64 Replies
Erin_thenurse - May 27

We are all here for the loss of our children. Some of us are begining again, and some of us are trying, some of us are just trying to cope. We support eachother through every moment of life now, maybe with a little help from Sandwaby ( stands for Sad and wanting a baby) or the rest of us in SANDHABY ( sick and having a baby) . And now we even have a STANDHABY ( second trimester and having a baby) . All os us have come a long way !!! We have become more then support....we have become friends. So either way, come on in and join us...everyone is welcome!!!!


Erin_thenurse - May 27

Ladies, I miss all of you and am sorry that I have been MIA this weekend but I just finished a 60 hour week and start back work today. I have been so tired but it doen't mean that I have forgotten about all of you. Bryandi, thanks for asking about me. How are you doing? Do you enjoy your holiday? Shelly, how are you and Carson doing? I have lost my whole post before and you know me I write a lot. That is soooo discouraging!!!! I have now followed Jourdan's advice and write everything in word and copy and paste it. JUDI, How is AF going? You HSG is coming soon and then ttc so you can be pregnant by Aug at your brother's(if I remember correctly) wedding. SHANA, How is your move going? That is such hard work! Be careful not to lift anything too heavy! JILL, Have you finished you traveling? 9 weeks this week!!! SHAB, I like your name. It is beautiful. How's little Shireen doing? MISSP, So sorry to hear about all the water weight? I know that you are doing all this for your little baby and that makes me proud. Clauds, Where have you been?? Joudan, miss you much girl! Been thinking a lot about you and just wondering how you are. MOMMYJOY, I am sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy and your recent health problems. I'm glad that you are resting and taking good care of you. Thank you, all my girls, for the great encouragement. You're right....the 2WW is horrible. I've been kinda down lately. I'm trying not to be. Today is cd 28 and 13 dpo. Yesterday I had a BFN again.


jstaley1228 - May 27

Okay, Shelly...I know I said I'd post over the weekend but I've discovered there is no way I am going to get to use our home computer until AFTER my husband takes his BAR exam in July. I'm just gonna have to take the weekends off from posting and then post on Mondays. Well, gives me more to talk about, right? My holiday weekend was okay. I'm still a sick as ever so it's hard to get much done and I'm getting a little down which is awful cause I am so excited about this baby but I feel like I've been sick forever! It's been a month and I'm hoping only a month (at the most!)left? I am 10.5 weeks today. I can't wait to stop feeling nauseous all the time. So, I think I thougth of a girls name I REALLY love...DH might like it too. What do you all think of Everette Faith? I know, I know...there I go witht he boy names again but I really like it! It means "strong" so I think Strong Faith would be a great name for my little miracle babe! I am having inklings it's gonna be a girl. Guess we'll see. Bryandi, how did the pool turn out? I wish we had one. I LOVE pools. Colorado isn't a great pool state though. I did some yard work this weekend too. A lot of flower planting. My b___t and thighs are so sore. Shana, how was your weekend? How did the move go? I'm anxious to hear. Miss P...any word on the Visa yet? Should be soon, huh? Judi Sarah, how are you doing? AF done yet? Erin, hang in there. I know a BFN on 13dpo is discouraging. Don't give up yet, though. I'm still praying for you until the horrid witch arrives. Have a good Tuesday ladies.


ShanaT - May 27

Hey ladies... wow the pa__sed few days have been crazy. I can't believe we actually got it all done and moved. I can't believe I got everything even packed last week. Things just kept popping up when I thought we were done packing! That was rough! Thank God for my inlaws. I couldn't carry much of anything and the two of them and Dh.... they did it all basically. They are just wonderful. I felt guilty but my MIL kept telling me that this was there way of helping me during this preg... they have just been so great in both my pregnancies. They were the ones DH and I ran to last time when we found out we had m/c..... and you know some people say some really dumb and insensitive things in a time like that.... but not them... they never said even one thing that hurt us. Everything they said was so real and right on and just so sweet. I will always feel indebted to them for how they helped DH and I thru that time. Okay well..... things are settling some what. Our beanie baby in there is doing great we feel. I have been listening to the heartbeat at least once a day pretty much still (in laws got to hear too!) and this morning it was steady and strong as usual. Tomorrow is the day ladies.... the exact week and day that my last bean stopped growing. Although it wasn't for two weeks past that that we found out. I don't know why this day is so hard for me. I know this is a different pregnancy, a different baby, and different environment in there for the bean.... I just can't shake this fear again. I can't wait to be on the other side of this scare period. I pray that God sends me more peace then. I am so attached to this baby already. I just couldn't even fathom if anything happened. I think I'm even more attached to this baby than the last baby at this point. The last baby I was just SO naive. So clueless about what could happen. I feel so much more in general about this baby.... not that I didn't love the last bean-- I adored that baby and couldn't wait. But I feel like I didn't really know at this point last time how much was really at stake... and now I do... Oh goodness tomorrow will be a tough day. I may perminately attach the doppler to my womb all day.... just lay there and keep listening to make sure that it doesn't go away. I don't know why my mind has focused so much on this day.... i mean I do, but I don't.... the same changes of something happening are in any day really.... but for some reason I just keep thinking that if I make it pa__sed tomorrow....if I can just make it pa__sed tomorrow.... wow I may be going crazy! All I can do is pray to God that this is the baby I get to hold and raise one day soon. Everyday I ask God to "guide my baby's growth" I probably say those four words a million times a day talking to God. As soon as fear starts to creep up.... I repeat those words... it does bring me some peace. I feel like I've waited forever to be on the other side of this.... I feel like I've been in the first trimester for 6 months.... really I have been. We got preg so soon after.... Okay I'm done being down.... I got my venting done. GOOD NEWS THO..... I actually pa__sed my glucose testing from last week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you guys believe it!!!??? I was SOO sure that since I just failed the one from the first preg that I would surely fail this one too. And nope! I paased with flying colors! The midwife said every preg is different and its all in how your body responds to breaking down the sugars.... well this time it's doing it right! YEAH! So I'm good until the end of the preg when the test again. My numbers this time were 100 even. Any thing under 140 is good! Last time mine were 156. I couldn't be happier! Some good news this week was great. Well I am just about 11 weeks. I can't believe its been 11 weeks already! JILL... and BRYANDI can you guys believe it? Doesn't it seem to be just flying by?? I hope the next 5 weeks continue to fly. I just can't wait to tell everyone. I can't believe I haven't already. I just can't wait to be 16 weeks and telling everyone over the 4th of July! That will be a huge weight off my shoulders and make this all actually REAL. OKay ladies. I'm thinking of you all and I'll be on again soon. Things seen to be going fairly well for us all so that makes me happy... ERIN still thinking of you! Keep the faith, it WILL happen... when the time is just perfect! But I'm not giving up on this month just yet!


MissP - May 27

Hi girls, just a quickie update - ive been a bit low as on Monday i heard my cousin in the UK had died, it was a total shock, she had been ill for sometime but nobody saw this coming. We grew up like sisters, shes only 32. I am pretty devastated that i wasnt able to see her before she died. Ive been here for nearly 2 years now and technically we should have been home a year ago, if it wasnt for these stupid people who are prejudiced and like to mess up lives. On that subject i rang them yesterday ready to half kill someone on the phone and was told that the visa is on its way - it should arrive today or tomorrow. So it means i will get to go home hopefully in the next few days, depending on what flights we can find. I am just so angry with these people, and upset for my poor aunty and uncle who are going through hell. Im trying not to cry, as again its the worst possible timing for getting upset and loosing liquids! But obviously on monday i was in floods so that set me back. I know the baby is ok tho and hes been trying to cheer me up with a few kicks now and then. So il update again when i know what day im flying. I should be excited to go home and it should be a happy day and now its going to be a sad reunion. Life is so unfair sometimes, but im just glad to be going back, regardless. Dh is being great still and now has taken to cooking as yesterday i burnt my bump on the oven and now he dosnt want me to go near the hot things anymore. Bless him, he is a sweetie. Ok well i did read all your posts and am thinking about you all, just dont have time to comment but i will soon, promise, take care ladies x x x


Shabnam - May 27

Hey ladies, hope you are all well... Erin hang in there! It's not over till AF show's her ugly face... and I'm praying for you not to see her for the next 9 months. Jstay, I also did a glucose tolerance test but I guess the results are different here in canada. I do have an intolerance to glucose but no gestational diabetes so my doctor wants me to eat more proteins and less carbs... I am sure the whole carb loading diet she gave me didn't help with the results but anyways... MissP I am so sorry about the loss of your cousin. I am still keeping my fingers crossed for your visa. As for me, I found a lump on my b___st about a week ago and the doctor thinks it may be caused by my underwire bra. So I am confined to wearing no underwire which has no support when your size in in the DD. We are hoping the lump will go away by my next appointment. If not we will get a mammo done. And take it from there. I really hope its nothing. DH was supposed to be back tonight. So I'm feeling a little sad but I am so grateful my sil is so helpful! Ok enough rambling you ladies have a great evening!


Lexxy - May 27

Hi Ladies, This is my first time posting here, or anywhere for that matter :) I kind of feel like the new girl in school and don't really know where to start. DH and I had been TTC for 6 months and, after finally deciding to take a break, found out we were pregnant after the 7th month. This came as a huge but wonderful surprise and both of us were very excited to find out that we were both in "working order" :) At my first doctors appt I was surprised with an ultrasound, which I found strange for 9 weeks, only to be told that she saw nothing but an empty sac. Completely shocked by this diagnosis I started to cry (I was alone due to the fact that we weren't expecting the usound - never doing that again!) - her response was "it happens". She told me to wait 2 weeks and come back for a follow up - long story short after 2 more doctors appts and a second opinion, the blighted ovum was confirmed. The first doctor kept calling it a "missed abortion" - can I say how much I HATE this term! I am now 10 days past a D&C and waiting to move on. I am still bleeding, and a bit scared to think about the prospect of trying again...DH is extra supportive and understanding, but I really need to talk to other women in my position, or who have lived through this in the past. I tell myself everyday not to give up and what is meant to be will be - no matter how hard it is to believe right now.


smmom2 - May 27

Hello ladies....almost hump day..can you believe it. ERIN....hopefully you wont have to work that much every week. Dont give up yet...still a few days till af can bean maybe growing in there. I pray you get your BFP !!!!!!!!!! MAybe tomarrow !!! JILL...ok you are so in trouble....well, maybe I will let you off the hook until dh is all done with his bar !!!! OK heres what I think of your name....Everette....I like is different, and you could call her Adam and EVE...and talk about a strong and blessed name!!! and I love faith !!!! SHANAT..... I am glad you are all moved and that your in laws helped !!! That is nice to have such great support. As for you scare date.... we have all gone through that same thing. It is normal and totally ok for you to feel scared, nervous, mad or sad or whatever. I did aso. doesnt go away after that date. There will be a thought in your head everyday about wether or not your baby is ok. But it is normal for us because we have felt the loss of a chlid. I cannt believ you are 11 weeks already !!! WOw this time is flying for you all !!! Same for you JILL !!!! I am also glad you pa__sed your glucose test. funny about burning your bump..I just did that a week ago !!! And I think I did it with my second dd also !!! Well...good news about your visa if it really does show up !!! I am soooo sorry about your cousin. I know that is hard. But it is good that you get to go home finally !!! SHAB.....I pray that your lump is nothing but a lump from your wire poking you !!!! I am sorry you are going through this. Well ladies.... I have my glucose test tomarrow. And my stupid shot....I have to drink that nasty orange drink...yuck !!!! I will also talk to my doc about Carson dropping and my uti. Lets hope it doesnt mean anything. Well I am off to bed. !!!!


Erin_thenurse - May 28

Shana, You moved......... YEAH! Your in-laws are so good to you in helping you move. You need all the help you can get. So sorry to hear about your hard day tomorrow. I'm sure that all day long you will be listening to the little beanie baby's heartbeat. You are so blessed that this little one is with you and doing well. I will send out a little prayer for you that your heart will be at rest tomorrow. Keep that Doppler handy!! Congradulations on pa__sing your GTT!!!! That is so great that you don't have an extra burden this pregnancy. You, Bryandi, and Jill are racing toward the finish line and soon will have you little one in your arms. Thanks for not given up on me this month even when I have. MISSP, So sorry to hear about your cousin. You know that you couldn't have changed it but I understand that you just wanted to see her and talk to her one last time. I sure that she knew how much you loved her and wanted to be there for her. GOD, LET THAT VISA COME SOON!!!! Any updates on the status of the "LOST VISA"? Are they just taking their sweet time or what! They don't understand that you need it so much! I'm praying that it will come soon and that you will be able to travel with DH. Be carefull where you put your bump girl!!!! You're not as small as you used to be!!! Hehe, no more cooking for you girl! SHAB, what is up with us girls??? We are falling apart at the seams!!!! GREAT to hear that you pa__sed you GTT and can control you gluscose through diet and exercise. It's so much better than having to take insulin shots 3-4 times a day. I 'm sure that you appreciate that. What is up with this lump, girl??? I guess that its all about the sports bras for yo now. I pray and hope that it goes away after disposing of those underwires. Give my love to Shireen! LEXXY, glad that you could join us, girl! But I wish that it was under better circ_mstances. I'm sorry that you have lost your little one and I understnad your heartbreak. My story is that I have been ttc for almost 15 months and had a m/c(missed abortion) on Jan15. This is our first month on clomid and this is cd29, 14dpo and still BFN. So we are still trying. It feels like your heart will never heal after your little goes to heaven. HERE"S A GREAT BIG HUG FOR YOU!!! We all need each other here and we have all been there...some of us more than once. I have the same fear that once I become pregnant that I will loose my little one again and I don't know if I can do that. Who could? I wish you all the luck in the world in ttc when you are ready. I bled for 18 days after my miscarriage. Hope yours will end soon. Welcome and feel free to vent, scream, cry, laugh or any other emotion you have inside. JILL, we are so on the same page about boy names for girls. I love the name Everette for a girl! My DH thinks that it is so strange to do that to a girl so I'm compromising! WOW, its sound s like you have been so busy this week. Tell your DH "good luck with your BAR exam" for me. When does he take it? I heard that it was a really challenging exam!!!!! You'll have to sneek on the computer during his breaks!!!!!! Don't leave us alone Jill!! Yeah for 11 weeks!! Oh and thanks for the positive att_tude for me. I need it!! SHELLY, I guess this is the week for the GTT. Good luck with that nasty orange drink and peeing every hour and getting poked every hour. I had to do it SUCKS!!! Oh great and you have a UTI....that is the worst! Hope you get some meds fast. That hurts like he**. So did you mean that it feels like Carson is dropping lower in your pelvis?? Hopefully, just a little round ligament pain and he is just settling for the journey. Let us know about your GTT!! I'l be wishing the best for you. I am don't usually work this much I am saving up for an anniversary trip for me and DH! JUDI and SARAH9, where are you girls?? Miss you. Jourdan, If you ever peak your head in....I love and miss you girl!


Erin_thenurse - May 28

As for me girls, today is my anniversary. I have to work today and tomorrow but then I have the next 6 days off. YEAH!!!! So here is my plan.....I am going to call my OBGYN this morning and ask him for more provera to get af going and up my dosage of clomid to 100mg. (I'm gonna first take one more hpt to be sure) I never get af on my own and I would be waiting years for that witch to come. Then I'm gonna call and move up my appointment with the fertilty specialist. I had planned to wait till after my third cycle of clomid was done but I don't think that I want to wait that long anymore. Today is cd 29 and 14dpo and I'm ready to start again. Thank you ladies for all your support. Ok JUDI, June is our month!!! It has to be!! Come on eggs. I better start making eggs soon or I'm gonna go in there and pull then out myself!! Oh, the pain of another month!!! That means I have to clean my counter of all the old opt and neg preg test to start new. Come on baby dust. DUMP IT ON ME GIRLS!!!


Sam90210 - May 28

Hi girls, My name is Samantha and I live in BH California. I just suffered my second loss in 6 months, so here I am. I was lurking after my first loss and just decided to join. I have noticed alot of your "regulars" have disappeared. Just a word of advice (and please don't take this the wrong way) but this thread is t_tled for women who suffered a loss and its full of pregnant ladies, I know for me personally although I am happy for all of you, I came here to talk to woman who like me have had a loss and its hard to sit and read all about others pregnancies. Maybe you should start a new thread for your pregnancies as it seems to me that this one has been taken over and as any woman who losses a baby knows, the last thing you want to talk about or be faced with is others joy of their impending motherhood. It just stings. Thanks for your time.


Lexxy - May 28

Hi Samantha90210 - Thank you for your post, I too posted here yesterday with the intention of connecting with others in the same situation, but feel like I have intruded on a private conversation. I'm here if you want to chat.


jstaley1228 - May 28

Hi, girls! Shab...what is up with a b___st lump now of all times? I'm sorry you have to deal with that but keep your chin up. Oh, and I got a new bra at Victorias Secret that is an Ipex Wireless and my best friend (who is currently b___stfeeding) is at least a DD and she just got one and loves it so maybe look into? I'll be praying for you. Erin, I love the idea of pusing up your appts and getting the ball rolling, even if af hasn't showed this month (there is still a chance!) I think it's great your being proactive and taking charge. Congrats on your anniversary! Did you say you had been saving for a trip? Where are you planning to go and how long have you been married? Shelly, good luck witht he orange drink today. You'll have to tell me how that one goes. Haven't heard a good thing about that one yet! And thanks for sounding off on my girl name ideas. I am really liking that name! MissP I'm so sorry you burned the bump! Guess it's hard to learn to get around things with a new big ole' belly. Be careful with little Tyler! Hee hee...I'm sorry to giggle cause I'm sure something like that will happen to me someday too. Any news on the Visa today? Shana, I am thinking of you today. I understand how this day can be hard and emotional. My day was my 8 week appt cause that was the day they discovered my blighted ovum so I was in a complete panic when the ultrasound was starting. Just pray for the babe you lost and the one your gonna have in December and let that bring you some peace. I know it sucks but hang in there. Sam and Lexxy, I apologize that it feels as if you stumbled into a private conversation and our intention on this therad is not to make you feel badly. We have women in all walks of trying to concieve on this thread but the important thing for us is that it all started from one common bond. We have all experienced the loss of a child here and that is where these friendships stemmed from. We haven not moved because as I mentioned, there are women in our group who are still trying and who are still dealing with the emotions a__sociated with a miscarriage. Because some of us have been blessed with another chance at this particular time does not mean we no longer grieve for the ones we've lost and that is why we are here cause our girls get it and the support is the whole point. The friendships we found is just a great perk! We have always welcomed anyone with open arms and will continue to do so. If you don't feel this is the thread for you there are many other choices or you can simply start a new one and meet new women too. We would be more than happy to have you join us as we understand the pain and hopelessness losing a baby can bring but we would want you to be comfortable with us and we do have a past here as you can see, we are on thread #22 so we've all go great history here and you can jump in any time or maybe find a thread that fits your needs better. Whatever you decided we all wish you the best and hope you can find some peace in your current situations.


MissP - May 28

Hi girls. We are getting the visa tomorrow!! So that will be exciting, im just stressing about the flight now. The stress never ends. Plus my stupid stupid doctor didnt have my records ready today and says we have to go to his house to get them tomorrow night, which is no easy feat on public transport and taxis when he lives more than an hour away. Im so annoyed with him! Anyway i cant wait to get out of here. Sorry to vent (you ladies know how much i have to rant sometimes!) But i just feel the need. Anyway thanks for listening. il be back in a minute x x


Judi Sarah - May 28

hi ladies. my goodness, i don't sign on for a few days and there's a new thread! ERIN - you are too sweet for asking about me and remembering so much. thank you! AF is coming to an end, but the testing has just begun. and i know you are doing a different, better kind of testing than me. i like your positive att_tude. if not this month, then the next. are you charting your temps? JSTALEY - the bar sucks! your dh must be hating that he hasno life right now! btw, i hope you feel better! SHANA - i am happy your in laws are great and i am even happier that your test went well!!! yaaay! did you say you moved? that's wonderful! i didn't know it was going to be so soon. i hope your new neighbors aren't crackheads like the last ones, haha. MISSP - terribly sorry about your cousin in the UK. on a better note though, i am really hopeful that your visa comes soon and you can get back to some sanity and be there for your aunt and uncle. SHABNAM - sorry dh isn't back. he'll be back soon though. SAM & LEXXY - welcome to the thread and i am sorry we met under these circ_mstances. i understand how you feel about this thread being full of pregnant women, but i have been here for a few months since my mc and have seen many of these women go through a loss and then get pg. they give me inspiration and hope and they understand exactly how i feel. i actually don't want them to change threads b/c they have been so awesome at comforting me. you guys are definitely not intruding on any private conversation since this is open to all, but i would certainly not vote for them to leave. in fact, way back when they all started getting pg, i worried they would leave me, but they didn't and i appreciate that. i hope you guys can stay and join me and others like erin in our journey to ttc again. jstaley really sums up what i am trying to say best. hope you guys decide to stay b/c i definitely need some more ttc buddies.


ShanaT - May 28

hey ladies... wow I think I have made it thru today pretty well. I kept myself VERY busy today so much that I did not even bring out the doppler yet! Can you believe it! Of course after this post I will be running to it and check on the bean but I'm glad I waited til the end of the day so that I wouldn't stop and listen every two minutes. JILL... thank you SOOO much for your words. It's such a crazy day.... I feel like lifetimes are over lapping here. I l keep having flashbacks to when I went thru this time the first time. I'm just going to be so happy to be on the other side of this time ya know. I'm making it tho. I'm just so happy that the three of us "preg newbies" are all doing so well and hanging in there. I feel so blessed that I'm not going thru this alone on here. SAM AND LEXXY.... I was really excited when I saw that we had two new ladies. I hope tho that you both aren't discouraged here tho. I'm sorry that you both feel this way and I'm SO sad for the baby's that you dreamed of holding. Every time someone new tells their story... I feel the pain of my loss like it just happened. Jill is right tho.... we are all here and bonded because we all started exactly where you both are. When I first joined this site I was just beginning my first month of trying....that was thread 10 or so I think.... I remember reading about some of the other stories about women getting pregnant. I know what you both mean, however it became easier to feel their joys knowing that I too would be there soon. It gave me unbelievable hope... and counting down their weeks of pregnancy would unknowingly get me thru several weeks without realizing. Thats the best part of this site I think! When I find joy in another womens story and count down her milestones with her.... all of a sudden I've made it thru a few more weeks with my own sanity! lol We have all become GREAT friends here... and I feel that in t_tling this thread "starting over after a M/C or D/C" it covers EVERYTHING that happens after the loss. Every day can be a struggle after a loss.... no matter if your 6 weeks, 6 months, or a day away from delivering. A loss brings on SO many fears during another pregnancy so I don't believe that "starting over" phase ever really ends. We have women on here who are close to full term.... but we have been there for them this whole time. I would never want them to find another site because their close to 40 weeks. They help us in SO many ways....give us hope... and real life experiences and advice. I'm 11 weeks with my second preg. I lost my first baby at 11 weeks. Today is a VERY hard day for me and I don't know how I'd get thru it without knowing that I have the thoughts, prayers, and support of these girls.... the same girls who held my hand thru TTC again after my loss. The same girls I thought of when I took each of the 10 HPTs this time (I'm a bit of a POAS addict) The same girls who all celebrated the day I announced the BFP this time! Whether I'm on here or conducting my daily life... I know they are thinking about me always. This site is a true blessing in my life and I truly hope that you both are able to hang around to see all that this thread of ladies has to give! You would not regret it! We cheer on every one of us here! From JUDI waiting for af to leave so she can start TTC again! to ERIN during her 2ww (GO ERIN!) to SMMOM and SHAB and their son and daughter due pretty shortly. I don't believe the fear after a loss every goes away so we are all still getting what we need here from each other. I hope that you both find peace and understanding and the courage to begin again. We are thinking of you both. Good luck. But I do hope that we get to be apart of this journey for you both! BRYANDI hope all is well girl! Hope you're remembering to get some rest with all your home fixin! Talk soon ladies...


Judi Sarah - May 28

SMMOM - thanks for emailing me again. i will be replying shortly. how did your glucose test go? as for me ladies, af is about ending and the HSG indicated everything is normal. except apparently there is something benign in my uterus that should be removed. i also did another blood test to see what's going on with this lupus nonsense. i really really really want to get back to ttc. as i mentioned before the rheuma appt is on june 4th, which can't come soon enough. please please keep praying all!



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