Dealing With M C

7 Replies
hailey07 - February 26

I had an m/c one month ago. Since I have been having problems dealing with the emotional pain of the m/c, however, I doing a little better now. I've made it through the denial and anger and I am now coming to terms with it and accepting it. The hardest day was the day that I had scheduled my first prenatal exam. I kept thinking the entire day of what the baby's heartbeat would have sounded like, and what its measurement wouls have been. Luckily, the day came and went, and I just tried to keep as busy as possible. Getting into my real question... I recently have noticed that I have been having overwhelming feelings of worry for my significant other. Sometimes I become consumed with fear of losing him (sometimes I think about him getting into a car accident, or other types of physical injury). It's like, since the m/c, I have realized exactly how little control I have. I didn;t have control over my own body, so it is blatantly obvious that I don't have control over someone else, or their safety. I'm wondering if any women out there who have had a m/c have felt this way? It comes at the most inopportune times, like before I sit down to write a grocery list, or read a book. It just comes and hits me like a ton of bricks, and before I know it I'm insane with worry, crying, and just completely losing my mind. Does anyone have any suggestions, or stories of how they overcame this post m/c anxiety?


Belief - February 26

HaileyO7 - I am very sorry to of your loss. I too had a m/c last Nov and just found out I had a chemical pregnancy. I cried all the time at any little thing, especially if it included my husband, who has had a heart and kidney transplant. He is my life and I don't think I could live without him. You have to find faith and believe. Enjoy the time you have and cherish every moment. I know it sounds cliche, but it is very true. I find myself calling my husband during the day just to say "I love you," or "thank you for being there for me." I know blind faith is hard at times, but I believe that God has a plan and will give me what I can handle. Strange as it may seem - losses and all, he builds our strength and trust in him. Cry when you need to cry, talk to your husband and know that you have an extended family right here that will help you get through those rough days. ((((HUGS))))


Whisper - February 26

Hello. First let me say, I am so sorry for your loss. I know there are no words to make any of it better. I just wanted to let you know that what you are feeling is a completely normal and expected stage of grief. Anytime we lose someone, be it someone we've known for years, or even the child we carry, who we completely fall in love with the moment we know we are expecting, that loss makes us realize just how short life can be, and unfair at that. The realization causes all sorts of worry about losing other loved ones, because a tragedy can strike at any time and its a tough pill to swallow day in and day out. The thing we have to remind ourselves is, that it was always this way, we just didn't realize it before, and worrying over it isn't going to prevent these things from happening, and all we can do is try and get back to where we were before, and try to move forward. I know its hard, seemingly impossible even, but I can tell you that it does get easier with time. Until then, whatever you feel, whatever you think, whatever you do to handle and sort through your grief, is normal. All of it. You are allowed your grief, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You are a human being, with human emotion, and that is a big part of what makes us all so very special, the ability to feel on such deep levels. Though sometimes I know we wish we didn't, it is a beautiful thing to just be able to feel. Embrace those feelings, every one of them, and just know that in time, things will slowly get back to where they were. You are in my thoughts. Always know that you have all of us here in this forum anytime you need anything, even just to vent! Its very therapeutic, and helps tons! God bless you and yours. (((hugs)))


hailey07 - February 26

Thanks so much ladies. It is good to be reminded that this is all normal. Its just that sometimes, while I'm in the midst of another panic thing, I feel like I am losing my mind! But your well wishes and rea__surance absolutely helps! Thank you so much and sorry for your losses, hopefully we will all have happy healthy pregnancies and babies soon! My love and best wishes!


sososleepy - February 26

Yes hailey, I have a touch of that too. I worry more about everyone more than before. When I 've cried, it's because I'm wishing I hadn't had the mc, or I'm angry about it and feeling so empty down there, or I think about all the wondering I did about what it would look like ect. I stayed as busy as I could trying not to cry, but I did anyway. It was better to let it out, for me. I had a few foot stomping screams as well. Suggestions, send everyone to the movies and have a good cry. Overcome... I'm not over it, but it is better than it was. Hugs.


LanaK - February 26

Hailey07, I think anxiety/depression are part of the natural grieving process -it's called "normal bereavement" in response to what happened. But if your anxiety continues to interfere with your life, consider seeking help in whatever form you think is right for you. Some people feel that counseling is helpful; others go straight for a short course of medication treatment. I am not saying that you need help right now, but if it becomes destructive to your life, this may be something to consider. I had a termination of pregnancy 6 weeks ago because of a lethal fetal malformation, and I also find myself more anxious and worried than before. I feel exactly like you- that I have no contol over anything, and this generates a lot of anxiety for me. I also find myself worried about the future and whether I'll get pregnant again, and if I do, whether I'll have a healthy pregnancy and baby this time around. You are definitely not alone. What helps me a little is talking about my fears with my dh; sharing your story and fears on this forum can also be therapeutic if and when you're ready.


stefkay - February 26

hailey, I'm sending big hugs your way....the girls here are wonderful and it's been so helpful to me to just talk about how I feel. I find the other people in my life, though they love me dearly obviously move on from what happened much faster than I do (understandable) so I can't really talk to say my mom, or boyfriend, or best friend about it daily if it pops up because sometimes it just worries them more. Everyone here is going through the same thing and the same waves of grief.


hailey07 - February 26

LanaK, so sorry for your loss.Thanks for your recommendations. Actually I was on a relaxant/antidepressant before I found out about the baby due to abdominal issues. I guess serotonin affects the way your digestive tract works so my doc had me taking Elavil before the baby. Luckily, I have been able to start taking them again, however, these episodes still come. Can;t imagine what they would be like if I weren't taking meds. Wow! I've also sought counseling, however, I having some issues finding the right person to help. So I guess this forum and meds will have to do for now, it gets better every day though. Thanks again, and best of luck for a healthy pregnancy!



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