Waiting To Miscarry After Missed Mc

45 Replies
Bumblebee - February 19

I also posted this in the First Trim forum... I am in a very confusing and sad situation having to wait for a natural miscarry after 7 weeks. Dh and I have decided to wait a couple weeks at least before I decide on d&c or not. I am in my 1st wait week. Is anyone out there in similar waiting phase and can offer support / need support / just chat? I could really use that. Waiting for something worse really sucks. One day I can stay cheerful and busy with routine and next day crying and sad and heavy heart. Thanks for reading and understanding. If anyone else who went thru this would like to offer advise / support / anything at all, you are also welcome.


tdo - February 19

Hi, I'm sorry!! I too waited to m/c. After a few weeks of repeated inconclusive u/s my dr. told me my final diagnosis was an unviable pregnacy with twins. I waited for 3 weeks to m/c. Nothing seemed to be happening, no cramps an only spotting every couple of days. I finally requested a D&C for my emotional well being. The longer i waited the prone I was to depression and that thought scared me. I am happy that I went that route. It's been 11 days since my D&C. I test negative on a home preg test today. I"m moving in the right direction and looking forward to my AF. Thought I would never say that again. I don't have any advice for you. Only you can decide what is best for you. At first, I thought I wouldn't believe them unless I physically went thr the m/c. then I changed my mind. You'll make the right decision. You wll get through this!!! The emotional rollercoaster is normal. I'm still on it, but it is getting easier day by day. keep us updated.


CaliTrish - February 19

I feel for you. I was in the same situation just before the holidays. At 7 weeks, we were told there was no heartbeat and the embryo was measuring several weeks small. My hcg level had flatlined. We weren't ready to rush into something so permanent as a D&C, so we opted to wait. 3 weeks later and nothing, we were ready to move on with our lives. I had my hcg level tested to verify it had dropped (from 37,000 to 4000) before scheduling the D&C for the following week. I started spotting that weekend but decided to proceed with the procedure. I opted for IV sedation, so the procedure was pretty quick and painless. The worse part was the IV and the prep. I was home in 3.5 hours. Don't rush into anything if it doesn't feel right. You've got to do what you're comfortable with. Just remember that M/C's are a common occurence. Best of luck.


Bumblebee - February 20

I think I should workout / get more active. Maybe that will help mc. I have more energy now, physically... as last few weeks when my hcg's were high, I was so tired all the time. I like my energy... Wish it can be like this when pg also. I am using hot packs on my tummy also. Thanks so much for listening and chatting and supporting me thru this. I am sorry for your mc's...


Bumblebee - February 20

Next week, going to fert spec for testing why I mc twice within 6 months. From reading other threads, I see there can be so many reasons.... and meds or supplements to help fix it. I also made apt with a holistic acupunc wellness place to see what support they provide, their statistics on success rates with recurrent mc's. Talking to these places and learning more is helping keep my mind off this waiting process. And it will be great to be more prepared for next time. I go in for a hcg test tomorrow....


bettyg - February 20

Hi Bumblebee - I too went through a similar situation. The wait and see approach is hard but I'm glad in the long run that I waited. It took two weeks from the confirmed u/s before I m/c. I have to admit it's a huge relief when it finally happens. I've had 4 total within 18 months and was just diagnosed with MTHFR mutation after the last one. I started accupuncture after the 2nd and loved it. I'd still be going except my dr is on maternity leave. I'm pretty much willing to try anything that won't hurt me. Anyway, I know there's really not much anyone can say to make you feel better but just know that you're not alone in this and whatever time it takes you to heal is perfectly normal. Don't let anyone tell you that you should be "over" it by now. I don't think you ever truly get over having a m/c but you will feel better in time.


Bumblebee - February 21

Bettyg- Thanks. I don't feel so much about the m/c anymore... Don't know if that is strange. What I feel now is immense sadness when I see dh cuz I can just see how sweet it would be - him with our child... and it would be a sweet complete family.. and I really want that. I don't know why we have to go thru these m/c's....


beebee4mee - February 21

Hi Bumblebee! You posted on the other thread I frequent, but thought I'd post here too. As of this morning, I am also waiting for the m/c to physically start. 8.2 wks today, bean only 6.5. Have had no spotting or cramping yet, although as soon as I decided to call and schedule a dnc a little while ago I felt some crampies coming on. I can't stand the thought of carrying this for a week or more and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I want it done. Plus I've already been through 3 natural m/c, they're not pretty and they hurt. I'm definitly leaning towards the dnc, if I'm not starting with these cramps I'm feeling. Anyway, bizarre as it sounds we can be m/c buddies together and then ttc, and then due date buddies afterwards. ;o)


abi_77 - February 21

Hi Bumblebee, I am sorry to hear about your loss. If you want to have a conclusive answer for why you miscarried. You should consider collecting tissue when you miscarry or have a D & C and send it for chromosome testing. I have had 2 miscarriages. I am glad I sent the tissue after D & C for testing. The fetus had Down's. If you decide to have D/C make sure they don't discard the tissue after surgery and tell the doctor to send it for testing. Good luck.


Bumblebee - February 22

Hi Beebee - I am also half thinking now of d&c. My last mc went just fine (in a way) even tho it was a lot of cramping, fainting, and bad laborish pains, it was all over in one day... and I do remember then I never want this again and if labor pains are like this, then I don't want to be preg either. But just like every month I forget the PMS and cramps of last af's, I think my body has forgotten the pains of last mc also... even tho my mind remembers. I got prescrip for vicodine, but don't know if that will be enough or if would want to even use it when it comes right down to it... but don't know how I will think when I am in the middle of the pains. Anyway, I hear the risk of uterus scarring with d&c , although it is minor risk, it does concern me for future pg's. And same time I also heard that d&c cleans it out well and makes next preg more chances to be viable. My doc doesn't commit one way or the other, but did tell me of the minor risk, and left the decision to me. Maybe I will go ahead and sched the d&c for now... I can always change my mind as the date gets closer? WEll, that was my mind's rambling... which did help me get closer to next step to take. ABI - Do u know if they can test any tissue that comes out or does it have to be fetus? Reason I ask is that they said mine may be a blighted ovum since they could not see anythin in the u/s. So, just curious if I do collect the tissue if that will help even w/o fetus. THanks so much... Oh and ABI - R u pg now or ttc now or taking a break? When was your last mc? BETTYG - Are you still doing acupunc now?


abi_77 - February 23

Hi Bumblebee: My first m/c was a blighted ovum it happened feb06, my most recent was october 07. The second one was testes. My doctor told me they can test any tissue, so blighted ovum should be fine. My doc also informed me that blighted ovum is caused by chromosomal abnormality. I am sure they can test the tissue. Check with your doctor.


bettyg - February 24

Hi Abi_77 - It sounds like we're on the same unfortunate schedule - I m/c Feb 06, Oct 06, Feb 07 and Oct 07. Needless to say, I don't like these months anymore. I've gotten a little superst_tious over the years. Bumblebee - I haven't had accupuncture in awhile. Only because my naturopath has been on maternity leave and I didn't care for her replacement. I've been missing it terribly. The place I go actually recommends Reiki once you're pregnant which I haven't tried but think I will next time. Why not.


abi_77 - February 24

bettyg I am truly sorry for all your losses. I am getting so nervous about this whole pregnancy thing. I am going to get IUI next month. I am really nervous about having another m/c. I don't think I can handle it anymore. The worse part is I don't have any problem expect for PCOS. I don't even have a ovulation problem. But it looks like all my eggs are bad. I have been smoking for last 7 years. I never smoked more than 5 or 6 cigs a day, and now I quit smoking. I am worried that all the cigs I smoked ruined my eggs.


Bumblebee - February 25

Hello girls - Finally met the fert spec. Nothing's happening to me yet w/ the m/c. But he recommends I do the d&c next week. Been too long since the embryo stopped growing (so hard to say died)!! So, I am sched it. Also am doing all the infert testing and see what comes of it. We're now leaning towards the IVF since he said I am 38 and don't want to lose time w/ more m/c. Anyway, pray I m/c soon naturally before week is over!! Many thanks... BEEBEE - U done w/ the mc now? Sorry if I am not keeping good track. Bettyg - I know what u mean, when that month comes around - it's like it carries a bad vibe.... Do a cleansing of your home or room in that month - just by saying some nice words or playing some nice tibetan bowl music or lighting some incense. I used to think this is just so naive, but then noticed I myself felt more at peace after --- so, it may not be exactly WHAT you do, but just that you do something sweet and meaningful to you with the Intention of cleansing and renewal. What do ya think? Bunch of new age c___p, eh? :) Just kidding... Hope if u try, you feel good, either way. ABI - Did u do a PCOS treatment already before going for IUI? My friend did that, although she did IVF and it was successful after completing PCOS treatment. I wish u the best with IUI - It's a huge step (at least for me) to finally decide on this route for my next try...


bettyg - February 25

Bumblebee - Good luck over the next week. And thanks for the advice. I'm pretty much game for anything these days. I'm definitely not one to memorialize anything I have. We're finally decorating our 3rd bedroom, aka nursery, which I'm excited about. Not sure what we're going to do with it and I don't really care as long as it's something. I was planning on burning all of my cards and u/s pictures to help with cleansing but didn't realize how hard it would be to find a place to burn stuff so I still have the paper things but have returned my sister's baby clothes she gave me. abi - good luck with IUI.


abi_77 - February 26

Bumblebee I am getting treatment for PCOS with metformin. I will let you know if IUI works.


Bumblebee - February 27

BETTYG - I was also just looking up for a Reiki pract_tioner to try... in addition to acupunc I am doing now... and was also looking for a good Naturopathic. Why not ! Except the costs may kill me - so I will have to strategize this. Do u feel you need to burn the u/s pics? Can I ask why? I kept mine, cuz I feel I would have done that if the baby had born. :) I guess it's my little proof that I CAN get prego... With all the doubts of my femininity. BEEBEE - How are u doing now - my m/c / recovery / ttc / due date buddy! :) I am glad to have you as a partner in this madness. Did the dnc do thru? Hope all is fine. I know it is a real tough time after it occurs emo's , and we are here for you. ABI - I hope the PCOS clears up... Did they say if the previous m/c due to PCOS? Just curious - good to know they are on it's treatment now. TDO - How are you? AF yet - You must have... U plan to wait a few months? **** No progress with me... I started some other herbs, and hope they will help. Did 20 or so vials of blood tests today based on fert spec's to rule out everything or treat for anything that shows up. I thought I would go ahead with this now, so by the time they evaluate the results, hopefully I will be done with m/c and moving on to brighter hopes. Found out insurance will not cover IVF> And my acupunc and midwife both think I will get pg myself again, but leave the choice to me. Well, I have enough time to think about that. They are both very encouraging and very supportive, so I am really lucky.



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