I M Just So Sad

24 Replies
Melissa - October 31

Hello again. I posted earlier today as well. I had a miscarriage last week. 8 weeks pregnant, 1st pregnancy. I just felt like venting a little. I wish I could get mad about it. Being angry is so much easier than being sad and weepy. I came back to work today, thinking it would help and all I want to do is go home. I know it just happened and time will help. I just don't feel special anymore. Even though it was early in the pregnancy and I wasn't showing or feeling the fetus move, I still felt like there was someone with me. Not that I felt lonely before the pregnancy, it just that when I learned I was pregnant I felt like I had this little partner with me all the time. It was fun. And now I feel lonely. My fiance is trying to make me feel better but I know he is sad too and needs support as much as I do. I do not know how to give him any support at all. So I walk around feeling guilty on top of everything else because I can't be supportive to him! Miscarriage is a very strange and lonely feeling. I am looking forward to my hormones coming back down and balancing out because I really hate the emotional downs of all this. Hopefully when the hormones balance out I will feel a little better.


john - October 31

Wlcome to the club..When my wife m.c at 14wks..Boys I feel down..Now I just look at some photos taken when my wife was pregnant, and how happy we were back then..It bring sadness to me..I can remember everywhere we when, we would said it's 3 of us...Looking forward to be a parent...then m.c, then we out of the loop...Now seeing everyone pregnant, with kids around us, it's hard..but life goes on...It's also hard we been TTC but no luck so far (3rd cycle)..only able to TTC once in each ovulation ycle...Anyone I hope God will give us a child soon...Just give it time, and ur emotion will heal..then u and ur fiance can look forward to TTC again..


angel - October 31

i am so sorry :( i had a miscarriage last year i know exactly how u r feeling :( it will get better with time... if u ever want to vent to someone plez email me its [email protected] good luck and god bless!!!


Niki - Aust. - November 1

Dear Melissa. If I could reach thru this screen & hug you I would. I can not relate to what you are going thru, however your words made me cry, which is strange since as I said I can not relate to your pain. I don’t know if this is the right or wrong thing to say. …But even at 8 weeks your baby had and still has a spirit and a soul. Your baby was and remains a part of you and your fiancé; therefore your baby’s spirit lives on with you both. Your baby is there with you in spirit as your angel. He/She will always be there looking down on both of you. You will never be alone. I am not really a religious person, but in heaven there is another perfect Angel. Your perfect Angel who will always be with you………… With love and Hugs xo xo xo – Nikki – Australia.


Niki - Aust. - November 1

Dear John. I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending baby dust thru to you and your wife; I hope that you are blessed VERY soon with a healthy happy little one. You sound like you would make a wonderful, caring & loving father…. I am sure that god will hear your prayers & as you said in your post, god will give you a child. As I said before BABY DUST to both of you…and to everyone here who has lost their precious babies & to all TTC. Love and Hugs xo xo xo – Nikki – Australia.


Jen - November 3

Melissa, I can understand your pain. I'm on the verge of tears right now. I had a m/c a month ago and its not getting much better. I have to wait 3 months before I can ttc again. My best friend just found out that shes pregnant. So did my husbands best friend. I'm being selfish right now but I am just so sad. I feel like nobody understands. I feel so mad at the world. Yet I know I have lots to be thankful for. I don't want to be mad or sad. I want to be excited for them and move on. Some days are better than others. Hormones fluctuating don't help a bit!!


To Jen from melissa - November 3

Hi, I am sorry about your recent miscarriage. Can I ask why your doctor said to wait 3 months before ttc? My doctor said wait one period and then I can try after that. Why do all doctors say different things? How do we know who's right??????


Amy - November 3

Melissa - I am sorry for your loss. Know that everyone here can relate to your feelings. They will change on a daily basis for a while but it will get better. I think I really started to feel better after I got my first period. I still get sad about the baby that should have been, etc. It is hard not too. I am now 24 weeks pregnant and I look at small infants and think, I should have had my baby by now (i m/c at 12 weeks). I think you due date is something you always remember regardless when you get pregnant again. ~ Know that you aren't alone - there are so many of us that have experienced a m/c. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find the support here that you need. xoxox~~~~~ Melissa - I asked my doctor that question.. he told me to wait a month to date the pregnancy accurately. When I asked him why some doctors say 3 months he said they go off the recommendation of old birth control pills -- that is takes your body 3 months for your hormones to regulate. Most doctors do not believe this to be the case -- hence the one month. Also, even with birth control these days, you do not have to wait 3 months. .. Hope that helps - at least that is the reason he gave me.


sas - November 3

I also had a m.c a month ago today and i still feel very low. I can't imagne this sad feeling will ever leave me. I am so desperate to get pregnant again and I hate the fact that I am now becoming obsessed about it. My only problem is....... one I haven't even ovulated yet and two I have been doing loads of research on the net about miscarriage and I think that because I ovulated so late when I got pregnant (day 21) this is the reason for my miscarrige. So next time if i go past day 17 and have not yet ovulated I am going to stop trying for that month. so now It's a very long waiting game for me. Does anyone have any idea what day they ovulated on when they got pregnant or is this theory not true?


... - November 3

sas what day you ovulate on has nothing to do with miscarriage...some cycles are just longer than others, so you will sometimes ovulate later, just like some cycles are shorter than others so sometimes you ovulate sooner. Your timing and your body's timing had nothing to do with your miscarriage. The majority of miscarriages happen because of chromosomal abnormalities, with nothing that can be done to prevent them. I wish you the best of luck, I hope you conceive soon!


Jen - November 4

Mel- the reason I have to wait is b/c I had low progesterone levels during the pregnancy. I'm afraid the same thing would happen again if I was to get pregnant. I have to wait til my second cycle and on day 23 go have my hormones tested. Hopefully after that I can take the hormones and try again in the 3rd month. If it wasn't for that I would try again sooner.


Jen - November 4

Mel - how are you today?


cindy - November 5

Imagine carring your baby to 28 weeks and then losing it. I had the nursery halfway done, her closet full, and her name picked out. I looked full term. This was my first pregnancy. We lost her in June. Sometimes I wish I could have had an early term loss. Maybe it would have been easier. I am glad though, that I got to hold her and know her in that way, but it sometimes haunts me. Reliving all of that. Reliving the day when I went in for the C-section and delivered her. I miss her every day. She was my life. I don't know how I have made it this long, or how I am going to make it any further without her. I don't know what to do??????:(


Mindy - November 5

Cindy- I am so so sorry for the loss of your baby!! I can't imagine going through that. My loss was at 12 wks and I saw my baby almost every week since wk 5 on ultrasound with a strong heartbeat and measuring days ahead but I also had a hematoma that washed the pregnancy out. It was so heartbreaking to see that one week my baby was fine and the next, nothing was there. Every time I get down about it, I remind myself that if the baby had to go, then it is better early then later in the pregnancy. Again I am so sorry for your loss and please post to us if you are feeling bad and wanting someone to talk to. There are some other women on this board that have been through the same thing you have gone through. Good Luck and God Bless!!


To Jen from melissa - November 7

Hi Jen, I am doing better today. Thanks for answering my question. The thing is, I also had low progesterone (not too too low) and was taking v____al suppositories. Still, he tells me I can ttc after one period. I can't understand why doctors have so many different things to say. I worry because I cannot go through this again!


Jen - November 7

Melissa- since I m/c I have read that if you spot before your period then it may be a sign of low prog. I spot for a week b/f my A/f comes and I think this is unusual. I'm not sure why my dr. didn't catch it. I started suppositories in my 4th week. I carried until my 7the week and found the hb had stopped at 8 weeks. I cannot go through this again. I really hope that my levels are low and I will start taking the suppos. a lot sooner. Maybe this time they will work. Otherwise, I'm scared b/c I don't know what the problem is.


Jen - November 7

Melissa- I've heard that your prog. levels drop when your body starts to m/c so maybe thats why yours were a little low. I hate saying stuff that I read b/c I'm not A DR. I just thought it might help you figure stuff out.



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