44 Lost Baby At 19 Weeks What Now

8 Replies
Leeanne - July 24

My husband and I have been married 17 years and have one 10 yr old daughter. We were very content with our family size, and it was by choice all these years that we had one child. Well, we had a surprise pregnancy happen and the three of us were so happy about it, felt it was just meant to be, and were looking forward to it. Having lost it now puts doubt in my mind if it was meant to be after all, but I cannot get the baby fever out of me. I really want one now but feel it's too late. Husband says he never really knew how much he'd love having another until he accompanied me and saw ultrasound pictures throughout. Went to the doc for my first checkup and pap post-loss, and he said to let nature take its course, he's very reassuring and age plays no significant role in his mind for me. I am wondering if the baby fever is hormonal and will pass, or will it just stay in the forefront of my mind. I am almost afraid to actually try to get pregnant, as another loss will put me back in this position again. I am silently wishing this would have happened 5 years ago and put me into baby fever mode then. Any words of wisdom out there? Thanks.


Confused - July 25

I'm very sorry for your loss, and will say a prayer for you and your family. I hope you don't mind my asking, but do you know what caused the miscarriage? Was everything progressing fine until then? I've never heard of a pap post-loss. What is it? Anyway, I've been told miscarriages typically happen in the first trimester, usually no later than 12-14 weeks. I've heard when you're older, your odds are even more increased for a miscarriage, but even then I've been told they typically happen in the first trimester. Anyway, I'm 47 and conceived naturally with my current (sixth) pregnancy. So far, everything's good. I'm in my 10th week. Other than that, I have four children from my first marriage (had a miscarriage at six weeks during my second pregnancy). I don't know if that helps encourage you that even at an older age, you can still get pregnant. But, to answer your question, it's very possible that your "baby fever" feelings are hormonal, in part. Have you talked with your doctor about them? I would encourage you to do so, if you haven't.


to Confused - July 25

Thank you. Congrats to you in your 6th pregancy. That is great to hear. I wish the best for you. I think you are confused because you interpreted a loss as a m/c. I really don't want to get into the whys and wherefores of my loss on this board for Preg and Over 35, it doesn't belong here, as I just was hoping for some wisdom from anyone who has had a loss and felt the strong desire to want to try again, that's all. Thanks for yours. Congrats again! Leanne


Tammy - July 25

Leeanne- My sympathy to you and you family fo your loss. I found out I was pregnant at 45. It took me 3-4 months to accept it. I have a 20 yr old daughter and a 4 yr old son. Once it set in, I am looking forward to it and am excited. You are not too old and if you want another baby, go for it. I don't think the yearning will go away. Like you said, you had 1 child by choice and once you accepted the fact that you were pregnant, you were excited.


to Tammy - July 25

Thank you for your thoughts on this. And best of luck to you. Leanne


TO LEEANNE - July 31



cher - August 1

I'm 44 and pregnant. I had a m/c at 40, 42, and again at 44. I wasn't "trying" but I'm very lazy about taking any medicine regularly. Any way, after the last m/c, my whole family decided that it was really a great thing, and we really really wanted a new addition. I think my miscarriages were the result of blood clots, and I take baby aspirin every day. I'm still "doctor shy" as it is hard to believe that this one might actually make it, so I'm not making a dr appt, but taking a wait and see att_tude. But after the last m/c, I couldn't think about anything but having another baby. This didn't happen after the earlier m/c, only the one at age 44. I was not in a baby fever mode until now. Maybe it's midlife crisis, or maybe it's because the time is right... now.


Tammy - August 2

Cher- I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. After my last mis, I had to be hospitalized and that scared the ****out of me. In some crazy way it made me want to do it again. So here I am, 12 weeks from delivery and a little nervous. I hope this pregnancy goes well for you. I did not see a doctor until I was almost 11 weeks. Once I saw the ultrasound I felt releived.


To Cher - August 5

Thank you for your input. Midlife crises did come to mind when asking myself why am I feeling this, and so did the other, maybe the timing is just right. Strange how and why things happen, isn't it? Best of luck to you this time. Leeanne



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