I Am So Crushed

21 Replies
DestinyMyAngel - March 13

for those of you who know my story, I just found out my babys hight was 23.43 inches and it just breaks my heart bc she was so healthy so healthy I just can't believe they killed my perfect little baby...They've also just informe that we may be (may be) ent_tled to 10,000 dollars Are they f#$$%$g kidding me? do they think that they can put a price on my baby? do they think my baby was worth 10,000 dollars? I swear I feel like going after them and strangle them how dare they !!!!!!!!!!! If there is a God and I like to really believe that there is a God up there I beg him to please make them pay for what they did to my Baby and our family, they've completely Ruind our lives they've taken the only and most important little Person in our lives..12 years, 12 years of heartache and strugles and sacrifices to have a baby and when we did this is what happend I am still 4 months later in disbelief , 7lbs 6oz 23.43 inches of pure perfection, pure beauti , extremely healthy I swear at times I just want to just go and e with her I just don't want to wait for turn to come I just want to go and be with her, this is just way more that I can handle, I just don't seem to be able to find my life or a reason to live anymore my heart is beating but I don't feel it is as if it dead , numb I just cant take not having her with me..So sorry to vent


AllieP. - March 13

It breaks my heart to read your post. I just don't even have the words to express how angry I am for you. All of the people involved in the delivery should lose their jobs/licenses to practice. I do hope you can somehow ruin their reputation somehow to prevent other people from using those doctors!


DestinyMyAngel - March 13

I plan to as soon as they say go I plan to take matter in my own hands and ruin thir career I don't care what it takes...thankyou for responding..


DestinyMyAngel - March 13

On top of everything exactly today 1 year ago is when I tested with a +++++ hpt test with our Angel......


AllieP. - March 13

I would be walking around town or standing outside the hospital and every pregnant person i saw i'd hand a flier to with your story and what the doctors did. Heck every one I saw that looked to be in child bearing years i'd hand it to. No one deserves to go through what you did. I can only imagine how hard this must be especially today marking the day to the year when you found out you were pregnant. It makes me sick to my stomach to know there are such incompetent doctors out there!


beebee4mee - March 13

I haven't heard the whole story, but I am SOOOOOO sorry for your loss!!!! To lose a child to unexplained reasons is hard enough, but to have it be due to something like that is completely heartbreaking!!! I'm so sorry, I don't even know what else I can say. I'm so sorry for your loss and pain!!


Judi Sarah - March 13

i read your post in the other thread, once again i am so sorry for your loss. i know you want to be with your daughter, but you can't be. even though you are sad without her and furious about what happened, remember that your baby is in the best placce anyone could be - heaven. and listen i know you don't know me, but i wish you all the best. i know you are depressed, rightfully so, but please seek a__sistance of a support group that you can meet with. not just the one here. i wouldn't want you hurting yourself in a state of anger or depression. even if has been 4 months, you are allowed to grieve for as long as you need/want.


april baby - March 13

DestinyMyAngel - I am also on the CS and I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry. I am actually at work right now crying for you and the pain you are going through. I could not imagine. I want to help you in anyway that I can as I am sure most people do. I really hope you stay around and fight for your daughter and for what they have taken from you. I also hope that you live for your daughter as she is watching over you and hoping that you will make the right decisions so you can be with her one day when the time comes. Please take care of yourself and know that my thoughts are with you.


meredith880 - March 13

May i ask what happened to your baby? I lost my son at 2 1/2 years old. I know what your going through.


Judi Sarah - March 13

MEREDITH - i am sorry for your loss. that is horrible. may i ask what happened? as for Destiny, from my understanding of anohter post, at the time of her delivery, Destiny wanted a csection b/c she felt the baby was in distress but the drs insisted against it and did not perform a csection. in the end, Destiny's baby pa__sed on b/c of the distress? obviously Destiny can tell you more details b/c, as i mentioned above, all i know is from another thread.


BeckyBunny - March 13

Get a lawyer. Sue their a__ses off. Tell the media. The media loves drama, and that's heart breaking. I don't know your exact story, but no one should have to go through that. That they would offer you $10,000 for a LIFE is insulting. I am so sorry for your loss. I have m/c several times early on, but I can't imagine the pain of losing a healthy baby.


meredith880 - March 13

Judi Sarah: I just wrote this huge thing to you and it erased it....so ill try again....I got pregnant with Bryant 3 weeks after my 15th birthday. I was to young to have a baby really but my parents had just gotten divorced and i wanted someone to love. I had preslampsia and had him at 36 weeks. They tried to incude me but it didnt work so i had an emergency c section because he was getting destressed. As seen as he was delivered there was something wrong. He was limp and wasnt breathing. I kissed him on the head and they took him straight to the NICU. I was so drugged i didnt see him for 2 days. He got better after a month in the NICU and we went home. At 2 months old i went to a starwars movie and took him along. He never woke up to eat and my dad was a parametic and looked at him and we went staright to the emergency room. They started shaving his head and stickinf IVS everywhere. They lifelighted us to seattle childrens hospital and he was by then in kidney and liver failure. After two weeks of testing they round out he had HLH, a genetic blood disorder that me and his dad both carried. His dad is Native American and im white. Its a 1 in a million chance we would both carry it. If only one of us did he could carry it but it wouldent affect him. The real name for it is HEMOPHAGACITIC LYMPHO HYSTIOSYTOSIS. He started chemo right away and then had a bone marrow transplant at 6 months old. He then got RSV and because he didnt have an ammune system he almost died. Thats where the lung damage started. Then he got cold after cold even though i never took him ANYWHERE. And he had lung bleeds and lung bleeds and it just had more and more damage. We lived in seattle childrens hospital for 2 years of his 2 1/2 years of life. But i love him and id do anything for him. They had us come for some tests and wanted to intibate him to look at his lungs. (put a tube in for him to breathe) and they couldent take it out. He couldent breathe on his own anymore. After a week of more lung bleeds he peacefully pa__sed into the arms of jesus. I miss him so much. Thats a very SHORT verison to say the least of that story and if you want to know more or add me if you have a myspace? my url is w w w dot myspace dot c o m slash meredith880 and my last name is scott if you need that to add me. I have alot more info and pics of him on there. Thanks


julie2007 - March 13

VICKY -- i again am so very sorry for the horrific pain you must be going thru - no words can express how awful i feel for you. please know that your baby angel is watching over you from heaven above and wouldn't wnt anything to happen to her momma. please - please seek counselling -- not just talking to us via the computer -- there are grief counselors specially trained to help you adjust to the pain and saddness you are feeling. it is completely normal to be so sad, and they can help you work through it. not forget your baby - but help deal with the pain and suffering you are feeling. united way has a special phone number ion youra area - dial 211 -- (or possibly 1-800-346-6185 )and they will help you as well. the jewish family community services ctr offers grief counseling in your area and if you are of a different faith or prefer a different way to go you can call them and ask for a referral 904-448-1933 - they are the only ones in the area that i know of off the top of my head. -- i am so very concerned for you -- especially when you say you can't find a reason to live anymore.


ROBYN - March 13

Vicky sweety i know you are devastated but doing something like wanting to be with your daughter right now is not the answer your daughter would want you to live. You DO have so much to live for none of us can fathom what you are dealing with. Have you thought of grief counseling i am sure in your area there are support groups for people who have lost their children. Here is some info i found in Jacksonville: Jacksonville - Suicide Prevention Center United Way 2-1-1 is the suicide intervention and prevention helpline for this region and the call center is certified by the American a__sociation of Suicidology. Call center specialists are also certified and trained to handle crisis and suicide-related calls. Jacksonville calling area : 1-904-632-0600 Dial 2-1-1, in 10 Northeast Florida counties. They are: Duval, St. Johns, Clay, Baker, Na__sau, Columbia, Suwannee, Hamilton, Bradford and Putnam counties. For Duval County: 1-866-318-0211


LN030905 - March 13

Hi! I have spoke to you before but it has been a while. I cannot believe they said you may be ent_tled to that money. If someone would have said that to me I probably would have murdered them by now. That is just insulting. Like money can make any of this better. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. I really do feel like you should keep on sharing your story...have you contacted the media yet? You should do so..and tell them everything. Let them know what is going on..keep them informed. Have you ever checked the Dr's background? Honey, there IS a God and these ppl will answer someday for the things they have done. Keep fighting for your baby girl!!! Have you spoken to a counselor? You really do need to speak to someone about your feelings..I cannot imagine anyone in your position feeling any different but you must go on and fight for your daughter. I am praying for you!


Jessicab3 - March 14

Vicky honey you get on here and vent as often as you need, we will always be here for you. My husband and I saw a grief counselor this past Monday and I will be going back each week. It does help to be able talk through your pain. I hope you are seeing someone as well but know we are always here for you.


Judi Sarah - March 14

VICKY - how are you feeling today? i haven't heard from you on the other post or here, i hope you are ok. please chime in. MEREDITH - my God, that is terrible, i cannot imagine the pain you must have gone through and still go through. i am so sorry for your loss. thank you so much for sharing all that with me. how long ago was this? i would love to see pictures of your angel bryant, but i am not on myspace. are you on facebook? i'll take a look. are you ttc again now?



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