Should I Try Again

5 Replies
ALISON - March 29

I had had 2 miscarriages over the last ten years the second one 5 years ago and couldn't or didn't get pregnant so they put me on fertility treatment which didn't work so we gave up. my son who I had when I was 22 broke his neck 4 years ago so we put trying to the back of our mind and decided to stop trying when I reached 40. 8 week ago I realised I was pregnant and I am now 43 so was shocked and went into complete panic mode (because of my age and my son now needing 24 hr care from his dad and I) but I have just the best GP and he thought it was a miricle and we deserved some good and happy news so we became excited as did our son. well once again the pregancy didn't last and last week they couldn't find a heartbeat so again I have miscarried for the third time. thing is before I knew that although we were biterly disappointed I was still young enough to try again and now my mind is so jumbled up because I don't feel we have that choice because I am now to old at 43. we didn't even get much sympathy this time around and I know people are saying it was for the best because of our son and because of my age which is totally wrong.

 

MellyMel - March 29

Alison: You are not too old. I'm sorry to hear about your loss :( I say if you're healthy and feel you have the energy to take care of an infant - then go for it! Have you found out why you are miscarrying for the last two times?

 

ALISON - March 29

No they never said, just it was unusual to have 3 miscarriages in a row after a normal pregancy but the first wasn't normal in that I bled then to and suffered from pre-eclampsia and had him at 32 weeks. feel everybody (family anyway) thought and think I am stupid and I am so easily upset re other peoples opinions. I would really if I am honest like to try again even if was for just a couple of months more but my head is a mess and I know I am running out of time age wise.

 

Perl - March 29

Alison, I'm sorry for your losses and for what has happened to your son too. There is no reason your life and plans have to end just because you have a son who is paralyzed unless maybe if it will break you financially and emotionally. Of course, it changes things a lot but your life goes has to go on. You do have your hands full but it seems like a baby could bring some much needed joy and brighten things up in your home. Ignore what other people say and be true to your own heart and mind--only you and your husband can really know if you can emotionally and financially handle having a child right now. Your opinions are the only ones that you should follow. Good luck.

 

marranie - March 29

I worry about what other people think but then just go ahead and do what i like anyway. once you are in your forties you get one good egg out of five on average, so it is a numbers game. I am 44 and will be 45 when i have this baby, i had three miscarriages prior to this pregnancy but just had to try 'one more time'... now well into second trimester and feeling fit and well.

 

ALISON - March 30

thanks everyone, I think deep down I would like to try one more time and like you marranie if I fell pregnant I would be 44 by the time I had it.

 

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