43 And Pregnant

187 Replies
naomi - September 11

im naomi im 18 years old and im engaged,my partner is 44 year old. i might be pregnent.but what i would like to know is would our baby be heathly with my partner being 44?? im scared of having a baby because i dont want nothing to be wrong with it. please help....

 

Diana - September 13

Hi ! I will be 42 on the 19th of this month and I am 13 weeks pregnant, not planned, I had an IUD. My youngest will be 20 next month ! If you have taken an in-home test and it is positive then you are pregnant !! I took 3 the day I found out and I could not believe it !!! I had to have the IUD removed and was at risk of miscarriage,but everything went fine, the baby is growing and so am I !! I have declined amnio because I will deliver this baby regardless unless something should happen before delivery. This is definately going to be a big change for us but we're getting use to the idea and are starting to get excited. I just hope that it is healthy and outside of that I am just trying hard not to put on alot of weight !! I knew there had to be more women out there my age and pregnant, I have encountered some people who act like I am some sort of circus freak !!

 

Jan - September 14

Congratulations to all of you who are pregnant and over 40. However, I just cannot believe there are so few of you with positive thoughts! I know there are a number of risks involved but so many women are opting to wait until later years to start their families and have had great experiences. I am sure there are more women over 40 who have had great pregnancies and healthy babies than those who have not. My husband and I are planning to start our family soon and I am 43! I am healthy, I eat right and I workout a lot. I have more energy than most of the 20 year olds I work with. Come on ladies, let's start supporting each other with some positive thoughts. There are enough tests and procedures to help us through this. Relax and enjoy this wonderful experience. There are so many people who wish they could be in your shoes. The gift of life is a beautiful thing! Happy motherhood to all my 40+ friends!

 

Maureen - September 14

Hi Sharon-I am so happy for you, I am happy for me too! I am 42 (43 in Oct) and just found out I am pg! It's my first so I am very excited and worried too. I have similar thoughts as you on my age but I know I am healthy and am trying to remain positive. Keep the faith my dear! I am!

 

tama - September 15

dear confused,the answer is yes they try to scare you.i dont know why but they do.hang in there and good luck to you!

 

Caro - September 21

I am in the same shoes as you.Just found out I am 7 weeks pg. I am going thru this with alot of prayer. I was wondering if it is really necessary to have those tests donefor screening? Any ideas?

 

niki - September 21

I am 42 and i had miscarrage on April 2005, i waited for 4 months ,now i am trying to be pregnenet in this month,i wait for it impationtlly because of is the my first pregnency.Pls give me some advice.

 

Diana - September 21

Caro, You didn't mention your age. Congratulations ! Was this a planned pregnancy ? I was very grateful to have found this forum, it is a great way to share info. and support one another. Prayer is all any of us can rely on ! I go on Oct.13th for ultrasound and genetic studies. I declined amnio, what the ultrasound doesn't show as far as defects go,we will learn at birth (if any). I would carry it anyway so why risk it ? It is a matter of personal conviction.

 

Patricia - September 19

I share your fear. I am 43 and am about8 weeks pregnant. I too will be 44 at delivery. I have 2 precious little boys,age 6 and almost 4 (November 21). I have had 2 miscarriages since my youngest boy and have just felt like my family was not complete. I am petrified!! I had a sono 2 weeks ago and they saw a heartbeat so that is good, but I am not out of the woods. I too have been trying to not get too excited and I have nothing but fears that there is going to be something wrong with my baby or that I won't get to keep it. I don't want to face the heartbreak that I have already been through. I was thinking today that because I am trying so hard to brace myself and not get excited, I may just be feeding my own fears. Since I have been obsessing, I have this overwhelming feeling that there will be something wrong with this baby. I know logically that I should try to be optomistic but I am so frightened that I can't seem to overcome it at this point. I am thankful to God for this blessing and at this point, all I know to do is to keep praying!!!

 

luckynik - September 19

Naomi, the maternal fetal medicine doctor that I see told us that the male partners age does not affect your risk either way. Older man does not increase risk, younger man does not decrease risk...it's all based on us girls :) To respond to the other posts, I agree that the medical profession does not do much to put "older" moms at ease. I think too much emphasis is placed on what could happen, and not what usually happens...I could win the lottery and that hasn't happened yet!

 

stash - September 23

I am 44 and due in march (twins) These are our 1st. I think I am older and wiser and more ready than I've ever been! We declined all the tests because no matter the outcome we will keep them. We are just so happy, I try not to let other peoples comments bother me, most people are very supportive and happy for us. So far the pregnancy has been going great with no problems! Think positive and stay healthy

 

Carly67 - September 24

I see many of you talking about the gloom and doom of pregnancy as older moms. I too have worried and do worry. I am 39 and 12 weeks pregnant with my fourth child. My mother had her fourth at 38 and her 5th (me) at 2 weeks shy of 44. Back then there was no genetic testing. Many women in my neighborhood had their last babies in their 40's. My mother told me her obstertrician never gave her gloom and doom but told her it was her 5th child, she had delivered 4 healthy children already and she being pregnant again meant she was strong and healthy. The trend now is more and more women are becoming older moms. Look at Gina Davis, Elizabeth Edwards who had a child at 48 and one at 50, Anna Nicole Smith, Pricilla Presley, and so many more. Locally I know a woman had her first at 44 everything went fine, another at 42 same outcome, I could go on and on. I get depressed reading some of these posts because it seems so depressing however when I balance that with the reality I know I feel better. I always worry and I have had a lot of tests, I am not having an amnio but I had a Nucchial Translucency that was normal. The only test I have taken that I am being sent to a maternal fetal specialist on Friday is toxoplasmosis which I have in a separate post on this site. The doctor has told me it is nothing due to the results it is very sensitive and most likely a false positive. I can't help worrying and too feel will I ever realize the dream of delivering this baby full term and healthy. I try to go to these boards for support but many of you have been filled with the gloom and doom from your doctors and it tempers my hope. I wish there was a site of all women our age who have delivered healthy full term babies that we could derive hope from.

 

in the woods - September 24

Carly67, there is such a site - www. babycrowd.com, the Stay at Home Moms section. I'm there, I'm 42 with 1 1/2 and 3 year olds. There is a 39 year old woman with 1 year old, a 45 year old woman with 4 and 7 year olds. Many other ages are there, too, which makes it realistic. If you have a question about a baby or about older kids it's the place to get advise, or to give one.

 

wendy41 - September 26

vic i hope everything goes well stay positive im 41 mis/c in july...tryin hard to ttc pray for me and ill pray for you

 

happpygal - September 29

I'm 43, conceived naturally, first chid (boy!), and 32 weeks tomorrow. 2 prior miscarriages. Don't give up!

 

alley24 - October 13

dont worry, I am 44 now was 43 when i found out I was pregnant and I am due in 7 weeks, things are good, and have had no problems, funny thing is I had horrible pregnancy with my last three, placenta previa, preclampsia, nothing this time, he is small, but all my kids were,I was like you the doctors freaked me out I had my ultrasounds, and did what they told me, i did not get a amnio, and things are great, I am 32 weeks now, and have a very active baby dont worry, they say bad things but they told me the cheances of ds was 1-10 well my test came back 1-1000, i have eggs of a 33 year old. Look at all the woman now that have babies that are older and are fine, I think you take care of yourself better, at 20-30 you dont care you do but your like it will never happen to me, you just watch yourself better, dont worry you will be fine. things have changed SO much since I had my last one, I have a 22,19 and 14 and in 14 years things are so diffrent, went to child birth cla__s last night and went to a tour, and they say after the baby is born you will take a jaccuzzi bath, the freaked me out, we were always told never take a bath after 6 weeks, wow have things really changed, also no more episomitys

 

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