Pregnant Again -pg120208251525

7 Replies
lozzas - February 3

Hi there, I had a miscarriage last April and have now discovered that I am finally pregnant again. I am now six weeks and feeling very apprehensive again about the whole thing. My daughter is 16 and my son is 7. I keep projecting myself 10 or 17 years into the future, and am worrying constantly about being older parents coping with a teenager, needing babysitters for the next 15 years, and worrying constantly about money, and how we are going to pay for my daughter's college fees, driving lessons, etc next year. I am also really worrying about people's reactions - my work colleagues and our friends will think, and say, that we are completly mad. Are they right? Are these panic feelings I get - both last year and this year right - please can someone reassure me - am I being selfish or stupid bringing another child into the world.?My husband and I have been married for 24 years and we have a stable home - so, why am I panicking? It's strange as I am not worried about the pregnancy or birth, even though I developed pre eclamsia and had placenta previa with my son - what I am worrying about is what life will be like in 10 years time. Please advise.


MNMOM - February 4

lozzas- Congratulations on your baby! I think your feelings are very very normal and that in time your apprehension will subside and your joy and excitement wil take over. Everthing will work out, you have a miracle inside you, you have been blessed! I wish you a healthy baby and pregnancy!


leslie_xx - February 4

What does your husband say? Is he excited, does he want another child? What is your situation? Do you want another child? If the answer is yes, congratulations! If the answer is no, you have options.


lozzas - February 4

My husband is happy to go with my wishes - he probably would have preferred to have stopped at two, but knows and respects that I have been broody again for about four years. He is more concerned about our ages - he is 49 and I am 42 - and our energy levels - but says we will cope. I am more worried about money, and people's reactions - so I suppose we have a good balance.


in the woods - February 11

I'm 44 with 4 and 3 year olds. Completely understand you doing projections ahead - I did and do it all the time - but it helped a bit when my kids joined pre-school. The parents there are about 50/50 - young/"old", so I don't feel out of place. The things are so all over the place nowadays that you should't be feeling very bad with people commenting. I yet to hear a comment on me being a grandma instead of a mother. I don't have older kids though, haven't gone through all those stages, so dont' know how that influences your feelings. My hubby is 60 now, he was 56/57 when the kids were born, so that may be of some relief for you to know. He's not running with the kids (I do - I have to have those energy levels), but constantly carries on with them, and that's a blessing, since I'm more of a stricter parent. Money - I think any situations can be worked out, however sour, if not expectations taken a notch lower. My almost 5-year stay at home with the kids did make a huge dent in our finances, so I have to go to work - but everything will work out, I do not regret staying with them and witnessing all their development by myself. **** Two weeks ago, a 12 year girl went missing in our little town. Police had no clue, until they discovered a body a couple of days ago (still not quite confirmed taht it is hers). These things make you hug your kids tight, realize what's most important, and count blessings.


lovemy3 - February 12

Congrats!! What a blessing and a wonderful thing you have been given. I think we all think about the what ifs.... but I think having a wonderful home and other children will be such a blessing for you and your family. I think we all wonder about our ages, money etc. These things all hae a way of working themselves out. I am turning 39 and my dh is 42 and we just had our 4th. I too had preeclampsia with each pregnancy and can relate to illness, but it ll turned out ok. Congrats and enjoy this last pregnancy and new blessing to your family. xoxox


in the woods - February 12

There is a woman in my kids pre-school, of my age, with 3 and 5 year olds. These kids are with her second husband's, she also has 12 and 14 year olds from her first marriage. All 6 of them live in a nice home, and they are managing. Come to think of it, there are instant babysitters right in your home! (for some of the time, at least)


lozzas - February 24

Dear all, Thanks very much for your lovely replies. Unfortunately, I miscarried again at 7 weeks - exactly like last year - and, of course, all my feelings of broodiness immediately welled up again. I will keep trying but worry that my body is trying to tell me it is too late. Best wishes to you all



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