Happy For Others Sad For Myself

7 Replies
J - May 13

I'm just in a feeling sorry for myself mood today. TTC boards of people talking about being pg and getting their BFPs. I am happy for them, as they were happy for me. But at the same time. I feel sorry for myself that I am not there NOW. I don't know anyone else that would understand that I am not wishing them unwell, just jealous that it is them and not me. But I can't tell them that, so I can't say anything at all.


Elyse - May 13

J you know today i was at work, i work in diy store and saw a pregnant women looking at some lawn mowers and i just knew she was going to ask me to help ( i was screaming inside) i did all i could to run the other way i just couldn't face her i'ts mad the way it makes us feel and i hate feeling this way to.


Katelyn - May 13

I feel the same way. I am resentful and jealous of pregnant women and wish I was pregnant and sharing their joy. It also seems pregnant women are everywhere. Our thoughts and feelings are normal and only understood by people who have experienced a miscarriage. Just remember that our time will come


Liz - May 13

I had a m/c at thte end of march and my best friend is 3 weeks ahead of where I would have been. We were so happy to be pregnant together. Now it is so hard. I can't tell her that I don't want to hear about her ob visits and that the baby is moving around right now. I think about how I would have been experiencing that right now too. It is very hard and understandable.


jo - May 14

hi liz, im in the same situation as you i lost my baby 20 days ago (not that im counting the days or anything!) and my friend is also pregnant she would of been 2 weeks ahead of me. This may sound horrible to some of you but i havent seen or heard from my friend for a while now so for my sake ive made the decision to stay away from her for the time being, its just to hard to see her or hear about her baby. i understand how you feel liz and it is the worst feeling in the world to loss a baby. im finding it hard to cope with and to be honest im not really sure how im dealing with things right now. im keeping myself buzy and trying not to think about how i feel or what has happened, i feel like im sitting on a fence and watching someone else life but im not its my life. And that is scaring me a great deal. i wish you well liz x


Liz - May 15

Jo, thanks for the note. I'd like to say it gets easier, but it doesn't, it just gets easier to put in the back of your mind. When I read these notes I remember going and getting the ultrasound, I remember the doctor telling me over the phone the bad news... I remember telling my husband. Sometimes I think that the only thing that will make me feel better is to get pregnant again and get all the way through the pregnancy. I hate talking about it with pregnant women. I don't want to burst their bubble, but I don't want to fake being ok with everything either. Patience is so difficult. A friend gave me a quote, I don't remember from who but it goes, "A woman who has had a miscarriage never again has the luxury of thinking that a pregnancy always results in a baby." I wish you well Jo.


Kim - May 18

Dear J...I totally understand. My m/c happened last Wed. I went grocery shopping for my family hoping to get my mind off of things. Each time I saw a woman who was preg. I just thought to myself.."Do you know what a miracle that is?" I have a daughter who is 2 and I look at her and wonder how I took her arrival for granted. It is so hard to be happy for others who are pregnant but you know you should be. We hadn't told very many people b/c I was only 7 weeks along, but even the few I did tell...it is so hard to talk about. I have a childhood friend who just recently took the morning after pill because she and her husband were worried that they were careless. I am so mad at her right now.


crisy - May 18

Hi J. I know the feeling. Last week I was working at the vaccination clinic and a mother of a child that I was vaccinating asked me to do a pregnancy test for her. The test was positive and I was very happy for her but very sad for myself. The mother did not appear very happy in the beginning but changed her att_tude afterwards. The same day when I went home I saw my next door neighbour with a big belly. I just lost it and I was crying. I felt very bad for reacting that way afterwards, but hearing your story makes me feel more normal. I am very sorry for your loss.I hope that we can all get pregnant very soon and I hope we will all have healthy babies. Take care.



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