Want To Be Alone After M C

12 Replies
Sc - April 17

Is it normal to just want to be alone after a m/c? I found out 2 days I had a missed m/c and since then I've just wanted to be alone. My boyfriend really wants to be with me at this time but I just feel much better alone. does anyone else feel that way?


Jill - April 17

Sc-I felt the same way when I first had my m/c. And even to to this day, I still find myself at times wanting to be alone, and my m/c was 5 weeks ago. People will and should keep trying to reach out to you because one day you will want them to be there. You may even find that you want them to be there but don't want to have to ask for them to be there. You may just want them to know that you need them at that time. I struggled with this a lot. I think it is normal to withdraw from people, but try not to isolate yourself completely because it will become very lonely. Let your boyfriend know that even though you love him, this is a really difficult time for you and you need time to sort things through for yourself. But also let him know that there will come a time when you will want him to be there and share your feelings with you, but you don't know when that will be. You will find your moods changing from minute to minute, and it can be frustrating for the people who love you, but tell them to hang in there with you because you will need them down the line. I hope this has helped, and by all means everything that you are feeling right now is normal. Let me know how you are doing. Take care.


elyse - April 17

After my m/c 5weeks ago now i to wanted to be alone i felt tired and just didn't and could'nt talk without crying, but my mom came every day and so did my neighbour and they really helped me through. It is a very hard thing to accept and i feel you have to heel yourself inside alot as we have been through so much it's just a matter of time and you will be ready to talk some day soon. take care.


Jane - April 17

Yes it is perfectly normal sweeite do what you feel helps you but rea__sure bf as he'll be hurting too


Sc - April 17

Well thanks, I guess then I'm not a circus freak, lol. I do still talk to my bf on the phone, I find that easier and still like to communicate. It's just that right now I can't even take a shower or get off the couch or be around people because I spontaneously burst into tears without warning. I prefer to cry alone. I hope this pa__ses. Thanks everyone.


Staci - April 17

Sc-I was right there with you. My m/c will be 3 weeks ago tomorrow. All I wanted to do the first week and a half was cry by myself...you feel so alone and isolated that you cant bear being around others. My mom came over everyday for the first week, we would try to get out once I was feeling up to it, even if it was to walk around the block, get some fresh air if you can, it helps. I was afraid to leave my house the first week b/c it was my security place where I didnt have to see anyone and talk about it. My girlfriends were supportive, one in particular who called me everyday and made me get together with her, even for pizza at my house, to take my mind off of things, believe me, I cant thank her enough for it, it really helped get me up each day, knowing I had to be somewhere. I didnt work for a week, only due to being and feeling so depressed. You will get through this, I promise you, it WILL get better. I still fight it from time to time but am much better than I was and know I will get through this! thinking of you-take care


Sc - April 17

Unfortunately I live quite far away from my mother, so she can't really come visit. She has been calling and I can tell she is worried, but I find myself pretending to be stronger than I feel on the phone to her because I don't want her to worry too much about me. I think what I really feel is, I have to put up a strong front to other people, even my bf, because that is how people see me. As a really strong person. So now when I feel weak, all I want to do is hide in my apt be weak alone. And it's easy to do, because my close friends and family do not live in the same city as me. I do go out for walks with my dog, and that is probably the healthiest thing I do all day.


Staci - April 17

Sc-I hear you about putting up the front, I know what that feels like. Hang in there...this website really helped me to not feel alone, know that you are not alone. It will be a while before you feel "normal"-whatever that means right? But know that it WILL get better, i promise!


sarah - April 18

hi sc..well its been 3 weeks today and i feels like a anniversary each monday now ..im feeling the same sort of HERMIT type feelings ..im loving my home and space it feels so safe and comforting..when i go out it makes me feel vulnerable..talking to people about how im not pg anymore..and how to tell them that you lost the baby..it re-lives all those tragic feelings over again..i often cry when i tell people..its so hard being around pg women..at playgroup( my sons nearly 4) last week i was designated lifter as i was not a pregnant one anymore...that broke my heart again.. I saw a little saying on a sugar packet and its "What maybe Bitter to Endure may be sweet to remember" I like that..like to enjoy what we did have , pregnancy and baby there even if it was fleeting..good luck for the future..this time will begin your healing. xx


staci - April 18

sarah-I also am 3 weeks post D&C today, it does feel like an anniversary. I mark as a mental note, one week done. I know, having to explain over and over again the story makes you feel so vulnerable and back to that day. I really do think that is why I find comfort in being at home, exploring this website, finding support. Are you going to ttc right away? have you had a f/u appt yet? mine is this thurs. we were on vacation last week so I couldnt go after 2 weeks f/u. how do you know when you ovulate after a m/c? thanks


Kathy Z. - April 18

I also wanted to be alone after my m/c on 3/22. I didn't want to do anything or see anyone. I just wasn't up for it. I think everyone has their own way of dealing with their grief, and it's all normal. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks past m/c for me, and I feel like I'm in limbo waiting for my period to come. (I think I ovulated within the first two wks after my m/c, but I was still bleeding, so I wasn't bd then, so I think I missed my opportunity this month. I can't wait for af to come so I know where my cycle is! Waiting is so hard for me right now!


isabelle - April 19

I also want to be alone. It's as if I am very distracted: I feel like being still, reading, or daydreaming, and don't want to be interrupted. I have less focus, too (television, for example). I have a husband and daughter and feel a little guilty about how little attention I'm paying them. I just want to be in my own dreamworld for awhile. I also wondered if anyone was experiencing this feeling!


Kathy Z. - April 19

Hi Isabelle - yes, I have the same feelings, especially the losing focus thing...my dh and I usually watch tv at night, and I find myself losing focus of the show and I start thinking about the m/c. Then my dh will talk to me about the show and I'll be like "what just happened, I missed it". I think it's perfectly normal, but I wish I wasn't thinking about it so much.



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