Is PPD Ruining My Marriage

5 Replies
softbreeze200 - January 4

I really need to know thta I am not alone. I feel like I really dislike my husband now and I often think about what it would be liek to be seperated from him. I will start at the beggining. He works away at months at a time and during my pregnancy he was not around alot. I had to go to all my dr appt and u/s alone, and when he was home, he really wasnt very interested in my pregnancy at all it seemed like. I couldn't even get him to be interested in helping me get the baby's room set up or show me any excitment. But he would say he was excited. When I finally went into labor, and I had a epi through the night waiting to dialate, he slept the whole time in the hospital room. I layed there scared shitless and listened ot him snore. I so badly had a urge to just punch him in the face while he slept. Once she was born, he became a very sweet and caring partner towards me. Those days int he hospital were wonderful. He was caringa dn attentive and made me feel wonderful. Then once we got home, he changed again. He spent the frist 2.5 months going out quading with his buddies and drinking beer in the garages with them, while I was at hoem with baby. He wouldn't get up with me or even aknowledge that she was crying in the night and has no idea that I spent many nights in her nursery crying with her. I would ask him to be home more and be more involved with us, and he would get mad thinking I was telling him that he couldnt go out. Then he had ot go back to work,a nd has been gone since oct. I feel so emotionally removed from him to the point that I really feel like I dont like him anymore. I have tried to tell him and he really doesn't say anything about it. I feel alot of resentment towards him becaus eI feel like he has missed out on so much of the amazing things of having a new baby and he will never get that time back. I am smitten with my baby girla dn love to spend every waking hour with her, and can't understand why he doesnt as well. He is going to miss so much of her life as it is because of the work he does, why doesn't he want to make the most of the time he does have?? I find myself wishing I had a different husband, one who shows me love andtenderness every day and makes me feel as though me and my daughter are the most important things in his world. I get jealose of others that seem to have what I want, but then I think I have it all with my little girl. I am terrified of the thought of once my kids are grown and gone that we wont have anything to keep us together and then I will be all alone then. What a mess I am. I have asked my dr about it and she just kind of shrugs me off and says it is normal to feel some confusiona dnoverwhelmed after a baby. But I dont think this is normal. I have no thoughts of hurting my baby or anything liek that, I am just really sad.Anyone out there feel the same??


emma.aherne - January 7

Hi, my name is Emma i have 2 lovely little boys age 5 and 3 and am expecting again. 6 months after my 2nd baby i too had the same feelings as you, but my husband did do everything but i still had these crazy thoughts pop in my head nearly 24 hours a day that i didn't want to be with him, i looked through local papers and imagined selling our house and looking for another to live in etc. a girlfriend of mine also had same feelings about her husband. Like you i did n't have feeling like this for my children. I thought and still do think that im going mad. These feelings have come back now that i am pregant again, this are complusive thoughts that i treated with an anti depressant. I knew that i didn't want to think these things but something in my head thought different. I hope this helps you are not alone and it is a type of mental illness that can be treated.


softbreeze200 - January 8

emma thanks so much for responding and telling me your story. It relly is rea__suring to know that I m not lone in this. I am going to seek out some couselling for this because I relly dont want to keep feeling like this, as it only gets worse when he goes back to work. It really is a terrible feeling isnt it?? After your second baby, did these feelings eventually go away??? Did you go back to feeling happy in your marriage??It is great to talk to someone who understands. thank you.


clindholm - January 9

softbreeze, I am so sorry to hear how terrible you are feeling. This is supposed to be such a wonderful time for you and your dh has ruined it. I'm sure that meds can help and it may be worse b/c of the hormones but it really sounds like your dh is an immature jerk. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but he needs to grow up. You would think with a job like that he would want to spend more time with his family when he can rather than drinking and hanging out with his buddies. I hope you are feeling better soon and dh gets his head out of his a**


softbreeze200 - January 15

Thanks clindholm! I feel the same way. I actually told him the other day that exact thing and I think maybe some of it hit home. Well at least I hope so. I guess time will tell. Thanks for your kind words. :)


jenna32 - February 2

I went through the same thing. But I think i just genuinely didn't like him and call me stupid but i couldn't see raising a child with him and i guess i only realized it once she was born. and please don't judge but i don't even want him around her now and it has been a year, i really think i need counciling as well. i don't know if it is my issues with him,his inability to pay support and put her first ( like your story)or maybe that i feel i just want her to myself? i don't know. We've been seperated for like over a year now anyway.



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