My Mom Had Me At 44 And Brother At 46

3 Replies
margie - May 16

so in some way i feel a connection to you ladies. although for me i dont plan on getting pregnant later in life (ok well neither did my mom, i was a surprise, lol). but im just wondering if you think about what its going to be like having a teenager when you are older? just some insight from the kids perspective...it was kind of hard for my parents because they couldn't relate to our generation and we were raised with very different values, werent allowed to dress the way other kids did, raised stricter than other friends, because things were dramatically different than when they raised my brothers and sisters...they started having kids in the 1950s!!! we were #6 and 7 and the next oldest to me was my sister and she was 11 when i was born. i ended up losing both of my parents 4 years ago...they passed away 6 months apart and it was the hardest year of my life. they never got to see my daughter who is 5 months old now. im forever grateful for my life and that my mom didnt abort us like the doctor told her too...it was the 70s and they believed that all kids would have problems if from a mother later in life i guess...oh with by the way, if you ladies are worried about that, we both are perfect health and i was always a straight A student. i will always love my mom and dad with everything in my heart....i only wish that they were younger when they had me so i could have had more time with them. anyways...if any of you have questions to ask of someone who is a child of older parents just let me know and i'd love to talk. :) your kids will not be in the minority like i was cause its waaaay more common for people to have children later on than it was when i was born, but theres not a whole lot of us who are adults now :) good luck ladies!

 

margie - May 16

oh and btw i think that it is easier for parents who are older now to relate to their kids because they came from a more liberated generation than my parents...

 

Perl - May 16

Thanks for your perspective. It's interesting hearing from someone who was born to older parents. I'm sorry you have lost both your parents. I just lost my 89 year old grandmother and I'm so disappointed and sad for many reasons including she won't be seeing my 2nd child when he is born in a few months nor will my kids get the chance to know her personally. I was a lot closer to her than my own mother. I have thought that there is a possiblity that I may not see the day that my grandchildren are born if my kids end up waiting until later like I did and it is a little sad. But in no way should that deter anyone from starting a family just because their life span is about 5-15 years shorter than if they started sooner. Most of us women in our 30s and early 40s expect to be around for at least another 45 years--LOL! Besides, if my kids decide to have their babies early like in their mid 20's or even (God forbid) while they are still teenagers, well then I may still have plenty of time to live with them. Unfortunately none of us knows when our time is up, I know people who lost one or both parents to illness or car or plane accidents while they were still young children--now THAT is truly very sad or vice versa parents can lose their children while they are still children. Doesn't mean we shouldn't still try. Any amount of time spent between parents and children (whether it's one month, 10 years or more) is precious and worthwhile. Again, thanks for sharing and thanks for the best wishes too--believe me I'm sure we have all thought about this. Best of luck to you too with your little girl and future children. I've decided to make a special photobook or sc___pbook with lots of photos and stories about my dear sweet grandmother to share with my children so they indirectly they will still get to know about her.

 

in the woods - May 17

It's not often that you hear from children of older parents - thanks for your willlingness to share! I understand that you and your parents had tensions over clothes, and freedoms. Much like teenagers would have with any age parents. But apart from the teenage angst, how did you feel having older parents? When did you become aware that they were older than the other kids' parents? Was there times you wished they were younger? How old was your father when you were born? Thanks!

 

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