First Miscarriage Last Week

5 Replies
Jen - July 8

hi guys-this was my second pregnancy and I knew something was wierd. I just didn't "see" myself finishing this pregnancy-is that wierd? my symptoms went away and we could figure a name, it was weird the whole way around and I just could shake the thought of a possible M/C and sure enough it happened. And this was a planned pregnancy-it was awful, painful and I don't know if I want to start ttc again any time soon. I don't know if I could do this again. We saw the heartbeat and everything was supposedly fine. I don't know how to feel.....


LadyJ - July 9

Jen, I'm sorry for your loss and feel your pain. My first pregnancy ended in m/c last week too. There is no "right" way to feel when these things happen. Whatever emotions you go through, that's how you're supposed to feel. Personally, I wept for about 72 hours, almost non-stop. Still feel depressed and am consumed with the memory of the m/c. It's ok if you don't want to ttc for a while. You'll know when you're ready, or you might decide you don't want to go down that road. Only you can make that decision. Just go easy on yourself. It's a horrible loss and you have a right to be angry, scared, sad, numb, whatever. I've read that a m/c is especially tough because you are mourning the loss of your hopes and dreams - you have no memories of the little one to help heal you emotionally, or to provide the closure that most people get when a well-known family member dies. Add to that the sudden drop in hormones to amplify your feelings... well, it's horrible! Know that you'll get through this. You're stronger than you think right now, and while nothing will ever completely fill the hole left in your heart, each day will get a little better and a little less painful.


Stef - July 9

Jen- I am very sorry for your loss. I know how devastated you feel. It is okay to feel the way you are feeling. I had a m/c two months ago, so I understand where you are coming from. You will know when you are ready to try again. It is all in your heart. Remember to take care of yourself, and to talk about what is on your mind. Best wishes to you.


crisy - July 12

Hi Jen. I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried on April 25th. It was my first pregnancy and my first miscarriage. It was also a planned pregnancy. When I lost the baby I was numb with pain. I was crying all the time. All my dreams and hopes had been shattered to pieces. They say it gets easier. I have to say that they are right on some level. Some days are really good and then the grief starts again. The first month is the worse and then slowly you get better days. Actually I have quite a bit of relapses lately but that is because we are ttc again and I'm not getting my period and the pregnancy test is neg. I think my body is just messed up. It's really important to take all the time you need to grieve. I felt like you when I lost the baby I did not want to try right away. I planted a rose bush in the memory of my baby. That hepled me to deal with my grief. Take care and my prayers are with you.


BB - July 24

Hello ladies. I'm so sorry to all of you for your losses. I had a d & e last week, I should have been 10 weeks but two scans showed that it had stopped growing somewhere between 5 and 6 weeks. Last week I was concentrating on the d & e, which wasn't great as I spent 2 days in hospital waiting to have the procedure. Then I got an infection and have two lots of antibiotics, with some unpleasant side effects. So because I've had all the physical symptoms to deal with, it's only the last few days it's only starting to sink in what has happenned and the emotional symptoms are starting to come out. I've been signed off work until next Thurs. However part of me feels that I need to go back to work and get out of the house as I'm starting to get really down, yet part of me feels like I can't cope with the pressures of work and can't even cope with just going and out seeing people. Last week people kept telling me how well I was coping and I thought I was. However I now feel so confused - anyone else feel like this? On one hand I feel so angry and keep getting snappy with my husband, and on the other hand I feel like I want to cry. It doesn't help that 2 of my friends are due around the same time I was. I'm so happy for them yet I'm so sad and angry that this has happenned to me, I know that sounds selfish. I feel like I want this period of my life to be over and I want to get back to normal. Doctor told me to wait around 3 months before trying again, which seems like ages away. I deseperately want to try again yet part of me doesn't want to as I'm so scared of going through this again. I keep thinking what if there's something wrong my me or my husband and that's why the miscarriage happenned? Obviously my close work colleagues know what happenned but my manager left a message the other day saying other people at work are worried about me and keep asking what's happenned and she asked me what I want her to tell them. I don't know whether I would feel better if they knew or not. I'm just so confused about everything. I know time is the only healer, and I truly wish all the best to all of you.


LadyJ - July 24

BB, I'm sorry you have to go through such a difficult loss! I understand what you are going through - 2 of my co-workers are due the same time I was too, and while I'm happy for them, it's very natural to be jealous too. Anger and depression, after all, are part of the stages of dealing with loss. Not long after my m/c one of my co-workers on maternity leave brought her newborn into the workplace. I ran off and hid on another floor to cry before she even got to my area. (My co-workers didn't know I was pregnant, and I didn't want to risk a breakdown when everyone was fawning all over the baby.) It's tough going back to work, but I needed something else to occupy my mind, and moping around the house seemed to make things worse. When I returne to work, one of my co-workers kept asking me if I was feeling better and what was wrong and telling me I still didn't look well. I just told her it was a personal trauma, and that I appreciated her concern, but I would be fine given a little time. I do hope that you will find peace and comfort soon. Know that you are not alone and stronger than you think. "No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it." ~1 Corinthians 10:13



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