Why Does This Happen

4 Replies
Melissa - April 4

Exactly one week ago today I went to the doctor to get my 9 week ultrasound, come to find out my baby's heart beat stopped 2 to 3 days prior to tuesday I was so devastated with the situation that I spent the whole day going to different doctors but everyone of them gave me the same answer. Does anyone know why this happens? Especially when you take really good care of yourself.


jill - April 4

Melissa-I am very sorry to hear about your loss. From what my doctor told me, if there is a chromosomal abnormality, the body has a way of taking care of itself by stopping the pregnancy. chromosomal abnormality isn't the only cause of m/c,but I think that in the earlier stages of pregnancy it is the most common reason (based on what I have read). I beat myself up for a while thinking that maybe I might have caused it, even though I too thought I was taking really good care of myself. But it was nothing that you did or didn't do. Just know that this website helps a lot of us to get through day by day, and you will too. I hope you are doing well soon. Just take one day at a time.


Kara - April 5

Mellisa - I am so sorry about your baby. I read that if you evaluated all the eggs a woman releases during her child-bearing years on average only 1 out of 4 would be capable of producing a full term pregnancy. Be good to yourself these next few weeks.


Alison - April 5

Melissa, unfortunately approx 1 in 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage. (It's strange how doctors tell you this to rea__sure you cos it certainly didn't make me feel any better about it!) I have been pregnant twice and miscarried twice, however I've been told the majority of women go on to have a healthy pregnancy the next time (at least that's what I've been told) It isn't anything we did or didn't do. Jill was right about it likely being a chromosomal abnormality. I too have been told early losses are caused by this. My first loss was like yours in that I had a scan and there was no heartbeat. My second was a blighted ovum which is where the sac and tissue develops but not the baby itself (or it does but is reabsorbed very early so it's never seen) All miscarriages are very sad however they happen. When I had my first, lots of people we know started to share with us how they had had one in the past too and we didn't even know! Anyway, I hope you are receiving lots of love and support-just take things one day at a time. You will get through this and there will be happier times to come, just hang in there-take care xxx


SC - April 5

I am so sorry for your loss. I m/c on 3/27 and had a D&C on 3/28 (My 30th bday). It is never easy to deal with, it is so hard to get through. Each day does get better, slowly but surely. I have found comfort in this website and reading what others have to say, you dont feel so alone, I have very few friends who have ever m/c and it does feel lonely from time to time. Hang in there. Good luck to everyone on future p/g's. I am anxious to start trying...any suggestions? I am still obviously awaiting my next cycle.



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