Pregnant At 39 Any Advise

15 Replies
sh - November 17

I have a son who is 16 soon to be 17 now mom is pregnant. How do I make him feel that he is very important to me and the pregnancy there is a big age difference. Plus mom is scared being almost 40 and starting over


Maidencanada - November 17

Congratulations! I am 41 and pregnant. My daughter is 18 and my son is 14 so I completly understand your fears. When I was pregnant this summer (miscarried) it was a huge surprise to my son. My daughter was surprised but happy. She had a friend who's mom did the same thing so for her it was not weird. But my son was a different story. I told him I had something big to tell him. When I told him he was not impressed. Not one bit. We then decided to go out for a clebration dinner and on the half hour drive there he would say things like, well, I guess it does not matter since you ignore me anyways, and, so I will be the unloved middle child? I just calmly responded to all his remarks. During dinner I reminded him about how when he was young he was his big sister's willing slave and how nice to no longer have to get his own remote control or juice or whatever. By dessert he was on our side lol. When I miscarried he didnt say much and this time my rotten DH would not let me stress about telling him (which I was doing and said Iwould wait a week till I told him) and so he walked in to my son's room said "mom is pregnant again get dressed the reservations for the celebration dinner is at 7. he said ok, and that was that we all had a great evening. Lol, I understand your worries and I hope it goes well for you. Boys can be a bit meme at that age. Does he have any friends with much younger siblings? Perhaps he will surprise you and be ok with it.


Greta - November 17

I, too, am 39 and have a 17-year-old daughter. I am four months pregnant, and am actually due the day after her graduation! My daughter is thrilled to death - she's always wanted a sibling. Unfortunately, she will be going away to college next August and will miss most of her brother or sister growing up. I get really nervous about things going wrong, especially because I had a miscarriage before. I also worry about being "the old mom" when I was always "the young mom". I hope I don't start wearing "mom jeans"! LOL! But I am so happy that I will have a newborn to look after when my daughter goes away to college, because otherwise I would have empty nest syndrome big time (we're very close). For me, I think I will have more patience this time around because I am older and more stable. Best of luck to you! I'm sure all will be fine.


Rhonda - November 17

Hey I am 35yrs old and my son is 16 almost 17yrs old now he is being great about it but I do have another son that is 6 about to be 7 and he was great with him he is a real big help with his little brother and I am sure he will be with this one as well...I am sure your son will love his little brother or sister and be great help to you just talk to him about how he feels he is old enough to be honest with you and if you make him feel a part of the pregnancy like inviting him to come along to the 20wk sono stuff like that it should make it fun for him good luck


sh - November 17

Thanks ladies. I also miscarried around 6 years ago so that is on my mind also. Thanks for the kind words and support. I think my son will be just fine.


eso - December 1

Hi- I had my first son at 38 -easy pregnancy and I felt good. I wouldn't worry. I am 40 and working on # 2! My mum had me at 45 and I keep her young!


AlohaNora - February 6

My soon to be wife will be 39 this year. I will be 50. We just discovered she is pregnant. We are to be married next month! What a surprise! Now she is extremely nauseous 24/7. Not sure what to do about it. Any suggestions? We have a 13-year old daughter from her first marriage but she is close to me. She does not know yet. Any suggestions on this as well? Your answers to SH will most likely help me as well. Thanks!


jefranden - February 26

I have a 14 and 12...I am wanting to be pregnant (I think...)...But have the same concerns. I have asked other moms who have been in the same situation as you describe and I always hear the same: THat the addition was a joy to everyone -- including older sibs. It would be fun, I'd imagine, considering there wouldn't be any of the compet_tion stuff...good luck!


punkin01 - February 27

i see parts of this post are old but some are new....but i will give my experince my son from a former marriage was 15 when DD came along at first he was MAD but he soon got over it by my 24 week sono he was so excited to find out the s_x to know what he was getting....and the day she was born he was at the door of the operating room with the video camera waiting for DH to bring her out and film him carrying her to the nursery then later after i was in my room he couldnt stop looking at her and taping her....when i was brought my food tray he took her and sat in the corner holding her for about 1 hr and when hubby aunt came in he told her to wash her hands before she could hold her because it was cold and flu season that she is 16 months old and walking and getting into his room and his things he dont seem so loving toward her at times...i am not saying he is mean to her nothing like that but it is different .......but then there are times i might be on a business phone call and she will start crying (she loves the phone and if she ever sees it you are in trouble if you are on it) he will come in there w/o being told or asked and get her attention and baby talk to her and keep her occupied so i can finish my call ...and it is so cute to see him baby talk to her .......i am just wondering if he will be the same to his baby bro due in june 07.......hope this helps if someone is still keeping up with this post


Kim38 - March 21

I am 38 and pregnant..... also nauseous 24/7. AlohaNora...does it go away? How is she now? it's been a while. Are you married yet? congratulations! ~Kim


melhan250 - April 11

Please tell me how things are going......I was thinking of starting over again....I have a 17 and 14 or old and Im almost 39. Is it too late for me? Am I too old? Will I regret it? Any info would be great.


babyblue2 - April 12

My situation is not quite as dramatic, but I can a__sure you that the older ones will not only love the new arrival, but will be a great help as well. My 'older' 2 are 10 and 11, and we also have an 18 month old and one due in July. I am 36. The kids are so excited for the arrival of their little brother. They also dote on the their little sister. Sure... sometimes they moan and groan when I need help, but for the most part, they enjoy having her around. I though it would be hard, since the older 2 are so close, and are used to doing everything together. Yet they still manage to include the baby in their activities. Don't worry. Its a bit of an adjustment going back to diapers and bottles, but I find I have way more patience than I did when I was in my 20s. Good Luck!


melhan250 - April 12

Im so torn.......I don't know if I should just have another or if I will regret it..What if it has downs syndrome or something is wrong? Im 39....and so confused. Help!


tpy70 - April 17

Like Melhan, I, too, am so confused about whether or not I should have another child. I am turning 39yo next month and I have a 17yo daughter. There are times when I feel like I want to have another baby but whenever I see how tired my co-worker is from lack of sleep because of her 8mo? I feel like I don't want to go through that again. I would really appreciate any insight from anyone in this forum. Thank you.


clindholm - April 17

I had my 1st at 36 and just had my second in October 2008. I will be 40 in two months. Sure I was tired when the baby was still getting up through the night, but everyone is, no matter their age. Now my oldest is 2 and youngest is 6 months and he has been sleeping through the night for a few months. Your co-worker may be doing something wrong if she is still up at night with an 8 month old. My son was born 7 weeks early at 4 lbs 6 oz and has slept through since 4 months. I would not trade it for the world. I consider myself incredibly blessed to have two healthy, beautiful children. I just know that they will keep me young even though they can be exhausting. I also work full time so I am always going, going, going. It's a very personal decision for each person to make and only you can decide what it right for you and your family. Good luck in whatever you decide.


tpy70 - April 19

Thanks for sharing, Clindholm. Sounds like you are very happy. I guess if we do decide to have another child, my next post will be to ask you how you did it - taking care of your 2 children and work full time =')



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