I Feel Miserable

8 Replies
megans - November 15

I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks in may, not pregnant again and now my neighbour who was pregnant at the same time has just had her baby. I cry when I think about it and I am sitting in the house with the curtains closed so I don't have to see her visitors! Is this normal?

 

maybebaby2007 - November 18

Megans, it is absolutely normal!! I've had 2 m/c and am still waiting and praying for my healthy child. It's a loss which can never be forgotten. My baby could have been 1 year old one. I am not even able to tell you how many pregnancies and new babies the world has welcomed since. Please don't despair. You will get pregnant again eventually and once you'll have a healthy baby the pain of this loss won't be as bad. When I get really jealous about the other people, I try to tell myself, I don't care how many babies they have, because they are not my babies. So please don't punish yourself for these feeling. They are healthy, normal feelings!

 

smmom2 - November 18

MEGAN...what you are feeling is grief....and all the world seems to be getting pregnant or having a baby...it is just reminding you of what you lost. It is normal to feel sad and not want to be around it. Even when my son was born and my edd came around for the baby I lost, I was still very sad, and still think about her a lot. You will never forget the baby you lost, but you can move forward. Try to embrace your neighbor and her baby....eventually...it may be a step towards healing. It may remind you of what you so badly want...a healthy baby. Have you been ttc again? Have you seen a dr about it...and what are they telling you??

 

littlecow67 - November 23

hi hun, im sorry for your loss, i know exactly how you feel as we all do, iv had 2 m/c in the last 7 mths, in the family iv had a nephew & neice born found it very had 2 accept at 1st, but it does actually help, go n c ur neighbour n the baby, have a cuddle it will hurt but the pain of loss does ease. the feelings you hav r normal. i wish you all the luck in the world, don't try 2 hard though as iv found out the more you want n the more you try the less it's likely to happen, bcos u get to stressd, take care keep in touch,

 

megans - November 23

Thanks for your answers. Still have not been to see my neighbour but I am starting to think about it a bit more rationally. About ttc, not really been trying but I'm now 5 days late so maybe...

 

nicsibling - November 26

Megans, I know how that feels, friend I met in my lamaze cla__s with our first babys got pregnant a second time as I did too. I encouraged her to have a second. We both are 9 weeks pregnant, and I just found out my babys heartbeat stopped at 6/7 weeks. Was not expecting this at all!! She was not sure at first to tell anyone, I was more hopeful but was waiting for some reason for my 1st dr. visit to tell my family. She's gaining weight and is well and here I have to schedule a D&C. I feel miserable even though I have my 2yr. old, and I am hurting for my loss. I still can't believe this. My husband is a little reluctant to try again, but I cant imagine when she comes to term and I will be empty handed.

 

stacyr - December 5

Megans - I lost my baby about three months along - (11 1/2 weeks) - missed m/c - when I called my friend to tell him about the m/c - he blurted out that his girll was 9 weeks along before I could get the news out - It is now four months later ( I should have been 7 months along) and I am still with problems - not able to ttc again - my body still hasn't gotten a period - anyways point being - I find that can't even talk to my friend (who I've always been very close with) because it hurts too much...I don't want to see his girl at all - then I feel guilty about it - so in answer to your question - yes - I think it's absolutely normal - I'm trying to make peace with it myself and be happy for them - but it's really hard knowing I should be two weeks ahead of her...I wish you the best!

 

aelliott - January 1

This type of grief is universal to any loss of a child. When my firstborn died at 2 1/2 years, and we had to walk out of the hospital without her, I saw this father carrying his daughter with curly blond hair just like my angels to a car and I wanted to scream it hurt so bad. Then, almost ten months later I find out I'm expecting again only to m/c at four weeks and then discover that my single sister in-law is two weeks away from a due date with a baby that she plans to give up for adoption. It's very maddening to be surrounded with people who have babies my firstborn's age or are expecting like I want to be and not to have what I want and it makes me all the more aware of my losses. Sometimes, avoiding the pain until you can handle is the best strategy, and sometimes you just have to swallow hard and face it to find out that you really do have the strength to move on. My prayers and wishes for the best in you time of hardship.

 

stacyr - January 3

aelliot - so sorry for your losses!!

 

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