In The Waiting Stage Anyone Else

54 Replies
duckiec - January 29

There are plenty of really helpful, supportive women and topics, but didnt seem to be any recent threads for people whose m/c were recent... and are now waiting (like I am!) to see what comes next and when. Technically I guess I'm waiting for AF, but there isn't much I can do but guess when that will come, so in the meantime I'm trying to figure out what our TTC plan may be. Anybody else in the same position?

 

DaBonkElsMe - January 29

Hey duckiec. I am sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage on Thursday. I was only 5 weeks pregnant so it was more of a chemically pregnancy than a true m/c. How far along were you? Did you have a d&c? I am going to the doctor in about an hour for another exam and to hear the results of the blood work I got on Friday and Sunday. Did you have blood taken? They told me it was so they could see if my hormone levels are back to normal. My doctor said if the hormone levels are back to normal, we could start to ttc again right away. Does this seem right to you? I don't know much about this. I did not need a D&C and today she will be confirming that I do not need one. Sorry for all the questions, I don't know much about this. I will let you know what my doctor says today.

 

duckiec - January 29

Howdy- sorry about your loss as well. At my 12 wk exam u/s my dr. discovered a missed m/c. I had a D&C several days later. It wasn't until my follow up appt. last week that they took blood- I believe they took it to confirm there was no PG hormone left, as you said. My dr. said 2-3 months to TTC again.. he started to say something about "well becuase you had the D&C.." then got interrupted then never finished the thought before he ran out! Arg! But since it was very early for you (devastating nonetheless) your hormones might take less time to get back on track. I've also read that you get sc___ped pretty thing with the D&C... that it might longer for your body to heal than if it happens naturally. I don't know- I guess I have a lot of questions too! Let us know how it goes today.

 

Iwant8 - January 29

Hi Duckiec. My m/c was October 17th. My doctor told me we could try again in December, but really, I just was confused and scared to try again. I had to have the chemo shot Methotrexate to kill the remaining tissue even after a D&C. I have been worried about the drug still being in my system. I am starting Clomid tomorrow and hoping for the best. I am still scared, unsure and yet I am cautiously excited too. When was your m/c? i hope all goes well for you. Baby dust!

 

stefkay - January 29

Hi duckie, I m/c naturally on Jan 23. By lmp I would have been almost 11 weeks, but the u/s (my 3rd) showed the hb stopped along with growth sometime after the 2nd u/s where we saw a strong hb-that u/s was at about 6 weeks and the baby stopped growing around 6.5. I was/am devastated still. I'm feeling better now that the m/c is done with and I only bled from Tuesday to Yesterday, so not even a week. My temps are back down pretty low, but I have a bunch of testing the dr. is going to do, so I really shouldn't even think about ttc for at least a couple of months. My dbf isn't wanting to try at all. I'm just going to see how the healing goes and we'll have a lot of talking to do to see if we are ready . This was my 4th m/c. Dabonk, I am so sorry you had to go through that. 2 of my m/c (the two in between) were what could technically be called "chemical pregnancies", but it hurt nonetheless. You get sooooo excited when you get that positive test, then it crashes when you get your period. Has yours come yet? I remember those periods as being very heavy and pretty painful (not like this natural m/c though--that was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy :-) {{HUGS}}

 

duckiec - January 29

My D&C was on 1/9, and thankfully I finally stopped bleeding this past Sat. Now that I can wear real undies again, I find I feel a little better, too, and I'm now I'm anxious to have a plan to of when we will start TTC, even if it isn't now. My Dr said 2-3 mo, but the appt. was so quick I couldn't really clarify why. Sticky baby dust iwant8! Stefkay- I'm so sorry you had to go through that but glad its over. Keep us posted.

 

stefkay - January 29

Hey, I am feeling the same way about wantiing to try again. What is the hardest to deal with is the excitement that I felt when pregnant. It's like I had this whole new future to look forward to. I was happy before the pregnancy, so why shouldn't I be happy now? I didn't need that to fulfill our life, but once a gift like that is handed to you, then taken away it is amazing how attached I grew to the idea. I guess that makes me want it more now. Noone can understand except those of us who have gone through it. My boyfriend can't understand and that makes it harder since we live together. He tries to comfort me, but sometimes I just need to cry. Maybe we can start a thread here for us who just m/c recently and who want to ttc soon? I'd love to have a place to check in and talk to you and anyone else who wants to join in about the fears, etc. of starting over. I've had so many let downs, yet I think looking forward to trying again gives me some hope. I even started charting temps the day I m/c because it actually made me feel better like I was working towards something, you know? Just an idea :-)

 

duckiec - January 29

That was really the thread I was going for- I guess I didn't name it right! I feel the same way. about being excited for the future, and the possibilities, then... lost. Empty. My DH and I are no strangers to having things taken away (house fire, then flood, then an awful insurance nightmare that lasted for years and we lost nearly everything left), but somehow I thought this one was mine, ours, to keep. Guess not this time. ANYway... yes! I'm hoping to keep in touch with a group of ladies about in the same place now so we can help each other move to better one.

 

stefkay - January 30

lol...yes, after I wrote my post I reread the thread t_tle and thought that is a perfect name. We can just use this one and if it gets too long make a new part. Today's a new day. Some are better than others and the past weekend was harder I think because I wasn't as busy. This morning I have to go give blood though at OB's office to make sure my levels are back down to zero or close. Last Tues. they were at about 860 (the day the m/c actually happened). I wish they'd get the tests back from the tissue, but she said that would be up to 4 weeks, so I don't expect to hear anything more for a while...

 

DaBonkElsMe - January 30

Godmorning girls! Stefkay, i was sorry to see you over here! Well, I hope things start looking up for you soon! I am looking towards the future with ope as well, I have been looking at this whole thing as a positive in that now I know we can do it!! One problem i am having though is that I think my doctors are idiots. How does one find a good doctor? I had a good ob gyn where I lived three years ago, but since then have not been able to find one that i like. On Friday I went in to my dr. after hemmoraging on Thursday and loosing the pregnancy. The Dr. who saw me told me what most likely happened (chemical pregnancy or early mis), examed me, and then set me up for blood tests to see if my hormone levels were back to normal so that we could ttc again right away. When I went in for my follow up yesterday, a different Dr. saw me. She didn't even read my chart, she saw the blood test paperwork on the front and came in and said, "your blood test came up negative for pregnancy." I was like, "I know that, that's not why I am here." Then she looked through my chart and said, "well everything looks good, just keep taking your vitamins and you should be fine." And got up to leave before I could ask any questions!! I was so mad! I don't know how much I trust them but I called 3 other places and can't seem to find another doctor who is taking new patients right now! It's so frustrating. I have a friend who had almost the exact same thing happen to her last month. Her doctor told her to wait 3 months!! The only difference is that she was on the pill and not taking prenatals. I have been taking those for about a year now. Does that make any difference? I want to try again right away, but I don't want to risk anything going wrong a second time.

 

DaBonkElsMe - January 30

hehe. should be *hope* and *examined*

 

stefkay - January 30

Hi Dabonk, I was feeling the same way about my dr. at first because she was new to me this pregnancy b/c my insurance changed. I don't think she got serious until I brought her my past medical records and she had "proof" that I'd m/c several times. She seems to be trying to find the problem as of now. Dr's tend to see so many patients that they don't really seem to care. Maybe call and see if you can talk to the first dr you saw and maybe voice your concerns and see how he responds? Ask for referrals and go ahead and set up an appt with someone else who comes with good reccomendations and sometimes offices will put people on a waiting list for an earlier appt. if one comes open. Sadly, many dr's don't really think twice about chemical pregnancies--mine still doesn't like to count my 2 as m/c, but I've pushed enough that she sees I mean business...lol :-) As for the waiting period, I've had 2 different doctors tell me the standard "waiting period" is 3 months and I'm going to stick by that because the 2 middle losses that I had occurred a month after my first d&c. The lining of the uterus isn't built up enough to sustain a pregnancy for the most part and it just made the whole waiting process longer for me. I ended up waiting for almost 2 years after the 3rd. I think since yours was so early you would probably be ok with 2 cycles if the periods are fairly normal. I was told that i may get my next one on a regular schedule or it may take longer. Then I was told the second period may be weird. I think that is why they say to wait until after the 3rd AF. Uggghhh, the waiting sucks :-(

 

snickelfritz - January 30

I just got the ok to start ttc again even though my cycles are WAY messed up. We're on a time crunch since I'll be moving in a year and we want to have a baby before I move to another country and have to deal with military overseas docs. My m/c was in October and it seems like yesterday. I'm sorry about your loss!

 

duckiec - January 30

I've been with my drs. practice for 10+ years and I thought they were good- but not during this. It seemed for annual exams, or when I was PG they had time. When I wasn't, the just shuttled me out the door each time- no explainations, no time for questions, just "go and make the best of it". I'd change practices... but the dr. did say he'd monitor the next one more closely so I don't want to turn that down since as stefkay said it can be hard to get someone to listen. We'll see. I had to call again today (spotting returned. ARG) Snickelfritz- baby dust!

 

stefkay - January 30

hi, i just reread my post and it sounds confusing, my 2 chemical pregnancies-the first one happened about a month after my d&c, the 2nd was about 2 months after that...they didn't both happen in the same month!LOL...anyways, I went to give blood at the dr's this morning to see if levels are back to zero yet. No more test results in. If nothing more shows up, it looks like this MTHFR mutation I have could be the culprit. I actually am hopiing so, mainly because there is some action that can be taken (mainly just extra folic acid along with baby aspirin and/or heparin shots once pregnant again) rather than just "hope it doesn't happen again". The nurse just told me that it is really important to keep taking my vitamins, so everyone take your vitamins!!! (I sound like my mom :-) hee hee)

 

lindsie - January 30

Hello to everyone, here's my story. I had a natural m/c at just 5 weeks on 1/5/07. We have been ttc without drugs for one year (our twins were conceived using Clomid), then went through 4 cycles of Clomid to finally get pregnant again. After dealing with the whole infertility issue for so long, my m/c felt like a slap in the face. I really never expected that. I'm glad to have a forum like this to hear other women's stories and maybe find some comfort through this. It's only been a few weeks, but I think I'm ready to try again. My dr didn't want to start Clomid again for a couple of months, but maybe it will happen on its own. :) My head says we should wait a cycle or two, but my heart just wants to be pregnant again. I've read several posts on this forum from both sides where some women get and stay pregnant before their period ever returns, and others who've tried again really soon and ended up with another m/c. Anyway, I think I'm just rambling now. I am so sorry for all of your losses and I pray for us all to finally have a happy ending.

 

duckiec - January 31

Welcome, lindsie- I'm very to sorry to hear about your loss. The 5th was when I found out I had (missed) m/c- bad day for lots of us. I too have read both the positive and negative stories and guidelines about when TTC again... and have the same head vs. heart battle going on. My "compromise" plan I think is protection before the 1st AF, then after that we're not going to try (but not going to prevent). After the 2nd AF- OPKs and the works! I think that gives me at least the mininum time some drs. recommend, and then is in line with what my Dr said, (although we'll see how long it takes for the *(#$& spotting to stop). I figure if it happens earlier then my body was ready. And then the panic would start...

 

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