Dealing With A Miscarraige

24 Replies
BerryCH. - September 13

I posted a question about a week ago on this forum, that I may be miscarrying. I found out today that I did miscarry. I feel sad and am letting myself cry if I need to and talking about when I need to. I do have lots of support. For those of you who experienced this, did you greive for long? I was only about7weeks, it is normal to feel quite sad even though I was early in pregnany, right. I would appreciate if others could share their healing experience.


JKS - September 13

I had a m/c at 11.5 weeks. It was a terrible experience and I am about to have another one. I am 9 weeks pg, but there is no heart beat so it's only a matter of time. It's very normal to feel so very sad. It really was (and is again) a roller coaster. SOmetimes you're ok, and others times you crumble at the drop of a hat. Anytime you see a pg woman, or hear of anythign that reminds you of being pg, you can't help but think about the loss of your own baby. As my 1st due date nears, I am getting sadder and sadder. I had thought that as long as I was pg again my the time my due date came up, I'd be ok. But instead I'm going to have another miscarriage. I am sorry for our losses and I hope that things turn out for your future. Best wishes to you. Jodie


Melissa - September 13

I had my miscarriage at 8 wks. that was about 2 months ago, and I still think about it everyday. I cried at the drop of a hat for almost a week. It was the fact that I was so excited and I had bought a lot of stuff and I just hated putting it all in a box and stacking it away. It really helped for me to go to some websites on miscarriage and see some facts. I really hope that you know that a misscarriage is NOT the womans fault. I was driving myself nuts trying to think of anything I did anything wrong. But my doctor told me that this doesn't mean you cannot ever have kids. I was told to wait until about 3 normal cycles and then get yourself healthy and try again, also I heard that you should still take your prenatal vitamins while your trying. Good luck and I'm sorry about your loss.


Allie - September 17

I've just had a MC at 9 weeks this week and I think I'm coping okay. I have one daughter already and its made me appreciate her all the more. I think it would be more difficult to deal with if I didn't have a child already. I'm trying to think of it as just a medical problem and not think about the fetus being a baby. It was so early and doctors say that if a pregnancy miscarries it usually means the fetus wasn't strong enough to survive so I see it as inevitable and just not to be. I hope to have more healthy children in the future and am focusing on that and my existing beautiful daughter. I think it helps to keep busy and just not think about it too much. Its like any illness, noone likes to be ill but it happens and you have to try and get thru it.


monique - September 17

I had a miscarriage when I was 5 weeks, and i did grieve,but when I thought about God has a purpose for everything it eased my pain. It is okay to cry, so go ahead and get that over. When you have your next preg you will not have a lot of stress. Sometimes this happens because the baby did not form correctly. Pray and try again. Make sure while your going through your healing you include GOD. Many blessings.


Fran - August 23

Hi there, I am just home from hospital today after miscarrying on Sunday, in fact I had a 'delayed miscarraige' which ment I had to go and have an operation to remove what hadn't come out naturally, I feel really sad and although I was only 7 weeks too I was already thinking of names etc and stroking my 'bump' I already have a little boy who is my life and I hope what has happened won't stop us from being able to try again when we are ready, my husband and family have been very supportive but no-one can take the pain away can they. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss but I hope talking about it has helped you to deal with things alittle more. take care


M.F - August 23

Hi! Berry, Im sorry for your loss I know how you feel I had a miscarry last year it was my first it was really hard for me to deal with it at first I cried so much I really never tought someday it would happen to me it did I had also picked a name one of my little sisters had also gave the first gift and everyone was happy anyway after the loss I wanted so bad to get preg soon but it did'nt happen till this year in may almost a year... later Im happy that im preg... but I still wonder about my first I know how you feel and understand you but we also have to understand that this things happen for a reason and only GOD knows why!! and even thow we lost our little angles at so many weeks( i lost mine at 7 weeks to )I belive they are all in heaven I really do for now you need sopport and people to talk to don't lock yourself in this it will only hurt more and yes it is normal to feel this way little by little your hurt will go away you will still remember but the hurt will not be the same as at first just try not to lock yourself in this and if you need someone to talk to do it I have to say that just by reading ur post made me cry cause I know how u feel just don't worry no more and once you know it God will send u onther little blessing I belive that It will happen I'll pray for you and if u want send me ur e-mail I'll e-mail u as soon as you post it ok Take care .....


PJ - August 24

I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks (1 month ago) and I hadn't told my family I was pregnant (except mum). After I miscarried I really wanted to talk about it and was frustrated that I hadn't told anyone- so felt I couldn't tell anyone what I'd been through either. I obviously spoke to my husband but still somehow needed to talk more. Luckily I have a good friend and I talked to her about it. I wish I could talk to my family but telling someone that you had a miscarriage isn't part of a normal conversation! I feel very sad but not distraught. I now feel that I really want to be pregnant again. There are milestones that make me feel sad- like when I would have been 3mths etc. Reading about other peoples experiences through websites like this and feeling that people are interested in your story really helps too. Good luck BerryCH and everyone else. It's a horrible experience we'll never forget but the future may bring us lots and lots of happiness


TO PJ - August 24

Pj I am sorry for your loss I to mc at the begining of this year and it was very hard you say you wish you would have told more people you were pregnant well I did tell and that made it hard for me but what helped some is I found out I was not alone at all there are so many women that have had mc and do not talk about it until they are with someone that has just gone thru it so you just don't know but it was comforting to me to know I was not alone and I believe God knows best there was something just not right but now I am 17wks pregnant and everything seems to be going well was just at the doc yesterday and baby has nice strong heart beat so it will happen for you too just keep hope and good luck and tons of baby dust to you!!


g - August 24

Sorry about your loss. To answer your question i miscarried a baby at 12 weeks back in '98 and i still think about him and wonder what he would look like and i still cry. Im lucky and have a little 5 year old girl and now am 7 weeks pregnet but i'm probably going to lose this one because last week i had a threatened miscarrige and i cant seem to stop bleeding.The DR said theres nothing they can do but wait it out. I believe at any stage of pregnacy we will feel sad and miss our little ones, yes its very normal of how you feel. Good luck to you and hang in there. Your not alone.But be thinking positive if you do try again miricles do happen.


PJ - August 25

thank you for responding to me. I am very grateful and really appreciate it. I am so happy to hear that you are now pregnant- can't wait until it happens to me again!! I wish you a healthy pregnancy. Stories like yours are so positive and definitely make me feel better. g- I hope that you are OK and was sorry to read your story. I bet your daughter is very precious to you! Good luck- I send you my best wishes and will have my fingers crossed for you.


JJS - August 26

I too lost a baby at 7 weeks - about a month ago. This has been the most difficult thing I've had to go through. When I first started spotting, we went in to see the dr. and saw the baby's heartbeat. Everyone took this as an encouraging sign...even though we knew there was a chance I could lose the baby. I am a woman of faith and I've had a really hard time coming to terms with this. WHY? I just don't understand. If I wasn't meant to have this baby, why did God bless me with a pregnancy? I am blessed and have an 18 month old son. He is my every JOY. I am a little afraid to try again (I just had my first cycle) ... but I think we will. I know I will never have another carefree pregnancy. I can't imagine what the women go through that have mulitiple miscarriages. Perhaps they are stronger than me. Even a month later, I cry everyday. A song that has helped me alot is "Glory Baby" by Watermark. I have a sense of peace in knowing my baby is in heaven - but I know I will always wonder what the baby would've looked like - been like. I wish you luck in your healing process and in your future pregnancies. Jennifer


Kris - August 27

I found found out yesterday about my m/c and am devestated. Only 6 weeks along, but we've been trying for 6 or 7 months to give our son a sibling. I think what is most troubling are the few people who've said "You're young, you can try again, it happened for a reason...." I even got a "I guess that means you guys will have to try harder." I'd rather hear nothing at all than hear these things. Yes, we're young, 26, and yes, we will try again, but that doesn't make this any easier to deal with.


teigan - August 29

i have had 4 misscarridges and not one has been easier than any other, you are bound to be upset as you never think it could happen to you, but its so scary that so many women go through it. i suppose it depends on the individual person how they cope, some cry, some bottle it up, your coping with the only way you know how, and i think you will be fine soon, no you will never forget but you will get over it i promise... good luck trying again xxx


teigan - August 29

i forgot to put how i went through it, i didnt cope very well, i got a serious bout of depression, still have it, but will not take anything as i am pregs again ( with all my meds to keep it in ) i had alot of support from my hubby anf little boy, but i couldnt stop crying either its natural xxx


Lois - September 14

Sorry about everyone loss. I had three miscarriages for three years straight and the same exact month. I was 4 months the first two times and 2 months the third time. It was very upseting to deliver an deceased baby. I finally just had a little girl. After the third miscarriage, i prayed and prayed for God to give me the strength to endure. I tried to keep myself busy after my miscarriages. Even though i just had a baby, i still think about the miscarriages. Get closer to God and he will lead you in the right direction.


christa - September 20

Berry, I just miscarried at 8 weeks. it is normal to feel very sad. i cried and cried. now it has been three weeks since. the pregnancy was an accident, so my husband doesnt want to try again.i dont cry anymore about the miscarraige, but i get really sad when i see someone else that is pregnant, or hear things about babies, or walk through the baby section at stores. i cant let myself think that that was my last chance to have a baby, if i did that, i think i would still be a disaster.



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