My Son Is A Girl

15 Replies
EricaLynn - January 27

I recently had my daughter. She is healthy and perfect and beautiful and we totally adore her. But I still cant help but feel a little disapointed that she is a girl. I know its not her fault or anything obviously but I was so sure when I was pregnant that I was going to have a boy, and I wanted a little boy sooooooo bad. I feel guilty about it but I still cant help but feel a little bad that I got a girl instaid of a boy. I love her and she is perfect, but I cant kick the feeling. Anyone know what I mean? Is this normal?


newbie - January 27

Up until they told me from a ultrasound that I was having a girl, I just new I would have a boy, I even had dreams when I was pregnant that I was having a boy. I always wanted a boy, even when I was little i always pretended I had a little boy when we would play with dolls. well after the ultrasound I told myself that it could be wrong and I still might have a boy. NOPE, I had a beautiful little girl. At the time I felt similar to you, but a little shy of a year later I find myself telling people, I have no idea what I would of done had I had a boy. I just think to myself that I can alway try again someday.


Lala - January 27

Yes, I just had my little boy a week ago. I always sooooo wanted a daugher; in fact one daugter only and no other children would have made me so happy. Well, of course I love my son to pieces, but I think our feelings are normal, and there is nothing to do about them. We just have to accept our feelings for what they are, and then we can begin to move on (unless you want to trade LOL--just kidding of course!). Take care!


Mommy_to_be - January 28

I don't mean to be rude, so please don't take offense. But did you consider this thought before you had a baby. I mean, I'd love to have both a girl and a boy, but I would not be upset if I had all girls or all boys. I would not have had a baby when I did if I knew I would be disappointed if I had one or the other. Anyway, I'm sure you love your daughter very much and you will "kick the feeling" soon. It's prob a part of a little postpartum depression...if you find yourself still feeling this way in a week or so or that you start feeling to your doctor about it. Good luck :)


EricaLynn - January 28

Of course I concidered it before she was born. I knew there was a 50 50 chance of having a boy or a girl, but in the back of my mind I really thought she would be a boy...and I was so ready to have one. I really love my daughter though and I think I am just so shocked that she is a girl and not a boy...


Lala - January 28

Oh, isn't it "great" when naive people who have no comprehension of something you're feeling (just b/c it happens to be an easy issue for them) feel the need to put your feelings down?? Feelings are feelings--we don't choose to have them. If we did, we'd only feel good ones! The only thing we can do with not-so-great feelings is accept them and work on slowly moving on. Being encouraged to feel guilty (another negative feeling) does NOT help, so perhaps keep the guilt to yourself!


EricaLynn - January 29

Yes it is annoying, I dont mean to feel this way I just do. It doesnt mean that I love my daughter any less. I love her more than anything I was just set on having a boy. But I wouldnt trade her now and I really do love her.


Mommy_to_be - January 29

Isn't it more "great" that a person who is offended by someone just expressing their feelings in response to someone else's feelings gets defensive and b___hy for no reason? Mine was a valid response and point, she answered respectfully and did not express offense, so mind your own business. As I said before if you need some repet_tiveness to understand, I'm sure she loves her daughter and I think it's just a part of "baby blues" that some 80% of women it is normal.


ashleyb0827 - January 31

I'm going to have a boy & I wanted a girl very badly also. & I understand what you're saying ... i don't love my baby any less (and i always wanted both anyway) i just am hoping that in the future i don't keep having boys. Haha. I am always saying "well next time it's going to be a girl" ... and i hope that people don't think that it means i won't love my son. KIND OF THE SAME THING: i also am one of the women that HATE being pregnant & i hope when i tell someone that they're not thinking that i am not grateful that i'm going to have my baby ... i just want him to be here & skip the process!!!!!! You can't help the way you feel .. you just do ... it's not a big deal. As long as you love your baby the same amount, who cares if you wished she was a boy?!!!!


moescrilla - February 2

I understand what you're talking about. I dont care what I have. I may do that so I dont get upset or disapointed if I have the opposite of what I want. I just hope for a healthy baby. If I get blessed with a boy, thats great. If I get blessed with a girl I'll be just as happy. (I have a son already, so either two boys or a boy in a girl would be cool either way)


djh - February 4

Thank God you can recognize that being a girl is not her fault! In some cultures both the mother and the child are shunned until the mother "produces" a male child. You are normal to feel that way if in your heart you had a desire for a boy (or girl). I wanted a girl for my first as I had mostly brothers LOL, got a perfect boy, then a second boy who I knew was male after amniocentesis, was a little disappointed, but he was so ill at birth that the momentary let-downs were trumped by prayers he would live. My third was a girl, my last another pre-term NICU boy. In the end, you feelings will fade and your daughter will be exactly who she was supposed to be in your mind and in your heart. Don't let anyone bash you for feeling what you feel. It would be different if you didn't care for her, love her, treat her well because she was a girl. You are going to be just fine!


suze42 - February 23

Lala, I do not think Mommy2be was being rude or insensative at all! She asked a really valid and I think obvious question, and prefaced it w/a desire not to be rude. Then went on to give some nice encouraging advise. If people are going to ask for advise you have to be open to everything (except rudeness...i do not agree w/that). But I think mommy was being supportive, as we all should be. Erica, give yourself some are still pp and your hormones are all over. ALl new mommies need a break...just some time to feel the wierd, new thoughts...Bringing home a baby is a huge life changing event. I told DH that it was the best and strangest time of my life. The funny thing is as time pa__ses, you forget the wierdness and only remember the joy! Good luck! ps. I had a DS first too...always thought I wanted a girl. Let me tell you, he IS my little boyfriend. I am 19wks w/ a girl now, and I actually kinda wanted another boy...they are sweethearts and have a bond w/moms that is so so so special!


suze42 - February 23

ericalynn, I realized this post is a month old..which means baby is too! How are you doing w/this? I hope would be great to hear!


EricaLynn - February 24

I am now doing great. My daughter is almost 8 weeks old and she is the coolest thing in the world! She smiles and coos and takes bathes with us. I think I was in such shock initially because I really felt like i would have a boy, and really wanted a boy as my first. But now that we are more settled, I cannot even imagine having a son. My daughter is so beautiful and amazing, I will not feel sad in the least if I end up with more girls! (although eventually I would like to have at least one of each) She is so perfect! I think my hormones were just on a rollar coaster. Now that b___stfeeding is easier and I have gotten used to being a mom, I really love it. My daughter is so awesome!


suze42 - February 25

erica, You brought a huge smile, and some tears to my eyes!!! I knew you would be fine when you checked back! Is this whole experience just crazy!! Im so glad you and your sweet girl are doing great! Just enjoy.


arynn2002 - April 20

I did the opposit, I swore my 1st was going to be a girl. Then the ultra sound said boy. When I left the docs office I cried. But I tell ya , I'm Sooooooo glad I had a boy! When I went for my 2nd baby's ultra sound I was hoping for another boy, & thats what I had ! :) Its ok to feel this way, & Im sure the feeling will pa__s.



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