5 Replies
75lavender - March 6

Well 2 things,,as a christian i know God wants us to have children..but i have 2 areas in which i do not know if the right thing to do..i think about it alot,,to have a baby or not...i will be 38 currenlty unemplyed and when i was working money was a issue even then to afford a child. i have a uterus that has dropped and although my dr says i can concieve ,delievry there could be risks..the way its been dropping it may not be able to hold the baby...both of us are getting older my husband will be 43... i guess i also have alot of fear as well..ive been on the pill lo-ogerstral for along time he says its fine not ill affects etc,, so im on the fence with this whole thing.. i have 2 moms that are widows as well... advice thoughts are helpful thank you....


Bigzy - March 6

My sister is 46 with 6 month old twins and 4 year old. My other sister is 47 with a 6 and 3 year old. Are you pregnant?


75lavender - March 7

no, i am not just doing alot of thinking,, trying to get advice,, dealing with fear,,and my uterus issues as well... im not saying it couldnt happen and it would maybe take a long time my dr said. it seems money wise and medical wise just dont know...i have a step daughter and its incredible dont know if we are able to handle another...lots to think on... thanks for your reply :O)


Bigzy - March 7

I have a step daughter and son I am 41 and always wanted my own but my sisters did fertility and I don't have that kind of money if I have to do it as much as they did.


Bridget - March 7

I was 39 when I finally concieved and we'd tried so long that we'd become accustomed to it never happening. We had never planned to do the whole fertility thing, we wanted to become parents but we weren't as determined as some, I guess. We'd been "DINKS" for 20 years, had our pets and our home and BAM, one month after fibroid surgery, I was PG. It was a shock and I can say that being older, good in some ways perhaps harder in others (the physical, mostly, but lots more patience). If the physical is what is holding you back and you truly want to experience motherhood, I'd say go for it. You might get put on bedrest, a drag but not forever. You might need a c-section (I did because of the recent surgery) but like I told people when they expressed pity over my mandatory c-section--I got pregnant to have a baby, not experience labor. If you are concerned about $, well, kids are expensive but are there things you'd happily trade in for the joys of motherhood (expensive dinners out, maybe one vacation a year or a gas guzzler car, whatever) or do you think having a child would sink your financial boat and lead to drastic changes and stress? Childcare is quite expensive these days but you mentioned two widowed moms. Was that because they need yours and your husband's care? Because they could be great childcare resources but only you know the answer to that.I hope some of this can help you. I can tell you from this side of the fence that while prenancy can be a trial sometimes (and wonderful too, esp when your child moves, nothing can top that)the resulting infant is what the world (at least mine) is all about. Good luck and please keep us posted, whatever happens.


75lavender - March 7

thank you for your reply ,, i have to do alot of praying..though i want my husband and i to have our own child and i do not know if thats what meant for us to do.. we are just barely getting by paying the bills now,, we struggle. WE very rarely go away and we share a car. Both moms are in the 70 age my moms heatlh isnt the greatest his mom is very busy. Most of my husbands family are out of state as well. As far as health not sure with my prolapsed uterus it could even carry the baby, then on top of that yes labor sounds a bit scary,, i have anxiety going to the dentist almost pss out i have a very high heart rate as it is. i do not know at our agae if we are "parent material" we are having a hard time with the teen step girl we have now,,,ikes! i just dont know.. i want a baby ,, to hold and to love but as far as when they get older wow its scares me...Adoption i know too is very expensive we have thought about that too..so i just dont know...



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