Lost My Baby At 35 Weeks 2 Weeks Ago

7 Replies
mybellaangel - October 6

I had no idea anything was wrong with my baby due to false ultra sound reports, went into labour and delivered a 7 lb 5 oz baby girl by c-section who passed away shortly after due to having no kidneys and only one lung. To say I am heart broken is an understatement, and right now the only thing keeping me going is that we want to try again as soon as is safe. My OB told me 3 months is ok. Just wondering if anyone is in or has been in a similiar situation and has some advice for me?


tamara2010 - October 18

hi i had similar situation was due on 19th of october. everything was fine trhuout whole pregnancy (scans, blood everything) on th 2nd of october- noticed, that my baby sort of sleepy, lazy, - so went to the hospital. the baby was alive!!!! hartbeat was there!!! but they took me to the labor ward..just in case if... "nothing to worry" they broke my waters and i waited more then 2 hours. the baby was in disstress on the end and hartbeat droped. so they performed emergency c-cection. when they cut the cord the baby`s hart STOPPED!!!! i was 37 and half weeks pregnant with very healthylooking and handsome boy. DEATH- UNKNOWN!!!!! NOBODY KNOWS WHY!!! why they waited for c-cection so long? was it the scan mistake hopefully the postmortem will find the reason... BUT IF NOT???


mybellaangel - October 18

I have tears in my eyes for your family. I really hope that you will be able to find some answers through the post mortem that will give you some amount of peace inside. It may seem hard to believe right now, but you really will be able to find some peace eventually, one day. It will be a month on wednesday that we lost our Isabella, and even though I do cry for her and miss her every single day, I just keep holding on to that I will be pregnant again and we will have our beautiful angel with us. Do you have other children? Are you planning on trying again when you feel ready physically and emotionally? Has your dr referred you to a grief counsellour? We've been seeing a counsellour together weekly, and it has really made a very big difference. I feel so much empathy for you, this is definantly a very unique pain that I wouldnt wish upon even my worst enemy. How is your husband feeling???


tamara2010 - October 19

hi thank very much for answering. must be really hard for you to go back in thoughts..... we did not go to counsellour yet, because i can not go in public without crying.... from friday got ill- pain in whole body and high fever... so staing in bed, taking paracitamol and crying i`v got sun, who will be 3 next month. he keep asking were is the baby and we told him that the baby was really ill and now he is beautifull angel, watching us from the clouds... planning to have more children, but do not know how soon i`ll be able to recover and get better emotionaly. it happend 2and a half weeks ago. and today is 19th- due day... he was ment to be born today! husband trying to cope, but i can see how he feels- not good at all. do you have any children? you are saing "false ultra sound reports"... ????? thats really sad....i`m really sorry foryour loss


mybellaangel - October 19

*hugs* I actually thought of you when I woke up this morning, I remembered you had said today was your due date. I havent met my due date yet, its Oct 27th. Our little girl was 5 weeks early but weighed 7 lbs 5 oz. The tech who did our ultra sound measured our babies kidneys and included the measurements in her report. I switched hospitals last minute and the new hospital only had the old ultra sound reports to go on, so when our baby was born without either kidneys and only one lung the hospital wasnt prepared and couldnt resusitate her. I will never forget that moment. they had to sedate me because I tried to get off the operating table with my stomach wide open to get to my baby. It still hurts so much. The pain changes though, as time goes on. It will be a month tomorrow for us, and my husband and I are getting memorial tattoos for her tomorrow. I dont know what you believe in or how your beliefs have been effected by this loss, but the one thing that is holding me from falling apart is that I need to get myself healthy so that as soon as our 3 months are up, I can become pregnant again and our baby will be back with us. I dream about her all the time, and it really consoles me. In my dreams she is happy and healthy and laughing, and I know that where she is she will be taken care of until I can have her back. I've held her in my dreams. Sometimes I dream of messages from her that are meant to rea__sure me. I guess it sounds kind of crazy, but its what gets me by until I can have her again. I also found I was lost until I was finally able to bring her home. We had her cremated so that I could have her with me. The funeral home is owned by family friends, and they gave me a beautiful locket with some of her ashes inside so that I can have her with me always. I am so sorry that on top of your loss you have had to deal with health issues. I really hope you start getting better physically so that you can start getting better inside. Everyone heals differently and at their own pace, and I just really encourage you to not feel bad about how you are dealing with things. Your instincts will know what is right for you, and when you feel ready to go out in public you will. It will be really hard the first few times, I wont lie. When people first seen me without my baby belly, they naturally wanted to congratulate me, and then theres the awkward moment when I have to say what happened, followed swiftly by my tears. If they are good people, they will leave the topic alone, but I've had rude people want to know personal details. Its ok to walk away, and dont let anyone make you feel bad for crying. Crying is healthy. Crying means you are facing it, and its better to face it now than to bury it and have it come out later. It really does get better, I promise. I feel for you having to explain to your son, and him being the age he is, he wont understand your reactions. I have 5 children that range in age from 11 year old twins to a 6 year old. It was hard for them, as they all have the same father and he abandoned them, and this was our baby together with their step dad who has become more than their "real"father ever could. They were very involved in the pregnancy, and one of my daughters was actually at the hospital with us and held her baby sister after she pa__sed. I've signed them all up for grief counselling, but they have yet to start. They were happy to hear we were going to try again, but they still ask why this had to happen, and why did it have to be their sister. Finding answers to the big why can sometimes be impossible, so I really do hope you guys can find some answers that will help you be able to move forward easier. Even though the drs explained over and over again to me that this was just a complete fluke, nothing genetical, nothing that would ever happen again,and especially nothing that I could have possibly made happen, I had a really hard time letting go of the guilt. I felt like even if it wasnt something I consciencously caused, it was still my body that made her without everything she needed. It was what almost made me honestly crazy, but my grief counsellour helped me to let go of that thought, and as soon as I did, I felt so much better and was able to start functioning again. Did the dr prescribe you anything to help you sleep???


fanfan - October 20

Hi Tamara and mybellaangel, so sorry to hear your lost. Your both babies are in God's hand and being angels. I fully understand your both feeling. Especially on the date that suppose to be your due date. I had placenta abruption 25weeks and lost my lovely baby boy. On the actual due date i was sad too. He is my first baby so i am still grieving and try to be stronger. My baby was with us for 9 days and pa__sed away peacefully in my arms. We will have a 1 year break and try to conceive again next year. Those ladies in my office were all carrying the baby till full term and smoothly. I sometimes ask myself...why me.... May be God want to teach us to be a stronger women.


missinmyangelbabies - October 22

Hi, our baby girl was born sleeping on March 3rd this year! Everything had been perfect and still no answer to why she didn't make it! We went to the doctor for a routine check-up on March 2nd and there was no heartbeat! My husband and I started trying again right after my first menstrual cycle and got pregnant in June but miscarried at 6 weeks! Then got pregnant again in September and miscarried just this week! I have 2 other children DS is 6 and DD is 4 both are healthy! They have no explaination to why I had a stillborn or 2 miscarriages! We are still trying and not going to give up until my doctors tell me it isn't healthy! My heart goes out to all of you who have loss! I know the pain you feel! I feel it everyday! Sending you all up in prayers!


fanfan - October 27

Hi Missinmyanelbabies, sorry for your lost too. My pregnancy since beginning was smoothly and find. No answer what caused my placenta abruption. I even had my normal check up three days before the pre-term labor and everything just normal. But who knows that the following few days i had to go to labor. I used to blame myself and kept asking me "what if" and "why". I miss my baby every day and wondering where he is now. He pa__sed away in my arm and i kept told my baby that i will always love him for the rest of my life and sorry that we are not meant to be together....



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