Help So Scared

15 Replies
stefkay - January 16

Hi, I really hoped that I wouldn't have to come here, but here I am. I've had 3 m/c in the past and the last one was almost 2 years ago. I found out I was pg in early dec. So happy, but first two u/s showed me lagging almost 2 weeks. I worried but dr. didn't b/c we saw a strong hb on the second. I went back today being 9 weeks (my set back date) and they did an u/s and the baby stopped growing at 6w and there was no hb today. I feel numb and sick at the same time. I am so scared too because I chose for now not to have the d&c because I've had 2 and don't want to risk the scarring or any more problems for the future. The dr. is testing blood for chromosomal problems b/c this has all happened with the same partner. I would rather not have surgery so I'm opting for a natural m/c but now i am so scared of the pain. I don't know when it is going to happen and where and I have no spotting or cramps or anything. I don't know what to do...


Ella82 - January 16

Omgosh stefkay i am so sorry to hear what you are going through my heart goes out to you. I had a missed m/c in early november at 10wks 5days my first scan was at 8wks 1 day and baby was 6 weeks one day i went back and had another scan 2weeks later baby was still the same. When i got home i started spotting (maybe cos it was an internal scan) I saw my doctor the next day and advised me against a d&c and said to wait and m/c naturally (this was on a friday) he said that i should m/c on the weekend because i already started spotting if i hadn't m/c to call him on the monday. Well i spotted for 4 days thurs - sunday and monday morning i called the doctor and he arranged to have another scan because i hadnt m/c'd, that day i had the worst cramps ever more like contractions. Earlier in the day they were further apart then were alot closer and alot more painful in the afternoon (i had to keep a head pad on my stomach to ease the pain) well i waiting for my scan that afternoon at the radiologist I just had to go to the bathroom and pa__sed everything in there - it wasnt painful just the cramps before were. I do think if you can to try and m/c naturally (the worst part is not knowing when it will happen) but if it goes for too long you may have to have a d&c. I feel like my body healed quite quickly after the natural m/c. Once again i am so sorry,


Ella82 - January 16

Btw i keet taking vitamin c tablets i heard it speeds up the process, as sad as it was to do that i couldnt have my baby inside me knowing that it had stopped growing.


stefkay - January 16

Thank you Ella, I saw a post you had put up and knew you went through this recently and was actually going to post this addressed to you! :-) I thank you for responding. I am so scared and don't want to take any medication for the pain, but am just scared right now. I've had some hellacious cramps after the other 2 d&cs, but it was bearable. I just am scared not know when or what it will feel like. It's been a while. The dr. also wants me to keep what comes out (i shudder as I type this), but I want to have it tested too so I can have some piece of mind. If anything good can come out of this it is to find out why this keeps happening to us. My tests so far have all come back good and I was on progesterone suppositories so the dr. doesn't think it is hormonal right now.


duckiec - January 16

I am so sorry for your loss stefkay- I was on the other forums worrying with you since our experiences were similar... I made the "forum switch" on 1/5. I opted for the d&c but it took many days before I fit in the scheule. Until I went in for it... no cramps, no pain, no spotting... and all my PG symptoms were still there too. I was almost looking forward to my surgery (if that makes any sense) because at least I had a better idea of what would happen when, since my body apparently had no clue. Again Im so sorry.


Ella82 - January 16

Hi stefkay i hope you do find answers i am so sad for you right now. All i took for the pain was regular pain killers but i dont think it really helped, the worst thing was that i was at work when i had most of the pain i am glad that the actually m/c happened when dh was with me. As for what came out (sorry if this is tmi) was two large clots almost the size of my fist and lots of blood i hated flushing everything away. That was the only day where i had heaps of pain the bleeding after was on and on for about 10-12days and was like a heavy period. Even though i went through all that pain it was better that i m/c naturally. Please keep in touch with me i am here for you x


Melissabp - January 16

Hi Stefkay, I hated to barge in but I know what you are going thru. I have had 4 m/c since August 2004 the last one was 11/28/06. We have no children and are both 37. The last loss I was 10 wks and we saw a hb of 134 bpm at 6 wks 2 days. According to my lmp I should have been 7 wks 1 day. Dr said not to worry since there was such a strong hb. We were so thrilled as we had not seen a hb with the other 3. Needless to say I woke up spotting and went straight to the dr. The ultrasound confirmed no growth or hb since somewhere around 6 wks so the hb must have stopped shortly after the first ultrasound. I had D & E's with the first 2 and natural the 3rd one. I had an HSG done after the 3rd one and it confimed that I did not have any scar tissue so I chose to have the 4th one naturaly too because I didn't want to risk scarring. I had to beg for pain medicine because I knew how hard the pain would be. I took 2 vicoden and the pain started that afternoon. The vicoden didn't even touch the pain! It was terrible! I stayed home from work that day but went back the next day. I have a heartless boss. For two days everytime I stood up blood and goo would gush out(sorry tmi). I did not pa__s everything until 3 days after it started. I went back for a checkup a week later and found out that I was anemic. I had quit taking my vitamins when the bleeding started because I was so upset and frustrated. Don't stop taking them like I did. They will help your blood levels. Based on all the bleeding I had I probably should have had the D & E but I am glad I didn't now it's over. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope things go quickly and easily for you. Have you been to an RE? We went the first the end of December. My ob/gyn has tested for everything except for FHS levels which the RE will check on day 3 of my next cycle. I started on 1/1/07 but that was the first one after the m/c so we will wait until the next one. I hope the RE can shed some light on a problem. My ob/gyn thinks I just have bad luck.


stefkay - January 17

Hi, Melissa, what is an RE? I've read people post about them, but not sure what they do? I have insurance, but not a lot of money and I don't think insurance covers infertility stuff. I am hoping the testing done now will be covered due to the fact I'm miscarrying. Nothing has happened yet. Last night i had some cramping, but it felt like what I thought was "normal" cramping all along my pg so far. Nothing today. No spotting, anything. I stopped using the progesterone suppositories the day before yesterday. I started having all these thoughts this morning like "what if they didn't see everything correctly on the u/s because they did it on my stomach?" I had the other 2 earlier ones done v____ally. I could see it on the screen though and it looked pretty clear. They said there was no flicker of h/b and i guess the u/s machine picks that up and measures it, alas I don't think there was one. I can't torture myself this way. I started taking 1000mg of vitamin C chewables daily starting yesterday. I just want it to be over with now...


stefkay - January 18

Just an update:...I'm feeling better today as it's been awful lately but I think i am coming to terms with everything. I finally got a call from the specialist I saw Tuesday when I found out the pg ended. She is really nice and sent me to the lab for a ton of tests to start to find the problem. Well, for one she helped me decide to go ahead with a d&c which hopefully will be scheduled for next week b/c probably due to the progesterone I was on, my body didn't recognize it was over. I will rebound more quickly from it and won't have to try to save the tissue myself (I just can't go there right now). BUT, what good has come so far out of this is that in all of my tests so far she tested for lots of things like clotting issues, genetics, etc. And all came back ok except that (bear with me as I had her explain this a couple of times due to the terminology I don't understand fully how it all works) I have a mutation in one of the genes (they come in pairs) that metabolizes folic acid (she said this is the MTHFR thing--i see a post on it, but it won't open for me). Apparently I'm not metabolizing or using it correctly? I can see where that could cause problems early on in pg. She said what is good is that if it is the only problem I will just have to take extra folic acid along with vitamins B12 and B6. Sadly I was already taking those vitamins before I got my bfp, but stopped when I found out because I started the regular prenatal. Oh well, can't worry about that now. After the d&c they will test the tissue and then go on and test my luteal phase for a defect and FSH levels, etc. once I have my first couple of cycles. I am so glad to just be finding out the problems. I started thinnking I'd never want to get pg again if I did I'd literally have a nervous breakdown waiting for a m/c.


duckiec - January 18

Stefkay- well that isn't "good" news if you know what I mean, but I imagine there is some relief, and maybe some hope in having some answers? And it sounds like they aren't stopping with this initial info, and continuing to test, which is good to hear that they really want to know what's going on. It doesnt make the pain go away, I know... but it sounds like you've got a better light for the future? Keep us posted!


Ella82 - January 18

Hi Stefkay i am glad to hear that you are feeling better and have made a decision on what you will be doing. Good to know that most tests have come back ok . I hope everything goes well and keep us up to date. Take care x


stefkay - January 18

nope, not good news, but actually it is something that can be treated somewhat from what the dr. said and from what I have read so far. I found out now that it IS a clotting disorder also, so well see. I was taking baby aspirin (which they recommend for this) until a couple of days after bfp but quit because i was spotting. Ugh...oh well, just getting some answers finally. :-)


DownbutnotOUT - January 19

im soooo sorry to hear about your loss I experienced something similar myself in May. I am glad that the problem can be treated so next pregnancy will go as it should. Missed m/c's are the worst and I hope the best for you! take care


suze42 - January 24

Stephkay. I just fell upon your post re your m/c. I am so so so sorry...we chatted back and forth on the 1st tri forum and I just feel for you. I had 3m/c myself and know the feelings youre having. I m/c all of them naturally also to avoid a procedure and scarring. It wasnt the best...but i got thru it. You will too...theres no other way to put it, it sucks. Bless you honey...stay healthy..((big hugs))


stefkay - January 24

Hi suze! How are you doing? Thank you, I'm doing much better now as it is all over. I think the waiting to m/c was the worst. I know I can try again. I just want to see why it happend if possible before even thinking about that. Can I ask if you know why you had the 3 m/c? Did your dr. ever test? I am getting so much info from this site and others that I can use when I see the dr. again. They got the fetal tissue and are doing testing also. I won't know anything for several weeks though.


suze42 - January 24

Stephkay, you sound so glad! My first m/c was the ole blighted ovum..then 2 mos later got pg and had healthy DS4, then m/c at 9wks and m/c at 7-8wks...I wasnt able to have the tissue tested the last time b/c I m/c at home (I didnt know I could save tissue and bring it in..mentally not sure if I could have)...So I dont know reason. Dr. thinks it was just old eggs, as I was 40 and 41 when I m/ could have been trisomy or another Chromo disorder. So in my situation you just try until it sticks. Im 15wks and just heard h/b yesterday...always a big relief...Its really hard to get past the feeling that something is going to go wrong..but every week, I get a little more confident. Plus this is IT for me...Im too old to keep doing this! LOL. I know you are going to just have to keep trying and beat the odds. Hang in there sweetie, you are not got alot of sisters here that have shared the same experiences! :)



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?