Am I Too Old HELP

13 Replies
Susie - November 2

I am 39, 40 next year. I have two devine children from my past marriage. My last mariage is that...a past marriage, which also ended in difficulty but I have overcome the pain and have remade my life. I have been fortunate enough to meet a lovely man 5 years younger. He adores my children, they adore is wonderful. He and I are now thinking about another child as we desire a child together and my children do too.We live in France where people have kids really young, although this is now changing and 20% of births last year were with mothers over 36. Anyway there is also a kind of anti feeling that its egotistical to have kids at our age. What is the general feeling. I'd like some womens opinions. Thanks so much. Susie


Mommy _Wanna_Be!! - November 2

If you want a child, if your healthy enough to have a child, you should go for it!! There is no reason not to, and dont worry about what "society" says about is your life!! Good luck!


Maidencanada - November 2

Hi Susie, I also have 2 children from a previous marriage and my man and I are trying to concieve. He as yet has no children and we miscarried in July and are trying to get pregnant again. Only difference is I am 41!


Niki - Aust. - November 2

Dear Susie, “EGOTISTICAL”????…… What is egotistical about wanting to bring a child into a family with two loving parents and two brothers/sisters who will adore it? You are only 40 years Young…. In this day and age with our life spans you are barely middle age?? My father was 40 when I was born (my mother a few years younger & I am 28 now), but I would not change it for the world… it’s a biased opinion but he is the greatest man who will ever live (to Me). If your doc/OB says that you are healthy enough GO FOR IT…. Fair enough you might have to have a couple of extra tests during the pregnancy, but so do “younger” mums sometimes…. No matter what age, a mother’s love, the joy of family, and the preciousness of life can never change. You are who you are, everyone is different, anyone who may look at you because you will have a cute preg belly at 39 and a new baby at 40…. Well, they are SO NOT worth your time…. GOOD LUCK…. BABY DUST… Hugs xo xo xo Nikki – Australia.


Nimbi - November 10

Know what?Having a child is beautiful and always a blessing.What others want to think of it is not relavent.Go for it!


vieux? - jeune? - November 10

looking for an answer from anywhere in north america the concensus of having a family is rated by knowledge , education , career , and especially economics and having children here older is more common and yes they are very egotistical about women not having children when they are young ... like you said "kind of an anti feeling " just the reverse of France . You will be about 60 when your child leaves home ."meilleur/pire... ??? who knows?


mother777 - November 11

some kids never leave home. some leave at 30 what is the difference. do you live for later or now?


to mother 777 - November 11

first thing which came to mind is the commercial "Can't get your kids to leave home "! Stop cooking with Cheese lol


Alison - November 11

I was 38 when my daughter was born. She's a beautiful, intelligent, caring wee la__s. Now I'm 43 and 12.3/40 pregnant!! I've just had the 12 week scan, to check the possibility of Downs Syndrome, which was 1:23 before I had my scan. After my scan, this decreased to 1:124 - by the statistics. However, Radiologist said (and I work for her sometimes, so she would be "up front" with me!) that this baby "pa__sed its first test with flying colours!" - in other words, the particular measurement for my baby was well within "normal limits"! So, while you must be aware of the increased risks of being an "older Mum", just go for it anyway - I say!!! - All the best!!


tam - December 15

i had 1 at 35 and another at 37 their beautiful


Robyn - December 16

Hi Susie! 40 is not too old to have kids! I live in Canada, so the opinions are probably a bit different, but if your healthy then go for it! I am 36, and hoping for my fourth child this year. I went through a similar situation as you have, and my children are now 13,15,and 18. They are very excited about the idea of mom having a baby, and so is my husband of 10 years. Older women are often more stable as they know more about who they are and have more life experience. Quite often we are also more financially stable. Let us know what happens! Have fun.........


mmmmmm - December 26

funny.... no one blinks an eye if a MAN over 40 decides to start a family......


Bridget - December 26

What baloney. There is a kind of reverse discimination like that here in the U.S., some girls are too young emotionally to have kids but many 20 yr olds are perfectly ready for it and they get blasted for their decision, I've seen it on this board and elsewhere. I am also 39 years old,40 less than a month after my due date (2-22-06) and I wouldn't care what the "culture" of wherever I resided thought of my reproductive choices. If I were you, before I become PG, I would find a good, supportive OB/GYN who also has the knowledge and access to the necessary resources for managing a pregnancy for a woman over 35, so you are not hunting down these resources on your own once you become PG. Also, since they are a minority in France from what you say, there is probably a support group out there for women over 30 or 35 having children. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area where over 35 yr old mom's are common as rain and there is no censure and loads of support and I realize now how valuable it is. I wish you luck and joy and would love to hear if you are successful in your endeavor to be a mom again.


Ana - December 29

I will be 38 when my 2nd bay is more and my husband wants to have more children...



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