Loss At 39 Weeks

3 Replies
Steff - January 29

A friend of mine was due to have her baby and a week before the due date an emergency ultrasound determined that her daughter had passed away. I come to this site asking for the help of you wonderful ladies. I lost almost 1 year ago. However, i find my friend's loss "worse" due to the fact that she had to deliver her precious baby and hold her lifeless body. Does anyone have any advice I can pass on? Thank you to all of you in advance for reliving your own pain to help another grieving mother.


Patreasa - January 30

Hi Steff. I lost my daughter at 22 and a half weeks, and the pain is still unbearable. I had her 3 days after this past Christmas. I got a chance to hold her and kiss her before she died. There's nothing I or anyone could say or do to make the pain go away. Losing a child is the worst kind of pain. Please tell your friend that her reactions are normal, no matter what they are, and that in time, she will heal.


K - January 30

Steff, sorry for your friends loss. Its nice you are trying to help her though. I too lost my baby girl at 28 wks in Nov, gave birth but she lived only 7 hours. Nothing you can say or do will give her what she wants, because all she wants is her baby back and for this not to have happened. Just give her a shoulder to cry on, let her talk if she needs too, even if its painful for you to hear, and tell her the only thing she can do is try and get through each minute as it comes. Soon she will be able to do that and she can focus on the hours, then the days then the weeks (can't tell you beyond that because all I've got to is weeks so far). Time is a great healer and in this case is the only healer. She will just have to find space to live with it in her life, it never goes away. She will though, we women are remarkably strong when we need to be. On that thought, please also spare a thought for her dh. He will be hurting just as much and everyone focuses on us mummy's and daddy's need a hug too. Your a good friend and she's lucky to have you. xx


Steff - January 30

Thank you so much for your input. I am so sorry for both of your losses. May 2006 bring you peace and (a bundle of) joy!



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?