Hi, honey. I'm a much older mommy than you. I'm almost 40 and have a 3 year old and a 4 year old. I came on this website, because I'm actually trying to decide whether or not to have another baby. (Insert giggle in my direction here). Seriously, here are the things you're doing right. First, you're still in school. Very important - not just for your future, but for your baby's future. That little baby will one day be an older child. Here's a cool thing. You're so young, that you will not only enjoy (and have energy - even if it doesn't feel like it now) to run around and play with your older child, who you can be mommy first, but also a friend to, later. Cool, huh?
Let me also tell you this . . . Eventually, sooner than you think, your little one will suddenly be able to do things for himself - little things that don't seem like much, but will ease the pressure you're feeling. Things like washing his own hands, putting on his own pull-up (that's right, it's not diapers forever), and walking alongside you instead of your carrying him with your purse and groceries, or whatever.
Here's another thing I want to say. God loves you. He loves you and your son so very much. God says in the bible that being a parent is a very important job. You are young, and I get that. I'm not preaching, either. It's hard, even when you're old as dirt like me, to be a mommy. But, you know, it's the most important job on earth.
I want you to know that I am personally praying for you every day, starting now. Please try your best to find the strength to finish school. You are already someone your son looks up to. You can be proud of yourself just for being you, and you can be proud of yourself for being a mommy.
A lot of people might say that you have to give up your life to be a mommy. Well, it can feel like that sometimes. But, in some ways, as a woman, your life or 'ident_ty' can be found in motherhood. It's not the only thing you are, but it is a very important part of WHO you are.
God smiles on you, and is only a prayer away. You don't have to pray fancy, just simply " Gee, God, help me today, please. I want to be a good mommy, but I'm a teenager. I also want to finish school, and have a life. Please show me your will to do both well."
God bless you. Jesus love you, and so do I. You're doing a good thing. Sometimes, the most rewarding things are the things we struggle with at first. You will never be sorry you had this beautiful boy. Don't misunderstand me . . . I occasionally wonder what the heck am I doing, and why won't these little people leave me alone. And yet, they complete me, and I can't imagine my life without them.
It's such hard work, but little bitty kisses and smiles make up for a lot of whiney "Why can't you spend 24/7 with me" little people fussy c___p. We probably did it to our moms, too. Thank God they hung in there. There's light at the end of your tunnel.
I'm praying for you. I hope that you'll tell me one day it's all making sense.
Smooches and hugs from Jesus (and me!)
a.k.a. Oldest mom in town. :)