Children After Miscarriage

13 Replies
Leia - November 1

My miscarriage was yesterday and it was my first and only pregnancy. I think it's great how some of you are so courageous and want to start trying immediately after the m/c. My feelings are a bit different. Is there anyone who has had miscarriage but now have children? Please respond, I'd love to hear some words of encouragement! Thanks.


Yum - November 1

yeah sure..quite few people I knew m.c their first pregnancy, then have children afterward..


Sue - November 1

Hi Leia, I am sorry for your loss, I know the pain you feel, it never goes completely but it does get easier with time (cliche I know but its true). I had my first m/c in March of 1994. It was my first pregnancy & just into the second trimester so we had just started to tell people we were expecting. The loss was devastating. Suddenly it seemed that every one I knew was pregnant and everywhere I looked was babies. Nobody seemed to understand why it was so hard to just pick up and carry on. I knew I wanted to try again asap, but was so frightened that something bad would happen again. By September that year I was pregnant again. At that point being pregnant was almost worse than not being pregnant as I stressed out and worried having another m/c but all went well and we were blessed with a daughter the following Summer. We followed up with a son a few years later, another straightforward pregnancy no problems. So here I am now, 2 m/cs since the beginning of the year (the last one 2 weeks ago) and wondering again what the future holds. I guess what want to say to you is this. Give yourself some time to cope with your loss, allow yourself to grieve and also let your body readjust itself (hormones can mess with emotions something wild!). There is no reason to think that the next time will not have a positive outcome.Every time I look at my 10 year old daughter I am a believer, my son reinforces the belief that things can turn out OK. Which is why when we get the go ahead from the Dr to try again we will. I am sure I will worry and stress (thats just a part of who I am) but the prize is worth the risk and sometimes you just have to make that leap of faith. Sorry to ramble on hope something here helps


Leia - November 1

Sue, Thank you for sharing your story, it was very touching. This is a very dark and sad time in my life but I do know as time pa__ses, it will get better. It seems I am fine one minute and in tears the next and reading your post brought me to tears but in a good way. I am thinking of you and your family during this time as well. It is so nice to hear about other people who experience similar situations and get a chunk of their perspective. Keep in touch. leia


Sue - November 7

Leia, Sorry not to have been in touch, 2 of my best friends have major family stuff going on right now so things have been a bit hectic. Just wanted to check in on you & how you were doing. I remember the dark times very well, feeling fine for a while and getting on with things, followed by a total crash and a new flood of tears. Understanding friends are a great thing! If they have been through it themselves and can understand, they are priceless. My husband is great, but sometimes talking to a woman who has been there, done that, got the t shirt, survived and knows how it feels is very comforting. Anyway, been thinking about you and hope you are doing OK, let me know. Sue


Leia - November 10

Hi Sue, Thanks for the note. I hope your friends are doing a little better. Things are better. I only bled for about 5 days and my body feels back to it's normal self. I don't think I have ovulated yet and I haven't had a period. We had decided to wait 1 cycle and start trying again. I am pretty surprised at how quickly I am ready to start trying again. At first, I was very hesitant (during the bleeding, miscarriage) but once the bleeding stopped I feel ready to go. The thing that has amazed me is how people react to miscarriages, like it's no big deal and I should be over it. I almost feel bad sometimes for my feelings. Anyhow, thanks for the note, how are things going with you? Leia


Sue - November 18

Hi Leia. I am having computer issues, this is my 3rd attempt to post. I am happy to hear that things are going better and you are feeling good. I am still getting blood tested on a weekly basis to check that my hcg levels return to zero. I hope this week will be the last. It is 4 weeks since my m/c so I am now waiting for the first period, seems to be taking forever. My Dr has said to wait until after a second one to try again. It seems on this subject that they all have something different to say. Please don't let anyone make you feel you are wrong to be grieving this loss. After my first m/c I thought I was crazy because I could not just put it behind me and carry on as if nothing had happened which seemed to be what people expected me to do. In fact it is only recently that I can talk about it without tears and that is 10 years later! Wait until someone tells you it is no big deal as it was not really a baby- you either discover more self control than you ever knew you had... or you hit them! Most people don't know how insensitive they are being because they just don't understand this kind of loss. One good thing this time has been that only my closest friends know what has happened and they have all experienced similar losses so have been a great support system (especially as my husband was working out of town when this happened). Let me know how things are going, take care of yourself, Sue


Leia - November 27

Hi Sue, Good to hear from you. I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. Well, I got AF today, 28 days since m/c. I was following my cm during this time (not for ttc purposes) and I don't think I ovulated. My husband and I are talking about possibly trying this time around. Scared but I do want a baby. Some days I feel ready and others I don't. So, are you using protection until waiting to try again? My doctor told us to wait for 2 cycles before we started trying again but he said we didn't have to be "careful" and if we did get pregnant it would be fine. He kind of contradicts himself. But anyhow, I hope you levels drop fast! My husband was working a night shift the day I miscarried. It was horrible, I was so emotionally drained by the time I fell asleep that horrible day. We moved to Kentucky for his job in July and have no family/support system out here. It was a hard move and to add a miscarriage on top of that... I hope I never have to experience it again. Keep me posted on things! I am hoping for that period to come soon. Leia


Sue - November 29

Hi Leia,I was happy to hear from you again. Thanksgiving was a quiet time for us as all our family is in the UK (Which is where we are originaly from). Hope yours was good, did you get a chance to visit with family? I know how hard it is to move away from family and friends and it takes a while to adjust to a new place & meet new people. Good to hear af has arrived for you. It sounds like your body is getting back to normal. My hormone levels are back to zero, which is great as I hate having blood taken but as yet af is not happening. It is 6 weeks today since m/c so I guess it should be anytime now. I hope so as I have enough PMS going on right now (irrationaly grumpy and crying very easily both of which are not usualy me!) and I would just like to feel like I am moving forward and I cant think too far ahead until that is out of the way. Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. Sue


anna - December 6

Leia, Sue Never give up the hope. I had 6 miscarriage before having my son (5years old now) and one m/c after his birth. I had all my 6 m/c-s with no friends/support. Right after getting married my husband and I moved to USA from the other part of World. I did not know English, and did not wont to worry my family back home not to mention that at that time the phone calls were .90c a minute which I could not afford. so I had no one to even share my grieve and frustration. I know it is very hard but be strong and just believe. It will happen.....just think there is always someone who is worst than you. There are woman who can not even get pregnant.......And I am sure they want childeren no less than we do.....Good luck.....


Jen - December 7

Leia, I know how you feel because I have walked in your shoes this year as well. I'm also scared to try again for fear of the worst. I've really never been afraid to try anything, but I'm afraid of the pain and sadness again. Just so you know, you're not alone. I think there is hope out there we just have to believe and go for it.


jas - December 9

I lost 3 before having my son. I had an ectopic several years after he was born and am now 24 weeks along. Anything is possible, you just need to have faith that all is for a reason and it will happen when it is meant to happen. The body works in mysterious ways - sometimes the pregnancy is good and everything is a go and other times something is missing and it's a m/c. Know your body is doing what is best and never fear to try again. Good luck


Leia - December 11

Anna, Jen and Jas... Thank you all for your words and stories! I am hopeful that dh and I will have a baby someday... maybe soon.


Cheri - December 28

Hello, I totally inderstand your pain and grief.Last year I had 2 m/c's within 6 months of eachother.I was 10 weeks each time.I couldn't understand why either.I was 26, healthy, did not drink, do drugs, nothing.I also already have 2 other children.These things can't be explained.I am hoping that I will finally get my little girl since I have 2 boys!! You will be okay, and things will happen for you.Just keep faith and hope, and it will all work out.



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