Are Hormones Clouding My Thoughts

4 Replies
WP - February 27

I'm 37 and 8 weeks and I don't know if I'm ready for this child. I have a 2-year-old that is fabulous, I just returned to work full-time since having him, I just lost all of my first-pregnancy weight and my partner and I just starting to get back to our old selves (if you know what I mean). We're not exactly plush and my income is the only reliable one right now. I am working full-time and going to graduate school so I don't become obsolete. I have been reading some of the other posts and I feel so selfish being stressed about this considering what some of the other women have gone through to get and stay pregnant. I am usually a strong and independent woman, but lately I can barely string two thoughts together. I'm sick and exhausted all of the time and I can't seem to sleep at night. I've talked to my partner about it and he really wants me to keep it. Could this be hormone-driven depression or am I too selfish to deserve this baby? I don't want to end up resenting the child and being a bad mother. I'm so tired and confused.


Bridget - February 27

I'm not speaking from experience (I have only one child, a 1 year old boy, I'm 40)but just want to give you some encouragement. You have legitimate concerns although the stress from the concerns might be exacerbated by hormones.No one is ever truly completely ready for a child because life throws curve b___s, I know it sounds corny and pat but it's true. Your concern over being a good mother shows that you have the desire and the will to be the best you can. I'm sure another baby will be trying and hard and you'll be tired alot and sometimes broke. But there isn't anything that can take the place of a child of your own and you know how that feels from having the first one.If your partner wants you to keep the baby you know you'll have support there and that's where it counts. Another baby will bring even more love into your world and if you had planned to have another, the age difference is nice, they will play together.You'll make it through and will be glad you did, I'm sure. Try to eat well (that's important for depression and your tiredness), protein and not too much sugar and drink lots of water. Good luck and keep us posted.


suze42 - March 1

ALOT of it maybe hormones...I am not a "depressed" person, but betwn 6-15wks I was really down and doubtful. My fatigue was keeping me down ..the winter weather...i had the blahs. But around 15-16wks, I did start to feel more like myself...Im still quite tired, but my appet_te is normal and spring, thank GOD is right around the corner. Im very optimistic!!! I hope your cloud lifts as well!!


sonia989 - March 1

Hi WP, I am having my first ongoing preg at 35 (36 next month) and I have a total case of pregnancy brain, too. I have also been working on a 2nd degree, but I had to quit 2 out of 3 cla__ses because, like you, I can barely string 2 thoughts together. The way I look at it, I can always go back to school/work after the baby is born, but I can't take for granted that I can always have a baby later. It took 2 years and 3 IVF cycles to get this one. Even though I went through so much trouble to get preg, I felt depressed and screwed-up in my 1st trimester, when I realized I couldn't function like I normally do. The common portrayal of super moms in the media, who hold demanding jobs with ease while preg, is not realistic! At least not in my case and in the case of many women I know, especially those who are preg over 35. So, give yourself a break! You've got pregnancy brain, just like the rest of us. :) I'm sure you wlll be able to get everything back on track soon enough. Just wait tll your 2nd tri and you'll probably feel better physically and emotionally, although based on my experience I can't guarantee you'll be any less spaced-out.


WP - March 5

Thanks to all who wrote. I was fortunate to have some time off work and I slept and slept and slept for days. I am beginning to come around to my old self. I don't remember being so cloudy in my first pregnancy, but I was probably too excited to notice (or care). I was particularly comforted when hearing that even after IVF cycles Sonia felt a bit dismayed too. Thanks again for the support and good luck to all of you.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?