19 Replies
Mandy1984 - March 10

hey JUJU, I was reading through the preg. after m/carrage thread and some1 mentioned that you had posted on here because things have went bad for you, I haven't read your post but just want you to know that i am thinking about you, I felt really sad when I read that one of the other girls had saw your post, I wish there was something I could say but I know there is not,,, I hope you and your family can find peace...Again I am so very sorry for your loss I can't begin to imagine having 2 m/carriages in a row.... You and your family will be in my prayers, God bless Amanda


JuJu - March 11

Mandy; thanks fo chasing me up....had a big cry (but in a nice way, if that's possible!) to read your message to me. I haven't been on for a couple of days due to relocating back to Sydney....and then the mc etc. I had a D&C 2 days ago; they took away everything for testing, to see if this is more than just coincidence. Today I am doing it tough; feeling the pressure to 'get-over' it but not knowing how. Just lost and ...... lost. Sitting here on the couch wondering how I can ever start to get my life back. So worried about what the future holds for us. I realise that today is probably just a bad day - hoping tomorrow is better. I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but just can't quite find the switch today. Thanks again for caring Amanda. XX


Susan W - March 11

JuJu, I read your other post. . . I'm so very sad for you, and then the concern about the possible partial molar. .. . I know there is nothing anyone can say to help. But if not posting on that other thread makes you feel more able to come talk, please don't feel like you have to! We can end that thread and move :) I know you have the strength to find the way through this, but it just might take a little while. So give yourself that time and just let yourself feel what you feel. Crying helps, and if you need to, just cry. . .. . When are the results expected back? Jeez, girlie, I am soo sorry :( Wish I was there to help you with DD right now .. .. (((( hug))))


deltabwa - March 11

JUJU - there are no words, just wish i could help in some way, hugs, DD, just to "be" there.. something. i am so sorry. i undersatnd not wanting to go back to the other threads and as SUSAN asked.. when do you get results.. {{{{{hugs}}}}}}


HopefulK - March 12

JUJU - I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I've chatted briefly to you on another site and my heart goes out to you. Be good to yourself and concentrate on getting through the minutes, then hours, then eventually the days. Sending hugs and compa__sion to you and you dh, Hope you find that light switch soon, I know you will, you are woman you are strong : 0 ) xx


chandellina - March 13

JuJu - I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope you are feeling better today, though you shouldn't feel like you have to bounce back immediately either. my thoughts are with you and I'm hoping you get some answers from the testing. xC.


Neets - March 13

Juju, I too am really sorry for your loss. We were all rooting for you and hoping for the best. I hope you and your dh find your inner strengths to overcome this loss. Time will lessen then pain, but can never make you forget. I hope you get some answers from the tests. Wishing you & your family all the best. xx


JuJu - March 13

You girls are just amazing!!!! I can't thank you enough for chasing me up - this is truly the darkest time in my life, and it would be a lot worse had I not felt so supported by everyone here. SusanW, I really feel like we've been through the wringer together!!! I means so much to me that you're keen to stay in touch - and I really am thrilled for you that you're progressing so well. I did read on another thread that you've had a little bit of pinkish discharge; but honestly; it sounds like you are just fine :) I am still terrified as to what the results hold for me - I am going in for further blood tests later this week. The tests from the actually baby/placenta may take weeks. I will definitely keep you all posted. I have to admit, after losing 2 babies in 3 months, I am finding it difficult not to expect the worst. I haven't been able to stop myself from researching 'partial molars' - and it just keeps hitting me; why me??!! Definitely a 'special' statistic at the moment :( Delta; thank you!! We've bumped into each other many a time on these is everything going at your end?HopefulK & Neets; thanks for the positive energy; being a woman definitely has its tough times!! In some ways I feel much more vulnerable than before; in others I feel stronger; like I am weathering a storm that in the end I will overcome. I know that there are many others who have suffered and survived far more than I - and I just have to keep thinking that if they can do it; so can I! Chandelina; you are so right - there is so much external pressure to 'bounce back' after a m/c. I am just trying to take each day as it comes; and so far I do feel that I am making emotional progress. It doesn't take much to make me angry though, when well-meaning people make 'helpful' comments about 'getting over it'. I told my DH on the weekend that I felt that everyone else had moved on, but I was left still at square one, suffering by myself. I think I will take longer to recuperate emotionally this time - I can't afford to take another king-hit for a while, methinks! Anyway, thanks again for all your thoughts - sending out equal measures of love & support back! JXX


Susan W - March 14

Hi JUJU, I'm so glad you felt up to writing again! I've been thinking of you every day (sitting here tearing up for you while writing) even when not online. I literally thought of you when I found the pink discharge and thought how will I deal with a second, but poor JuJu is having to find out!! Ignore all those people. It's a major hit to have two in three months (!) and it's simply not possible to recover immediately. Those people telling you to get over it -- and your last one was just a few days ago! -- are just ignorant of what a m/c means, even when we don't get all caught up in a new pregnancy. You may take months to recover. I told DH when I was spotting that if we lost this one, I might need a year or more before even considering ttc again. This is a hard, hard row to hoe, and bouncing back right away isn't possible. And I would do the research anyway. That way, you can have an intelligent discussion with the doctor if you get bad news, and if you don't, you at least have an understanding of what could have happened. Meanwhile, hold DD close -- I found I needed to hold my first baby and feel his warmth as long as he would handle the snuggling -- and take care of your needs. (((( hug ))))))


Rhiannon - March 14

JuJu, my heart goes out to you. I've been thinking of you for a while. You will not just bounce back and no one who cares about you should expect you to. I hope your resulst come in some and that they bring you some peace.


Morrison1 - March 14

JuJu - you and I haven't really interacted much, but I have followed your story and think about you often. I know you must feel like you are in the lonliest, most painful place on earth. There isn't much to say except do what you can to nurture yourself, take time to grieve and listen to your heart. Many others may not understand what you are going through - and the truth of the matter is that they won't EVER understand until they have been there. If you need to, take time alone, for yourself, and spend time with your family who love you and know you are struggling. If that means disappearing for a little while, then that's OK too. Like Susan said, this is a hard row to hoe, and few people know the pain you are feeling. We may only be your *virtual* friends, but we think of you and we are holding your hand when you feel alone.


SuzieQ - March 14

JuJu, I just read your post on the first trimester forum saying goodbye - and I just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear of your loss. I went through two m/c's last year (feb and aug) one right after the other, and although everyone grieves differently, you are not alone. This forum really helped me out in tough times, just knowing others had gone through the same thing somehow makes me feel better, even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Anyways, take good care of yourself and wishing you the best :)


Susan W - March 15

Just thinking of you!


JuJu - March 16

Feeling much better now - although I won't claim to be in the 'recovered' category!! Each day is an improvement on the last, and reading your messages is a god-send. Thanks girls - and Morrison1; I totally agree....I have learnt over the last couple of months that *virtual* friends can be as important in coping with mc etc, as 'in-the-flesh' friends. SuzieQ; thanks for your message, and take care of your little bean! All the best :) Rhiannon; thanks for your words..... are you pregnant again after a m/c? I have seen you on other threads too. And SusanW - how are you??!! I am feeling a little lost with this whole forum now - not quite sure where I belong now! As much as I love that this thread was to check in on me....I am feeling like I maybe need to restart a fresh thread to signify a new beginning.....and to open it up so it's not all about me! I would love to stay in touch with everyone, both pregnant, ttc and otherwise!


Susan W - March 16

JuJu, I understand about feeling lost on the forum. I felt that way after the m/c and everybody else seemed to be moving on to ttc right away again. But there's a place for everybody. We can start a new thread :)


JuJu - March 18

Susan; sounds good (re: new thread)...... how do you want to progress? (sorry for sounding so 'administrative!!') Should we stick to one of the existing threads of start an new one? How are you feeling? I have read a couple of your recent postings; so happy to hear that everything's going well. I'm living vicariously through you and some of the other preg. girls for the moment! What a bizarre position I am in!!


suzzieq - March 19

JuJU, you and I have chatted a few times. Sorry I haven't wrote in before. I felt like waiting, as I know I thought I needed a little space from others for a while. But I definately have been thinking of you each day and am so extremely sorry for this to happen again. I hope you are finding strength and encouragement to look towards the future in a positive way. You are a wonderful person and I loved reading your posts of encouragement to others and helping me when needed. THANK YOU, and know that we all care and will do the same for you!!!



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