Trying For Nearly 19 Months Not Yet Succeeded Anyone

8 Replies
anju - July 1

Just need to know if there's anyone who's trying for past 20 months and still not succeded...i feel only ppl who hv experienced can understand my grief...i feel so depressed...need your prayers...last week i had missed my chums for more than 8 days and tested only to find a neg...was still hopeful and the very next day i get my chums...i cried my heart out whole one to even comfort...dont want my hubby dear to feel just cried very low even today..pls pray for me..i love u all there


sara - July 3

my husband and I have been trying for over a year. We have been married 6 years and have been off any type of birth control for the past 4. Since the beginning of this year, we have both been tested, we did the charting - everything! and it appears that we are both able to conceive. I had an HSG test done in early May. Was on Clomid in June and was hoping this was the month since I feel pregnant. But it appears that I may have started my period today. I know how you feel. I am always wondering, hoping. We have had names picked out for over a year and I know that my husband thinks I am obsessing over it, but I just truly want to be a mother! It is the most beautiful and natural thing in the world and I just don't get why it can't happen to us - or many other women. I get so mad when people become pregnant and they just discard the baby, or people who were too young to get pregnant or people who don't want to be pregnant - it's just so easy...and for others, we try and try and try and every month is more tears and pain and heartache and dread... Sometimes I feel like a complete failure. I know that when it is supposed to happen it will happen (we all hear those cliches) but I believe we are more than ready. I'm just so tired of the emotional rollercoasters. I want to be a mother. I know there are other women who share my frustrations. Best of luck to all of you!


anju - July 3

Sara, Thanks a ton for such consoling reply...I feel miserable dear...keep feeling why the hell did i take pills for that one year after mrrge...I am married for three years in india, its really bad when its more than three years and you still dont show up signs of having a baby...everybody wants to know why...and i a tired of telling everyone its not as if I dont want it.....I am really really religious and prayed so hard this time.....and was so so sure...sara, i cant stop crying and dont seem to get over it this time......i am angry with God, with myself, with just abt everyone....i know its not right, but....may be God will hear sooner or later.....u take care.....i wish so badly that both of us conceive around the same time...wudn't that be grrr8888.....i donno when i would o this time cos i got my chums on 30th, late by 8 days....lets see, ifit works in this cycle...pray for mepls...and i will pray for u all too....:-)


Sunny - July 5

I was told by some of the best MD's that it would be a Only God's will if I ever became pregnant again. My first pregnancy was difficult on my teen body. I finally went to an MD that said he would give me a tip. Some women have naturally thick mucous in their v____a. The sperm must swim through this to get to the egg. Women who battle for pregnancy may attempt to achieve pregnancy by taking 1/2 teaspoon to 1 teaspoon of cough medicine before intercourse the remain lying still when the "deed" is done. # months later I was blessed with positive test results. I lost this pregnancy 4 months in and was devestated. We attempted again and were again sucessful. I delv. my daughter 1 month premature but in the end we were blessed with an angel now 10 years old. Have faith and try any OLD WISE tale or tip people offer. One is bound to be right for you and your body. Best OF LUCK and GOD BLESS


anju to sunny - July 6

Hi Sunny, thanks a ton for sharing your experience...I would like to know how many cycles did it take for you to get pregs by using the cough syrup trick...also tell me whether cough syrup is to be taken each time before the act for the entire cycle or just during those all imp. fertile days.....will wait for your answer...good luck & God bless


Equuss - July 6

Hi ladies, :) . Well I'd like to start by saying that I was like you all. My husband & I tryed to concieve for yrs & had no luck. Thought something was physically wrong w/ us so money was thrown out the window on doc. appts. when nothing was wrong w/ us. Soon after, I sunk into a deep depression. I also too blamed god & hated everything & everyone. Specially ppl who had children, to me, it seemed like they were "always there in my face" so to speak. There was afew things that had happened in my life that I can't say here that turned my outlook on life around. Instead of constantly thinking about the things I didn't have, I started to be thankful for the things I do have in my life. ( & this is important) Stressing does you no good! It accually does damage when you are trying to get pg. Lemme explain, your body is picky & has to be perfectly ready to accept carrying an egg (baby). Stressing basically cramps your body into a "freezing" state. Believe me, I've been there. & I know it's really hard to have a good frame of mind when all you want is a bundle of joy. I also started praying to god again, but this time I wasn't praying for a baby, I prayed in thanks for all the ppl & things I did & do have. But I will tell you another thing that probly attributed is when my husband & I stopped having s_x to "make a baby" & started "making love", a few months down the road of "not thinking about making babies" is when we accually got pregnant. I'm hoping that can shed some light & hope.... Best advice I can give you & it may seem harsh but it will work in the long run is: Don't think about it. Don't stress. Eat right. Go on w/ your life & enjoy the things you do have! I'm sure alittle later down the road you'll hear the pitter-patter of little feet! :) ~Best Wishes & Prayers~


anju to Equuss - July 8

Hi Equuss, thank you so much for that valuable piece of advice....I know you are speaking out of experience....I too have heard that one needs to be completely at peace with oneself and free of any stress to be able to enjoy the blessing of motherhood.....but believe me, I never knew it could be this tough...try as I might to not think of it, i know its always at the back of my mind......i even make love with my husband just to achieve this, have a baby....I know its wrong but my interest has just gone down......i know God has been kind and we need to count our blessings rather than sit and crib abt things we dont have....but, somehow, I keep feeling why is he denying/delaying this most natural thing to me.....I too like you, have spent a hell a lot of money on medical examination....had a fibroid removal laparoscopy which was right at the uterine cavity in March'05 and my husband's count too seems low (2 millions)....but i know all it takes is that one strong sperm.....i guess i need to give it more time and stay relaxed.....but i just dont hv the heart to call it quits saying i dont want it...and then wait for the miracle to happen...its tough....:-(....How long after u said its enough of stressing that it happened for u ?...take care...try to reply....thanks again


Equuss - July 8

Hi again anju... Within just a few months (3 or 4) I got pg after yrs & yrs & yrs of being constantly let down. & I shouldn't have to say this cuz we both know that depression plays a big part too. I like said, I KNOW it is VERY hard. After awhile of not being able to concieve, I was thinking of all kinds of reasons of why this was happening to me, or for a better choice of words, why it wasn't happening to me. I thought I was pretty much worthless to my husband cuz I felt I couldn't bring anything more into our relationship. Seeing our friends having kids didn't help me much either, accually, it sank me into a deeper depression. I couldn't even getaway from it in my sleep, would wake up crying becuz of all the "baby dreams" I would have. I eventually had gotten out of the depression but that wasn't the end of it, I ended up getting p__sed off at the whole world, including god. Thought he hated me & he didn't love me. Even took it out on my husband & he took it out on me as well. He would demand "child or go back to work" & that didn't help any. I just finally got fed up. As much as I wanted my very own flesh & blood, I realized that it might not ever happen & had thoughts of adoption as a option. Honestly...I simply had no hope left & had given up completely. Figured that why should I be miserable & make everyone around me miserable. I had to find my faith again. (Not to bible thump) But I had to ask god to forgive me for the way I was & to give me strength to over come this. Each day that went by was hard but it did get easier. I started concentrating on the things in my life that made me happy. My husband for one. After alittle more time had pasted, concieving did cross my mind but when it did, I would quickly brush it off & think of something else, I HAD TO! or else I would be back at square one. becuz I was feeling better emotionally, I started eating right, taking better care of myself & was trying to better my life knowing in the back of my mind that I was barron.....All those yrs I did have a couple explain that I needed to stop trying so hard & that I was stressing my body too much...I took it in consideration but didn't live by it. Now I know!!!!!! To think that if I would have done that I wouldn't have had to go through all that mess in all those yrs. It saddens me to hear you going through the same problems as I did. First things first...Pamper the hell out of yourself, you deserve've been through alot already & now its time to kick back & relax. Enjoy the things you find relaxing or fun. For me, I found that I needed a quick replacement for not having a baby in the house w/ a dog or puppy & it accually works. I wouldn't say that it'll work for everybody but it helped me & my husband. We felt more of a family since we had something to love besides eachother. Here's something else that also helped my husband & I unstress from trying to concieve, taking a vacation or a small trip. That'll give you & your hubby some alone time to talk, to unwind & to getaway from the everyday life. (me & my hubby go fishing lol) One more thing, have the lines of communication between you & your love stay open. It's important to keep that bond nice & strong. I feel weird for telling you all this becuz well...I'm sure you know all this....its just hard doin it...One very last thing....If you could step outside of your body & be a big sister to yourself, what would you say to your little sis right now? .... - This post is getting pretty long so to sum it up, please stop worrying so much! Don't stress, relax, take it easy, pamper yourself & your hubby. Time may seem short But time is all you have right now.... Hope that makes sense. All my prayers are w/ you!!


anju to Equuss - July 11

Hi and a big thanks Equuss, I had tears in my eyes after reading your was as if my sis (mom would be too elderly !!) was talking to me...I was reading your reply in my office and tears just rolled and rolled....i am a corporate secretary and legal counsel for a corporate and its quite a high pressure job...i try not to strain too much, but i guess it can't be avoided.....God has been so kind to me throughout, i just feel, why is he doing this to me for such a natural thing as motherhood.....anyways, as u rightly said, the constant feeling is that time is running out, but actually time is what needs to strike, the right time...mine was a late mrrge by indian standards (29 as against the normal 23-24 yrs)...yet when God did find me the right one, its just much more than I could have husband is such a sweetheart, touch wood !!.......we are so much in love, in fact he just doesnt seem bothered by this inadequacy....i guess he is much stronger a believer than I am......As you rightly said Equuss, we just need to wait, all of us here, wanting a baby so badly.......i am sure, the end-result is going to be worth the wait for all us, for God will ultimately here us.....Equuss, you have been such a support in the process, can't thank you enough...which part of the globe do you belong to, if I can ask without sounding too intrusive? may mail me at "[email protected]" if you find the time and feel like it , and you can be sure of a quick you dear and may God fulfill all your wishes......take care.....and happy parenting :-) tell me how was it like when you finally got the news/confirmation of pregnancy....must have been boundless joy i am sure !!....bye for now.....take care



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