What Happened To My Marriage

5 Replies
thissux - March 11

My husband has no interest in s_x any more. Now that I am in the 2nd trimester and am ready willing and able, he treats me like a sister. I am so frustrated I can't stand it. After months of excuses on his part, he's finally said he can't because "there are 3 of us in bed now". He assures me that he'll be back to normal after delivery, but I don't believe him. I'm now afraid to have him in the delivery room because I think he'd get even more freaked out and never see me as anything but a mommy. Don't get me wrong, I really want this baby. I just didn't realize it was going to ruin my relationship with my husband. Does it get better? My self-esteem can't take much more.


miraclebaby - March 11

I think he is just afraid of hurting the baby, not that he does not want you Please ask Him I am sure this is why. My husband tells me he is afraid of that all the time and I tell him its ok. Maybe you can just be persistant and he cant say no!!!!!!!!!!!lol lol good luck :) :) :) :)


KaCee - March 11

I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. I know exactly how you feel! My husband was the same way when I was pregnant with our 4-yr-old. It made me feel unwanted and horrible. It wasn't that he didn't love or want me, it was that he was scared that he would hurt the baby. It also made him feel weird to think about having s_x with a pregnant woman. Unfortunately, a lot of men feel this way. I was upset about the situation during the whole pregnancy, and even for several months after we had the baby. But after I got back to "normal" our s_x life did too. The next time I was pregnant, he was much more receptive to s_x. However, since the birth of our son, I have had two miscarriages. I'm pregnant again (7 weeks) and this time I am the one who is afraid to have s_x, and he is being patient with me. So I guess marriage is all about give and take, and patience. If you are worried that you are losing his interest, you can always please eachother in other ways without having intercourse (so that he won't "hurt the baby" as he thinks he will). Don't worry too much, things will get better after you have the baby, and his entire view of your relationship will change, as will yours. Hang in there...


Toni1 - March 23

thissux: I agree with the others that your husband probably thinks he will hurt the baby. Try taking him to one of your appoinments and bring up the topic in front of the doctor. He might be rea__sured to hear what the doc has to say. There are also plenty of books that you can get and just happen to leave open for him to read on the subject. Good luck!


Paula - March 30

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I'm a little more than 5 mos now and my husband is pulling the same thing with me. After countless times of telling him it won't hurt the baby. It's incredibly frustrating!!! We are fighting all the time about it now, its insane! I as well do not want it to ruin my relationship. I too would like some advice. Hun, I'm not sure what to tell you other than I know what you are going through! :) Take care!


sm - March 30

I would just think if the boot was on the other foot and YOU didnt want s_x during your pregnancy (and i certainly lost all interest for the last few month in my previous pregnancies) would you want him to take it personally. I think it's kinda cute that he is so concerned about the baby. I would be a bit wary about having him in the delivery room, seeing birth can be a wonderful experience for some men but others i know have described it as an 'excellent contraceptive' and have been put off for awhile. You could alway keep him at the Head end while you are in labour. It is only a few months and for every woman who is feeling frustrated about lack of s_x while pregnant i am sure there are an equal number of men who have wives who have no interest. Alos, like KaCee i have had a few miscarriages and that really puts a dampner on wanting s_x even if you know that it is 'safe'... knowing and feeling it is safe are two different things.



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