Large Family With 6 On The Way

24 Replies
searfoss6 - February 28

I am almost 39 years old and have 5 children (19,16,4,3 and 1) and one due in September. I am with my husband for almost 21 years. What I can't stand is the comments and eye rolling we get when people find out we are having another baby. At my husbands work people actually referred to it as "sick". I don't see where it is anyones business how many children we have. I am a stay-at-home mom. We solely take care of all our children, no day care or dropping them at relatives, the little ones are with us 24/7 except for our 4 year old goes to school. My husband works to support us and is either at work or home. We do not have to deal with child support, divorce, custody, ect.. I just can't believe how some people are so rude. Does anyone else ever get those "looks" and comments? It seems if you have more than 2 or 3 children people think you are irresponsible which is totally not the case.


lovemy3 - February 28

I think that is awful people do that. I have 3 and am ttc#4, and would have done more but I' m having a hard enough time ttc#4. people think I'm crazy for being sad about not getting pregnant so far. I understand you totally. Big hugs and cherish your many blessings!


Terio - March 1

Searfoss6... I think that's awesome. I really envy your situation! (We're just having our first, and I'm 34.) The people who insist on being so vocal about your large family just feel inadequate that they can't handle the children they already have and probably can't wait to shove them into daycare every morning ~ seeing you do it so well probably strikes a nerve. Why else would people even care, LOL. That's odd, I can't imagine anyone pa__sing judgment on a situation like yours. Congrats on the new addition. :-)


searfoss6 - March 1

Thanks alot guys. I guess some people just have nothing better to do than pa__s judgement onto others.


Bren- - March 1

I am 42, we have 6 children (22,20,15,13,11 and 9) and I am having tubal reversal surgery in 7 days. We get the age thing, the why would you spend money on a needless surgery, and the worst for me is the long, drawn out..."Well, if that will make you happy." I just pray that I haven't waited too long...I truly didn't know that surgery was available to me. I am hoping to be back on here soon, announcing an impending birth! best of luck, and ignore the naysayers.


Kristin72 - March 1

I think it's just great!!Way to go!! To be honest they are probably jealous. I would never pa__s judgement on someone for having a larger family spanning 20years. They obviously do not have "enough" going on in their own lives to judge yours. They need to get a life. All the best to you again I think it is fantastic!!!Congrats!!


unk - March 1

I think it's selfish. One, two, or three children is okay. Any more, and you're part of the selfish bunch who simply squander the world's resources.


unk - March 1

an addendum: Honestly, good luck... just realize that there may be a reason why others look ...


searfoss6 - March 2

I don't think it's selfish to raise a large family, actually quite the opposite, You have to give everything you have to raise them and it's worth it. There are people who have only one or two children that sit their b___ts on welfare, throwing their kids into government funded daycare, those are the people that are squandering the world's resouces.


Mia77 - March 2

I'm 41 and I too have received a lot of negative comments for having 4 kids and one on the way. I live in a big city and most people tend to have one child and a dog. That is considered "normal" here. I am so sick of getting the shocked look from people when I tell them how many kids I have. They make me feel guilty like I've done something wrong. The funny thing is that they are closing down several schools here because there aren't enough children to fill them! I think it's wonderful to have children - and lots of them! It's such a blessing. We are a stable home with lots of love to give and I am thankful to have all the kids I have and I say, "Congrats to you" for having baby #6 - good luck!


ConfuseD - March 3

Some people just don't like kids very much...but then look at how the world can sometimes be towards them. I think if you and your husband wish to have children and raise them yourselves - more power to you! Wish more people felt the same about family and children, but unfortunately they don't. Always remember the Good Lord gave you each child for a reason. Try not to let the criticism of others get to you, as there's a lot of people who love to rain on another's parade...whether it be about having children, getting married, buying a house, etc. It's always upmanship, you know? Instead, try to remind yourself of the nice things people will say. For instance, very shortly after I had my youngest child (my husband and I have six children between us, ages 24, 21, 20, 18, 14, and 1), I was comforted when I would walk into a store and some complete stranger (usually some very sweet elderly person) would just blurt out, "You've been blessed", or "The Lord had his reasons for giving you this child", and they'd walk over and start sweetly speaking with him. Wish there were more people like them...they're the salt of the earth! Also, I was 47 when I had my youngest child, and despite all the horror statistics my husband and I were given about being pregnant at that age (mostly because of malpractice suits), I'd do it all over again. I LOVED being pregnant!!!


Bridget - March 4

People can be so rude.First, congratulations on your sixth child and all the others too. You sound like a loving and stable family and it's wonderful that you chose to be a stay at home Mom. It's hard work and rewarding as well and there is no job more important. I had to go back to work when my son was 7 months old and while I found a very good place for him to be cared for during the day, I wish he were with me.He was a shock for us (I was 39 and we'd ttc for 7 years and 1 month after a myomectomy, whammo!) The people that b___t in work both ways. Until we decided to TTC, we had for many years not wanted to have any kids.When asked, (usually in an accusatory tone) why we didn't have kids yet, it made me angry at their rudeness because whether one or none or ten, as long as you are a good parent, no one has the right to cast judgement on your reproductive choices. Now, we are getting a new routine: Oh, aren't you going to give him a brother or sister?UGH! That would be nice, but for us, we've seen people close to us (in our opinion) overextend themselves when they have more kids than they can comfortably afford and then wind up strapped at best or at worst--divorced. The kids suffer and it burns me up, as most of these kids are my neices and nephews and they come to us for direction and security now. People should have the kids they can care for and love and it's beautiful that you can care for and love 6. The rude b___tinskies need to keep their opinions to themselves, though. They hurt people or make them angry or both, esp. when they ask the "no babies yet for you guys" when we'd tried for so long unsuccessfully. We have our little guy now and he's all we could ever ask for.


unk - March 5

to searfoss6: No, actually it is people who waste; more people use resources. You cannot feed a person their entire life without food and lots of fuel. Find someone in the USA who does not either directly or indirectly use gasoline. On the subject of family size, I suppose that criticism of a large family depends on the situation; children spaced out by many years, as you have done, probably allows them enough time to learn and adapt properly. In that sense, a large family is not a problem. But, since everyone on this site seems to be baby-crazy, my original point won't be considered...that perhaps one should think about introducing 5, 6, or 7 children into the world. More than two, and you contribute to the population and pollution problem. You lower the quality of life in the country. Plain and simple. Again, good luck.


tinkri - March 7 of searfoss' 6 children may be the person who solves the hunger or fuel issues for the world. One of her 6 children may fond a cure for AIDS or cancer. One of her 6 children may save your life one day or that of someone you love. For every person who brings 6 children into this world I am sure there are more than that who have none. Good luck searfoss! ~ of 3.


Bridget - March 7

Yes, unk, more people use more resources but again, the point that tinkri makes can be applied yet again. Pehaps one of searfoss6's children could be the one who solves the energy issue plagueing our planet. Someone must do it, they are certainly working on it (with an equal # of people in the oil industry pushing back) but we need new young voices and outlooks and one of those kids may be the one. Who knows? At least she doesn't have 6 kids on welfare learning how to drain the country's resource from a whole other angle. Everything is relative and every situation is different. Some people should not reproduce, just take a look at the website "parents behaving badly". No two lives are alike and some families make a valuable contribution everytime they enter one of their children into society because that child was raised with love, respect and empathy. Some people need to be taken out of the gene pool.Sure everyone on this site IS baby crazy and the good thing about that is that the vast majority of the parents that post here are anticipating their child with joy and they will be raised with love and respect and good values. Let's hope so.


suze42 - March 7

Im just lmao at this UNK character!!! I really hope its just a bored prank..b/c if someone actually believes that c___p then YIKES...time to take your meds UNK!! Tinkri, great response! Searfoss .Congrats!! I think some people may possibly feel jealous or feel inadequate . back in the 60's my mom had 4 kids in 5yrs...she got alot of rude stares too..I guess rudeness transcends all time!


unk - March 13

Everyone, good luck, especially searfoss6. You all make good points; just realize that, perhaps, less is more. (I am baby crazy myself; hoping to have my first!!)



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