Starting A Family

5 Replies
Amy - November 18

I am writing to seek person advice and perspectives from a variety of monthers. I am 25 yrs old. I have finished my bachelors and masters and currently employed as a pediatric nurse pract_tioner working on my doctorate. While it sounds busy I still find the time to think about beginning a family! I am in a very stable relationship, married to a wonderful man with a terrific career. We are financially stable. I say this only to provide some background for all of you in addition to my age! I hear from the parents of my patients two distinct perspectives in regards to having children. The first is the opinion that having children before the age of 30 is ideal and the other is to start in your thirties. While I know the decision to have a child is subjective and no absolute exists, I am asking for your perspectives regarding your experiences and thoughts. My husband thinks he is ready to begin a family and i toy with the idea daily. I would just like to hear from some of the mothers out there...


Coin Toss - November 19

I agree prior to age 30 is most ideal . Some people seem to be uncomfortable with growing youthfully with their children , (selfish freedoms left looming in their souls yet to be exploited I suppose) although I am saying this from the perspective of being older and thinking and weighing heavily that I would have liked to start a family much much younger . I just never knew how great and wonderful of an experience it would be until now . We were both 36 and 39 with our first and the 3rd will be born March both 42 and 45 . We both grew up with young parents so of course were exposed to that vibrant growing nature yet our parents were still growing too so there were some mild complications . They were quite mature for their ages , immigrating to escape hitlers rule and or propoganda (on my side) . I find it much easier raising children at an older age but all in all would recommend prior to age 30 to be my choice as a best age group and , from my own concerns of aging . Having children while young also gives you two chances to be in your childrens lives whether that be parent or grandparent instead one or one point something. So if your husband is ready and you are toying with the idea and understand that although you are both stable you cannot live beyond your means and unselfishly ( may have to trade his and hers matching BMWs for a mini van) then I would say get busy , I promise we won't peek . (LOL)


Maidencanada - November 19

Hi Amy, I was married at 20 and I had my first child at 22 and my second at 27 and here I am at 41 remarried and pregnant. We decided to have a child soon after we got married and while we did not have much more than a 2 bedroom starter home we were comfortable with the decision. My friends did not have kids and while they were all out partying I was at home with a baby. And I never ever felt bad about it because that tiny baby was the love of my life and the centre of my universe. When we planned the second one (for when the first started kindergarten) my only worry was could I love a new baby as much as I loved my daughter? I found out that I could indeed, as my son flled me with awe. Now here I am starting again at an age when most women are contemplating being a grandmother. My advise to you is to stop thinking so much and just do it. You will never ever in your life wake up and think "gee I wish I didnt get pregnant when I did" you will instead wake filled with love and awe at the child that you created. No matter what age they are. My 19 year old still fills my heart with love and amazement. Like Nike says, "Just do it" Hugs


in the woods - November 19

Amy - you seem to be on a more mature side of people your age. While people are still looking for their place in life well into their 30s (and beyond) you already have chosen a profession and have a loving partner. If there were nothing else, my advise would be to try to start a family, for all the reasons people here say. However, there is a nuance that may make you wish you waited a few years: your doctorate. Unless you have a nanny for the baby/toddler, it is very unlikely you'd be able to give your heart to both - the baby and the new field. Take it from a master graduate who had two babies in a row and chose to forsake career. I don't regret personally, I just don't know how strong your career ambitions are. You have the advantage of being able to wait for a few years...


to amy - November 22

the only person to answer this is you.It depends on many things,you say you are with a wonderful man,financially secure,thats 1/2 the reasoning you have right,when you have a baby they do drain your time,so it is important that you are very solid,also babies are demanding and make you tired.I was glad I waited well into my 30's because I have a good job,good social life,and my life at that time was great,into my late thirties I chose to have a family,and am glad I waited,fot me it was the right decision.


kfiatek - December 13

tak ja mam 16 lat jestem przeciwko aborcji! i'm writing an essey about abortion and i don't have plus sides... that's great true!



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