Going Crazy Waiting

5 Replies
Jill - April 12

I am so tired of waiting to get my period. I wish it would come so I can feel normal again and start ttc. I want something to look forward to so badly, but it is so hard because I have to wait to even have a normal cycle. It has only been 4 1/2 weeks, but that is long enough. I wake up every day just hoping. And I am getting frustrated with everyone around me who just expect me to be feeling normal, whatever that is. I want so badly to have a baby and I have been waiting for months. But this waiting has been the worst. I try to do stupid things to keep myself going like shopping. But it is only a temporary solution. I can't bear to be around happy pregnant women right now, and I am tired of feeling guilty for that. Especially when it comes to my pregnant friend/coworker. I don't feel that I can be a true friend to her at this time because it is upsetting to be around her and know that she has what I want. I feel so terrible about this everyday, and I struggle with the guilt of being jealous. Other people on this site seem to be so strong and talk to their friends/family etc about their pregnancys. Why can't I just do the same thing. I am sorry because all that I feel that I do any more on this site is complain. I guess I am at a point where I feel that things are at a standstill and am very frustrated. I think I should just keep my distance from my coworker while I am feeling this way. We didn't hang out that much to begin with and I will be starting a new job soon (not because of this situation). Any advice?


kris - April 12

your feelings are normal... and waiting for af is pretty frusterating... and a bit of hormone hell pmt too to endure... it will come and you will feel more positive once you are onto that next cycle. Maybe you should explain to your co-worker that though you are happy for her you have other issues that make it hard to be enthusiastic about her pregnancy and it is nothing personal and she shouldn't feel offended.


stacey - April 12

I totally agree with Kris! I felt the same way, waiting for af the first time (hell, waiting for her the second time(now) too! Also, a while ago I started a strand b/c a girl we hang out w/ announced she was pregnant and was due the same time I was, and Iw ent hysterical- thought I was past it too. Also, a neighbor of mine told me last Sat. that she was pregnant- I didn't know what to do, so I high fived her. What an a__s I was!!! But, it was b/c I wasn't sure how I felt about it...it takes a while, and once you are able to ttc again, you'll feel better. Just know, you're Not the only one, and I couldn't talk to my family about it- I only talked here and to a few close friends, but there's only so much I wanted to burden them with.


Jill - April 12

thanks Kris and Stacey. I know I will feel better after my first cycle. I just have to try to take my mind off of it until then.


Allie - April 12

JIll - I understand how hard it is, and actually keeping a little distance isn't a bad idea. My sis-in-law is due at the end of the month, and now my husnad wants to start spending all of this time with her; it hasn't even occurred to him how hard it is for me. All we talk about with her is her coming child, and when mine was taken away such a short time ago it really hurts. So we go over, spend ours oohing and aahing over her belly, then he wonders why I'm depressed the rest of the day...and while I talk to him about almost anything I won't explain to him how this makes me feel - it's his sister, and he loves her too much for me to put him in that position...I'm strongly considering being sick on Sunday after church (when we are supposed to see her next) - no one would doubt me as I am still recovering....


lanislee - April 12

Hi there. I think you replied(Jill) to one of my posts. I know exactly how hard it is to wait for af. My m/c was Feb. 28, so it's now been a little over 6 weeks since my m/c and no af. It makes me so mad!! I did have some cramps last night and tonight and then today my right side had a few light cramps every once in awhile, so I'm not sure what's going on. My coworker is also ttc and she keeps talking about them trying in a couple weeks. Well, we can't even do that until we get a cycle. Believe me, I know exactly what you mean. People keep telling me, oh it will come, but so far I'm not sure. I keep wondering if something is wrong. How long would you wait to go see the dr?? I'm sorry you're going through this, too. Good luck to you and it's great to know that someone else knows how I feel. Thanks :)



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