How Do Your Older Children Feel About This Pregnancy

14 Replies
MommyAgain - May 13

I have 16 and 20 year old sons. My youngest is absolutley thrilled to be having another sibling. He has been pitching in more around the house, enjoying helping us choose baby things, and has even planned to make the baby a blanket or stuffed animal. (He's a whiz with a sewing machine!) I'm very pleased with his reaction.. but he keeps saying it better be a boy lol.. I hope he is as happy if it is a girl! My oldest has the opinion of "how could you do this to me?" Though it has nothing to do with him. He is off in his own world and lives on his own, but he hasn't been too keen on the news. I am trying to make him understand that this is my life and my journey.. it didn't stop to revolve around him. Hopefully he will mature and have a family of his own some day :)

 

Lisa - May 13

Initially, when i told my eldest daughter (18) i was pregnant....her first reaction was, 'mum, you are too old to be having another baby' lol. My other 3 children (16, 13, 10) were thrilled. The first time my eldest daughter saw her new baby sister, she cried...she was overwhelmed! They absolutely adore her!!

 

Tammy - May 13

When I brought my son home, it was my daughter's Sweet 16th birthday. I was surprised to tell her at first but she was so happy that she was not going to be an only child anymore. With this pregnancy, she is now 20 and very excited. My 4 yr old on the other hand wants no part of it. He tells me that he doesn't want any noisy baby. I found out yesterday that I am having a boy. My daughter is a little disappointed and my son still wants no part of it.

 

TJ - May 14

What is it with older children? When I told my 14 year old I was pregnant she said that was "lame". Oh well, hubby and I are thrilled!

 

m - May 15

my 15 yo daughter was kinda upset at first, just at first, now she's so excited!

 

mom35 - May 16

My daughter (14) was kinda upset also at first but know she is just so excited...I guess it had to sink in first.lol

 

Jessy - May 23

Hey, I was the last of 4 kids and for the longest time I was begging my mom to have another, I didn't even care if she adopted (cuz her tubes are tied) because I wanted a little brother or sister. But after awhile I realized that was selfish, because there always has to be a "last" child and I guess I was just stuck with it and I had better be thankful for my lot in life;)....It was my parent's decision (with much pressure from their family) to get the tubes tied after 4 and so it's none of my business, but I AM thankful that I even HAD brothers and sisters. Remind your 20 year old that he is fortunate that he doesn't have to actually LIVE with the baby...unless he plans (somehow without warning you) to come back and live at home again, and the thought of having to deal with ANOTHER little brother or sister at home (in his head) is really abhorring. Yes, maturity is definitely somthing he needs if he actually thinks a baby FROM HIS MOTHER is going to have any effect on his life if HE'S ALREADY MOVED OUT!? Come on, now, that level of selfishness(on his part) is REALLY absurd! He should just be happy that YOU get to have MORE kids to enjoy for ANOTHER 20 years! If that's really what you want, it's wonderful that you got it, don't you think? It may even be a miracle that you conceived. I can't imagine the reaction my parents' would get from all their family if they had "one more" it would be crazy! But I think it would be totally awesome, too! My mom has the "empty nest blues" and I can't help but think she would've been happier with some more "to last her longer"..but it's too late for her, now, she's going through menopause. I would have been so happy if I knew she was having one when I was 20...but honestly, I don't think she could've handled it, she was already 50 by then...but when I was 10 (begging for another sibling) she was 40 and there could've been hope for her to have the strength to endure a little one for 10 more years..then after that they can handle themselves on their own a little better..so her age of 50 with a 10 year old wouldn't be so bad. I'm just saying this about MY mother because I KNOW her, but this probably doesn't apply to everyone..after all, if you wanted to adopt, it could be ANYTIME in your life that you choose! Even your 50's!!

 

kimmyg - June 26

i am 37.i have a 18 and a14 year old.My 14 year old is so excited i am pregnant .my 18 year old not as much.I think it depends on how close you are to the child.

 

Francesca - June 28

My 8 year old was devestated!! But not now quite exited, but trys not to show it. Good Luck

 

sonya - July 2

well, my soon to be 9 year old was not happy at all and it upset me how she was acting. I think she thought she would be "cut off" and she has just discovered about 3 months ago where babies come from and she said "oh my gosh that means you and daddy did that thing". She is more excited now.

 

Desiree - July 6

His "How could you do this to me" reaction DOES make sense. Here is why: I am the oldest sibling in my family, I am also 20 years old, AND I am in the Military which means I do not see my family as I am 3,000 miles away. When I was 19 (in the military then too) My dad and his wife had a baby. A brother! The thing is I have a lot of younger siblings and I am really close to them, but I have only met this one ONCE. this is sad for me because it is known amongst family and freinds that I really care for all of them. The worst part is there is another one on the way (another sister) in January, and I may NEVER know her, unlike the others! So when you say it has nothing to do with him heres how it DOES: he is basically saying "Thanks mom, you have given me a probably wonderful brother or sister who I may never know." Not that this is the 'right' response, its just feelings, and he shouldnt let his feelings hurt yours. I hope I was insightful. I had a new sister at 16 and I wasnt upset then because I wasnt an adult, and I got to know her. I am Due for my first in september which means my baby girl will have an Aunt younger than she is. Thanks to my dad....

 

To Desiree - MommyAgain - July 6

Actually, my oldest son suffers from several mental illnesses. He DOES believe no one is ent_tled to have their own lives unless they revolve completely around him. You'll never understand what I mean by that unless you wittnessed our history with him, or deal with someone with the same issues as him. He had basically removed himself from our family, all of us, long before this baby came along. I resent his comments and att_tude because my husband, younger son, and I have a wonderful relationship and life together and couldn't be more thrilled. My son doesn't even like the sibling he grew up with, he's not "hurt" that he won't get to know this one, he's bent out of shape because we are going on with our lives without his constant drama being center stage. As for your issue, it sounds like you are the one saying you'll never know your younger siblings. It sounds like you have already decided that. Why not be happy for your family and get to know them and be a part of it all with your own daughter? It seems a shame to make such a decision just because for some reason you are unhappy that your father had more children. I don't get it. I'd be thrilled to have had other siblings in my own family no matter my age or my childrens ages.

 

MHO - July 6

""I had a new sister at 16 and I wasnt upset then because I wasnt an adult, and I got to know her."" Why is it that you don't think you can get to know a sibling just because you are not a minor? It's never wrong or to late to build a relationship with a sibling, or any child as far as that goes. If you keep this belief, you and your younger siblings will miss out on what could be a wonderful thing. I hope you allow your daughter to know her relatives. Age shouldn't be such a big deal, it's family that is important! MommyAgain, I am sorry for what you go through with your son. My father also has mental illness and he is very difficult to be around. I can't imagine going through it with a child.

 

Desiree - July 6

I didnt realize your son had this problem...

 

llily - July 7

aww dont worry , he will come around, he probably has a case of the jealousys is all

 

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