OMG I M So Confused Please Help Me Work Through This

7 Replies
Been There - December 3

This past September, after 18 months of TTC, I got pregnant and lost the baby almost as soon as the results were confirmed by the doctor. Of course I mourned and just threw in the towel. I decided not to even bother. I'm 36, have 2 girls and my husband had been hoping for boy. Today, just because I finally admitted it, I realized I'm late. So I took a test (actually 3 becauseu I was in shock with the first one) and I'm pregnant again. I'm so confused. Part of me wants to be happy, but the other part won't let me be because of fear that I'll miscarry again (and be a miserable mess for weeks again). I had already resolved myself to not TTC and just moving on with other plans. I feel like I'll be in limbo for the next 2 months because I don't know how long it will take before I can feel secure that I have a strong chance of delivering. If you're going through this now or have recently, please share.


to been there - December 3

I have been in your shoes at the begining of this year I got pregnant and it lasted about 7wks and mc out of the blue so to speak I am 35yrs old and have two boys never had a mc so I was in shock and I went thru all the feelings of fear not wanting to try again but with me my husband does not have any kids my two are with my ex husband so I had to try again even though I was so worried about having another mc it just meant alot for my husband to have atleast one child of his own well I happy to say I am now 31wks with a healthy baby boy everything is going fine this time can happen good luck to you and keep me posted-rhonda ( :


Been There - December 4

Rhonda, thank you for sharing. I'm going to hang in there and just wait. Which is about all I can do. I'm already driving myself crazy that every little discomfort, cramp, slight pain, etc. means I'm misscarrying. I know I've got to calm down. I'll let you know how it goes.


Jen - December 4 way to relax.....good luck, I beleive a baby is a gift from our creator,if he takes it from you, it wasnt ment to be. be positive.. no stress......


Julia - December 5

Sorry for your loss, and congrats on your new pregnancy. I also went through this losing a long awaited baby at 11 weeks back in May. I was wanting to get pg again when we did in Sept but the last few months have really been horrible. You don't want to think about the baby in case something happens, you can't tell anyone,plan anything, it's like a 2 MONTH wait rather than 2 week wait. It was hard getting through the first tri, but I am now and so happy everything seems to be fine. Hang in there and I hope the time pa__ses quickly for you.


C - December 12

Hi, congrats! Try to stop worring, I've been through something similar. Miscarriages are so common, it seems like almost every woman has at least one. You already have 2 children so you know you can do this. You can either make yourself miserable and constantly worry about having another miscarriage or you can have a positive att_tude and realize that it's out of your hands anyway. Good luck!


Been There - December 13

I've seen some (what I hope is) implantation spotting. Fortunately it's light, so I'm hanging in there and not panicking yet (though it crossed my mind). I have my first visit on Thursday and I'm going to make sure they send me for an ultrasound right away. Thank you so much for providing support. I think just being able to hear the baby is implanted will make me feel better. I know that's the point where it went wrong last time.


KATZIIZ - December 14

Some spotting early in pg is normal and should not alarm you. I would like to add a litte advise, more and more studies and drs are finding that daily use of one baby aspirin 85 mg may reduce the risk of miscarriage. It is believed that many early m/c are caused due to blood clots and the restricted flow resulting. Many women swear after previous m/c they only carried to term after starting a daily regimen of 1 baby aspirin. I myself have been using from the day I found out. The small dosage has so far shown to not have any adverse affects on baby or mother. My second bit of advise would be to make sure you are increasing you water intake. Dehydration is a suggested factor in increased risk of miscarriage. I would like to let you know that implantation bleeding would have occured before you would have gotten a positive test. It is possible to have some spotting as the placenta starts forming and digging in sometime around 7 weeks pg. I know it is scary to have any kind of bleeding. Lots of women here and on other boards have experienced all kinds of bleeding and still have successful and healthy pregnancies. So do try to relax. Drink lots and lots of fluids and get some rest. I had bleeding also with my last pg and this current one (I am 23 wks with twins)...I also had a m/c last year. With the m/c I didn't have any bleeding at all. go figure. So in summary, bleeding alone does not mean you will m/c. Try the baby aspirin as a preventative and drink lots of water and then just hope for the best. What may also help you feel at ease....when you go to your appt (or even before, with a phone call) and ask that they check your beta levels. Also, because you are advanced maternal age and have had a previous m/c, you can ask them to check your progesterone level. They will take blood for both at the same time. then you will have to go back in 48 hours to take a second blood draw for the beta levels. For beta, they will compare your 2 results...they are looking for the number to have doubled in 48 hours. If the level did not double it can signal that there is something wrong, but if it does double or more, then chances are good the baby is developing fine. Still no garauntee but a little a__surance for now. The progesterone level is tested once and a low level may suggest the need for a hormone supplement. Low progesterone will cause the pg to fail. But you usually have to ask for this to be done, many doctors don't just offer to do these tests. Be firm, it is your body and you are paying the bill, right?? I hope that all goes well for you. Keep us posted here to let us know how it all goes for you. "God bless you" ~~Kathy S



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