Old Frightened First Time Mum

5 Replies
Dahlberg - June 24

I have just replied to a thread by 'Confused' that I worked out is years old.  I am 47 years old, and just found out I am pregnant.  When I went to see my GP, his first question was, "what do you plan to do with the baby".  He was doubtful to the point of almost suggesting that termination was my best option (if I was responsible).  I am only 6 weeks pregnant.  I feel very alone and extremely scard.  The day after I found out I was pregnant, I also found out my partner was having an affair in a terrible way, and all he could say was that I had 'fkd up a relationship for him'.  The next day I experienced some light bleeding and pain.  Its stopped today, but unlike other mothers, there have been no flowers or congratulations for me.  Everyones first question is, 'are you going to keep the baby'.  I guess my baby will decide.  All my life I wanted to be a mother.  I'm terrified of losing him or her, but I know there is a good chance given my age, and that 20 years ago I had an eptopic pregnancy.  It seems that there is plenty of support for teens in pregnancy, but if you are deemed 'old', there is none and its very frightening.  My only support, is my now ex partners family, which is not ideal.  I check for bleeding every time I pass urine, and thank God when there is none.  Please pray for me and my baby.  I will pray for yours and all the other women who are experiencing similar.  


Noahsmum - July 5

Hi hun. I just read your post. It sounds like you are in a really dificult situation. I really feel for you. Congratulations on your pregnancy whatever the outcome. I have lost 4 babies and im waiting for my fifth miscarriage to start. (HCG dropping so its inevitable ).Though i have lost so many i know that i will always be thier mother. Even if no one else values thier exisence i know they are my children. Please remember that you are now a mother. Thats important and precious. I really hope you are able to get your situation stable and i hope you and your baby are ok.



Dahlberg - July 6

Thank you for your kind words Noahsmum.  I lost my baby last week. Its been very sad.  I have never felt so alone.  I hope you have support through your miscarridge.  It's heartbreaking.


Noahsmum - July 11

Hi again. Im so sorry your pregnancy ended this way. I can tell you that you will feel angry and disappointed and numb at times for a long time but it gets easier to live with i promise. Give yourself time to grieve and when you can, distract yourself with a hobby like baking or painting or whatever. Ive now lost 5 and every pregnancy was different and every loss was different. It helps to know my babies were individuals. It is amazing to think that Noah was fully formed when he was born at 15 weeks. That baby had fingernails! Even at 5 weeks a baby has so much written in thier DNA. Eye colour, height, personality traits. They are tiny people and we SHOULD remember them and grieve them. But don't let this experience define you. Women like us are made of strong steely stuff! We can keep going! 

Sorry ive rambled but i want you to know there are lots of us and we are tougher than we think.


Dahlberg - July 13

Thank you for your kindness and support Noahsmum.  I am sorry for your loss too.  I hope you have had someone to be kind to you in your time of sadness.  Time.  Time is needed.


Noahsmum - August 4

Hi my dear.

I am fortunate enough to have family who are a support. The biggest help though has been my faith. You see i am one of Jehovahs Witnesses. Knowing that my God is aware of my suffering and is willing to help is of great comfort. There is nothing like hope to stabilise you in a 'storm'. People sometimes say that such things are God's will. The Bible clearly says that he isnt responsible for evil things (james1:13). On the other hand he promises something good for us, a life with no more death (revelation 21:4)



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