile, and make that the end of it.

 

Sabrina - May 10

Brandy: My mother, my fiance' and my 10 year old are going to be in the room for my birth. Andy asked about his mother and I said no. Why...because it is my v____a and I get to say who sees it and me in the worse condition of our lives. Birth is personal and I will tell you this with my daughter, I wish my mother would have been there and I wish my ex-husband would have slept or something. You do what is good for you. Your boyfriend needs to be a man and tell his mother that it is not such a good idea and it make the BOTH of you uncomfortable. Good Luch sweetie.

 

Gina - May 11

The fact that she is a nurse would make me want her in there less. You know that she is going to interfere just because she thinks she knows more and you don't need that. It is you that is actually giving birth and not your b/f. He should want you to be comfortable and relaxed and not impose his mother on you.

 

Katharine - May 12

Just tell her that you're not comfortable with that and that your bf will call her after baby has arrived (be careful, you may have to live with her for the rest of your life). Also, my hospital had me fill out a form of who would be allowed in the room for the birth. If the hospital allows her in and you did not list her and sign it, they are probably looking at legal issues.

 

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