Why Are People On This Board Talking About Pregnancies

59 Replies
Fearful - November 1

I do post on this site. I am pregnant. I have had three miscarriages. I am so fearful of another miscarriage, night and day I feel my b___st for pain. I cry when I don't wake up feeling sick. I get depressed everytime I have a cramp. I cannot bring myself to post on the other sites. I do not feel like I can. Yes, I am pregnant again, after three hellacious losses. I am not bragging. I can not find that excitement right now. I only feel fear. For anyone to tell me that I don't have a place on this website is just as hurtful to me as hearing about my pregnancy might be to others. I have friends on this website who are not pregnant again, but they have been a lifeline of support and a sounding board of thoughts. I can not give them up right now. I may not know what others are exactly feeling or have been through, but that street goes both ways.

 

HELLO - November 1

Guys, it is not about whether or not you deserve to mourn loss and be scared. Did you even read the original post? Please respect the poster and stop talking about your new pregnancies!!!!! There are tons of other places to post about your pregnancies/babies, even in the miscarriage and loss forum that you are now in. All Grumpy wants is ONE post place where she doesn't have to hear about and talk about other women's pregnancies!!!!!

 

Re:Hello - November 1

I did read the original post. I understand what this person is saying, but I did take it personally and felt that if I was being told I shouldn't be somewhere, I wanted to give my reasons why I was here. It's not that this person said that they didn't want to read about others, its that the content of this thread struck me and I needed to respond.

 

Angry - November 1

I think the better point here is that if you are pregnant great all the power to you but the plain fact is that nobody here cares about the fact that your expecting again. Those of you that are pregnant and want someone to talk to about it need to start a thread that states that. There is no reason for any of you to come into another thread talking about your new pregnancies. Just as you don't want to have to listen to someone telling you where you can and can't post we don't want to listen to your tales of your new baby.

 

RE:Angry - November 1

Point taken as delivered. Praying for you all.

 

Sick of the bitterness..... - November 1

This whole thread SICKENS me!! Hello-don't you think that we all feel as though are hearts have been ripped out?!?! What makes your loss so much different than mine? I am angry, as well, but life MUST go on. You cannot be angry forever!! So what if we are ttc after our m/c. WHO IS NOT?!?! That is what this site is about. I think it is so harsh for you to say that you do not care about someone who is carrying a life, JUST as YOU DID!!!!!!! I get more depressed reading this thread than about the women who are now pregnant. My momma always tought me that if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all....

 

just end this thread - November 1

nobody from this moment reply to this thread! I cant belive i have just sat here 4 the best part of an hour and read it all. i must be mad. The whole thread is not worth reading i wish i hadnt read it. So please nobody else add to this thread its just ended up a thread were people mostly ones who may have probably supported each other in the past are venting their frustrations on each other. The thread is not worth getting upset about (LET IT GO) AND DONT ADD TO IT.

 

me - November 2

I would just like to say to everyone and grumpy some of these women helped me when i had no one that understood what i was feeling and they helped me through a hard time in my life and thank god they listened to me some of them may be pregnant again but goodluck i say i could never be bitter to them for that they are only continuing there lives but the frienship we have all built up is between us if you don't like it don't read if a line offends dont read it .its simple as nobody on here has the intention to upset anyone over being pregnant again and bragging as you say they are most likely trerrified and need the support of there friends when everyone else is sick and tired of listening to scan stories and how scared they are they know they will be listened to here and understood not judged.Good luck all.

 

to all the women. - November 2

Hi. I am so sad to see how everybody gets mad at the women who are pregnant again. I'm not pregnant and I lost my baby 6 months ago. I am still grieving and I know that the women who are pregnant again continue to grieve the baby that they lost. Some of the women that are pregnant again, are my friends and they helped me when I was lost and when I have a breakdown. They understand what we are all going through because they went through that and belive it or not they they are still grieving even though they are pregnant. They have a right to post threads here and nobody has the right to tell them that they are gloating. Belive me they are not gloating, they are worried and scared that the nightmare will repeat itself! We all lost our babies so why are some women resentful to the ones that are pregnant again? We all have the same pain in our hearts! If you don't want to respond to the women that are pregnant again just don't respond but there is no need to attack them! We should all be united and we should all help eachother in dealing with our losses, fears and breakdowns. Instead, there is all this bitterness! What happened to human compa__sion? Why are women so mean to eachother? I am so sorry for all the losses that everybody went through and I hope that you could all find peace in your hearts. There is not one day that I don't think of my little one and as my due date approaches my heart sinks even more. My baby is dead and just like all of you I have pain but I think that that women who are pregnant again deserve our support and respect. God bless you all.

 

Please stop posting - November 2

Let's just let this thread die. Please. For the love of God.

 

Beth - November 2

Women trying to conceive and especially those who are already pregnant definitely should be more sensitive to those women who come to this website with raw emotions who are still suffering the pain of losing a pregnancy that is still ongoing or fresh in their memories. FYI, there are other websites that specifically and clearly state that if you are pregnant OR trying to conceive you should definitely NOT post to a "pregnancy loss" board (it doesn't take much intelligence to figure this out but apparently this is a difficult concept for many women to grasp). I'm surprised this website doesn't do the same and post an advisory to protect the grief-stricken women who are truly in need of this website! Grumpy's a little too grumpy but she has a right to be and she is absolutely right; some of the women out there are self-absorbed and very insensitive!! Let's help each other out let's stop making each other feel worse. Let's pay attention to where we are posting our messages! Go to a "Trying To Conceive" board instead of this one if that's where you belong!!

 

Ta Da - November 2

You hit it right on the head Beth. This board DOES NOT state that if you are pregnant OR trying to conceive you should definitely NOT post. I agree that if someone is going to start a thread that is going to discuss their pregnancy that they should be sure to clearly list it in the t_tle so anyone that wishes to avoid it, may, but please lets not start to question peoples intelligence if they have not done so because each person is different and while one person may be irritated by hearing of someone elses good fortune, it also may be just what the next person needs to keep going.

 

Info - November 2

SIMPLE SOLUTION: for questions about your miscarriage or pregnancy loss OR to discuss issues related to your miscarriage OR loss of pregnancy this is the correct place. For ALL OTHER discussions, please go to the pregnancy-info.net "Home Page" then to Q & A or simply click on the "Forum" b___ton at top of screen and click on a more appropriate topic. Suggested topics: "Signs of Pregnancy, "Problems Getting Pregnant", "Pregnancy Tests", "Signs of Pregnancy". There are some other wonderful discussion threads for women elsewhere on this website who are pregnant or trying to conceive. THIS THREAD SHOULD BE DEDICATED TO ALL GRIEVING WOMEN ONLY.

 

Re INFO - November 2

Until there is a special forum for "TTC after M/C" or "Pregnant after M/C and Scared" I will continue to post to this forum, but I will mark my thread appropriately . I suggest people who are still deep in the trenches of grief should list in their orginal post that they can't bear to hear about any pregnancies right now. Hopefully, everyone can respect everyone else's feelings. If and when you should choose to try again, you will be glad that there are women here who will rally around you and help carry the weight of anxiety. But until then, and since everyone has had a chance to vent, I personally will start a thread who need to be heavy-hearted right now.

 

Brooke - November 2

I tried to post but lost it. I will start over. I wanted to say I am on the going for july/august babies thread. I have heard others refer to this thread, so I decided to check it out. I think soholady referred to us in her post. We have all lost babies on this site. It is not like never lost a child. Some of the women have had multiple losses. We are all working together, greiving the loss of our child, and have become friends in the process. Sure occasionally one of the ladies becomes pregnant. That is wonderful. We are happy for them and hope the same will come our way soon. They are so supportive of me and each other. We might bash the occa__sional preganat women we see on the street, but we don't always mean it, it is just a tension releaser. This website has been very helpful to me in my healing process. To Erin, I think you should start a thread for women with multipule m/c's. I lost my baby this year at 24, but hurt the same as someone in their 30's or 40's. I hope everyone on this site finds what they are looking for some day. I hope you all find peace, and can look back on your lost baby(ies) with love (which I'm sure you already do). I just don't think that putting down women who come on this site to find answers to questions and hope for the future is the answer. If you don't like hearing stories of women who have gone through this horrible time, and finally get pregnant again, it is as simple as not clicking on that thread. I do think women should respect this thread in the sense of not talking about their current, healthy pregnancy, but it is hard for us to respect you when the t_tle is so provoking. I will not read this thread again, because I am taking my own advice, as to not click on it if it sounds demeaning. I know you are greiving and have a horribly broken heart. I just hope in time it heals some. Sister: no one is trying to force happiness on you or anyone. They are happy for themselves, as you may be some day. When I finally get pregnant again, I am going to want the world to know. This thread should be renamed to say " Grieving for my lost baby, please no happienss here. I really don't mean that to sound horrible, but that is the message I get when I read it. Erin: I will feel the same way when I do get pregnant again someday. I will be scared until I see that baby take its first breath and hear a normal heartbeat. That is completly normal, and I think everyone here feels that way. I know a lady that is in her 40's that has had recurrent m/c's. She has one child between all of the losses. She had multipuld D&C's. She went to a specialist who told her she is not m/c'ing because she has had her lining sc___ped (from d&C) so much that it is scared, and she had to have the scaring removed. Has your doctor made sure there is just not alot of scaring present that just won't allow the egg to implant? It would be worth checking out if you haven't already. Best wishes to you all.

 

To Ta Da - November 3

Take another look at Grumpy's comment, the operative word is "boast"--Grumpy and others who have responded to this thread are complaining about women who "boast" about their babies in response to a woman who has just miscarried. A woman who is deeply in pain, who has just miscarried, had a stillbirth or is about to miscarry will not want to hear someone else's joyful announcement of her BFP or other cliche comments like "You'll be ok next time because I had a baby after my miscarriage". Whether the "website specifically and clearly states that if you are pregnant OR trying to conceive you should definitely NOT post to a "pregnancy loss" board" is irrelevant. It just goes without saying: NO woman with fertility problems (like Grumpy and many others) wants to hear a boastful pregnancy announcement or a comment like "it'll be ok next time". Did you even read what Grumpy said? She's spent all her time and money on fertility programs and is hopeless. "A little encouragement" on the basis of your pregnancy is not going to help people like Grumpy.

 

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