17 Weeks And Depressed

15 Replies
Melissa - April 30

Lately, I have been feeling really depressed. When I am at home by myself, I dont even feel like eating, even when I really should have something to eat. I just dont feel like doing anything, going anywhere, talking to anyone. Does anyone else feel like this, and if so, have you found anything that helps.

 

Berly - April 30

He melissa. I am 20 weeks and I get very depressed. Whenever I don't feel like eating I eat something light and that taste good like a popsicle or yogurt. I get that way b/c my friends don't really ask me to hang out anymore so really the only people I have is my boyfriend, his parents and my family which isn't a big help. I feel your pain girl. If you ever wanna talk e mail me [email protected]

 

Melissa - May 1

Thanks Berly. Popsicles sound good, thats something I wouldnt have thought of. My best friend and I still hang out all the time, but Like you, none of my other friends really call anymore. I think its because they always go out, and of course I dont want to go sit around in a smokey bar or stay out all night anymore. The thing with me is that I used to work 60 hours a week and now I dont work at all ( my boss said all or nothing, so I had to choose nothing ) and also my husband goes out a lot. So I am just sitting at home alone all the time and there is only so much cleaning you can do! Do you think yours is getting worse or better?

 

Audrea - May 1

Hey Melissa, I feel your pain. I am an RN and worked a lot before I got pregnant. I am now 16 weeks. I had to take some time off due to being so sick all day and night. I could not stay out of the bathroom. I also have a spinal problem and needed to go for my fourth surgery but had to put if off due to finding out I am pregnant. So now I can't work and my husband work 10pm to 6am and sleeps anywhere from 11am to 9pm. He is such a light sleeper I can't do anything between those hours in the house or it will wake him. My friends also do the going out thing and most have moved away. My family is also not much help most of the time either. They cause more stress than it is worth sometimes. Being so sick and bored and with such back pain can really make one depressed. My husband tells me that he never sees me smile anymore. It is really hard for him to understand how it feels when you feel lonely and bored and hurt all the time. I wish I could give you some suggestions, for I need some as well. My all day sickness has gotten better, however, just this last week it has become an every other day thing instead of daily. I finally see a break in the clouds. Hope all goes better for you.

 

leslie - May 1

hi ladies, I also feel very depressed but I tend to get more depressed in the weekends for some reason...I think about the baby's future, about me dying and living him/her alone or the opposite..I know that this baby is going to be a blessing but at the same time I think that I am going to cry soo much with this new life that is growing inside me. Sometimes I even think that maybe it would had been better if I wasn't pregnant..that way i would not suffer, the baby wouldn't suffer and would not have to die like the rest of us..I hate feeling this way, I want to be more possitive about life..but sometimes I feel horrible and not wanting to live.

 

hs - May 2

I know how you feel. I'm 15 wks and could just cry some days. My fiance and I are in the middle of building a house and living with my family and it's just becoming a stressful mess mentally and financially! A lot of the times I just wish I wasn't pregnant and how much easier things would be if I wasn't, stress wise. I wouldn't even worry about any of this stuff but now I have to always think about when the baby comes and this and that and if I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't even be worrying about this stuff. I got pg by accident so that didn't help and then I got excited about it but deep down I'm just worrying all the time that I can even handle all this. My fiance isn't much help either. Most days I just forget I'm pregnant as I'm not showing too much yet but then I keep thinking about October and how everything's going to change. With my luck, for the worse!

 

Melissa - May 2

to hs, we are building a house right now too, so I know the stress you are talking about. If I was working now ( which I am not cuase my job was 60 hours per week) I wouldnt be so upset, but now there is not as much money coming in as what we planned. And I dont have a job to go back to after the baby. So we are building this big a__s house which we planned around having 2 incomes, which now is only one income. Not good for the realtionship with my husband. He is so stressed out that he is not at all excited about the baby or the house now, justed worried about money!

 

Audrea - May 2

Hey Melissa I am right there with you. My husband and I moved into a house and I had to quit my job soon after. It's kind of hard to get excited about a baby when you worry about even keeping up with the bills you already have with just one income. My husband and I are having stupid little fights now because of finances. Guys can really be cruel sometimes. One of his favorite phrases he uses when he is mad is "this is MY house, I pay the bills for it, and "I" make the money around here so "I" will make the decisions" As if being married is "not" a partnership wether only one works and the other is growing the baby and taking care of the home as if it were a job, and not to mention doing "his" laundry and cooking and feeding "his" stomach.

 

leslie - May 2

Audrea my dad used to be like that and it hurts to say it so much. He can't be like this when the baby is born because I am serious the baby is going to grow with issues..I don't think your bf/husband has the right to say that at all!! It makes no sense years ago girls where supposed to stay home and maintain the house(like you do) and raise the kids and men would bring the food to the table..he can't say its his house just cause you are not working that is totally wrong!!!!!

 

Cinshon - May 2

Yea, I'm definintly there with you, been there since day one, and I really haven't found a solution yet, everything crosses your mine.

 

hs - May 3

Melissa - We decided to build when I first found I was a few wks pg. I got lucky and my morning sickness wasn't severe enough to quit working but it was still stressful as we had to move out right away and into my parent's house next door, which was no big deal but I was too sick after work to help move so my fiance did it all. I knew he was super stressed too. Then my older brother moved back home and now my other one moved back too. They're both over 40!!!! No jobs, etc. So things have been very stressing around the homefront lately, not to mention we each have a dog but luckily they get along good but I'm sick of either my mom or me cooking for them and feeding them!!!! We're saving money living at home that's for sure but once we move in it's going to be a zoo! I'm hoping only a few more weeks and we're out of there.

 

Melissa - May 4

WOW! We all need ma__sages or something! But, thats right, we dont have the cash to pay for it, hahaha! Well its nice to know that you guys are feeling the same way as I am. I just wish none of us had to feel like this. What do you think I can do to help my husband so he can be a little excited about everything, because as I said before he came out and said that he is not excited at all about the house or the baby because he is so stressed. I know he is just trying to share how he feels, but it just makes me feel really alone. I want him to share in the excitment of this time with me.

 

hs - May 4

Melissa, I know exactly what you mean. My bf never asks me about the baby or how I'm feeling and it's starting to depress me. I feel really alone during all this and feel like he just doesn't even care and doesn't want to talk about our "burden". Sometimes I just want to cry and then I feel guilty that I'm mad about being pg when it's not the baby's fault and I feel resentment already. It just sucks. So I've just been giving him his space and I don't even talk about the baby anymore. Sad as that is. Last night when I was half asleep he asked how many weeks I was and when my next appt was and what they were going to do. I answered very simply and went to sleep. I didn't ask why he wanted to know or anything. I sometimes hope he feels a little guilty about this being all on me and not him cus that's how I feel a lot of the times. I've been hormonal this week too so that hasn't helped much either. I don't expect him to come home every day and ask how I'm feeling or ask about the baby but once in a while would be nice. I just feel like I'm all on my own. I see and hear about other dads who are just estatic about their wives being pg and then there's mine who just ignores it!!!! I hope it gets better further along. Maybe when I start showing he'll pay more attention to my pregnancy. He's under a lot of stress with the new house and he's working an extra job right now on top of his other job and all this other stuff so I'm sure it's the last thing on his mind. But I think I would be more happy and positive about this pregnancy if he was too. Everyday I'm just unsure about it. It sucks. I should be happy right now!

 

TX Girrrl - May 4

I'm about 17 weeks myself and have hit a bit of a funk. I feel better after I walk on the treadmill. I also keep a grat_tude journal; I write down 5 things I'm thankful for each day. You wind up feeling more positive when you read back through it and count your blessings. Also, the occasional Heath Blizzard with Chocolate Syrup from Dairy Queen hits the spot! :)

 

Melissa - May 4

hs, yeah, it definatly gives you mixed feelings when you are spending more time being upset and depressed about being pregnant then being happy about it. I guess since this is my first and my husband has wanted a baby for so long ( I wasnt ready to have one when he first wanted one, so we watied ) and I thought it would just be such a wonderful exciting time and I thought it was something we would really share together. It just has not been a happy experience for me at all. Then, like you, I feel guilty, because I dont like being pregnant and then I think that means I dont like the baby. ( of course I like the baby, but its kind of the same thing ) Maybe we have seen to many fairytale pregnant movies or something and we are just being unrealistic....no i dont hink so.

 

hs - May 4

I agree. Because of his lack of enthusiasm and interest in my pregnancy, I too have lost it. Every day I just think of what it's going to be like when the baby is born and I've even cried because I'm afraid I'll resent the baby when it comes, especially if my bf keeps acting like this. It's our first too. He has two girls from a previous marriage but they live so far away that we rarely see them and when they thought I was having a girl on my last ultrasound, he quit getting excited and stopped talking about the baby. I think he's really disappointed and he wanted a boy so bad. It's like now that he knows it's not, he doesn't care even more. So it really ticks me off because he knows how nervous I am about being pregnant to begin with and scared on top of all that and now instead of him being there for me, I'm dealing with it on my own. Our house is almost done thank god. I don't even want to see the bill as that's been an ongoing drama also between us. We basically had to build right away as the house we were in was falling apart and he didn't want to buy anything else and wanted to rebuild so we had to act fast. Maybe I'm being selfish about him not giving me any attention about the pregnancy. I know his mind is everywhere else right now like his extra job, getting work done at the house that he can do himself etc, but sometimes I feel like he's avoiding me all together. Who knows. I just wish I could feel happier. We were at first even though it was an "accident" and I always wanted a child but just never got around to actually having one. I'm 30 and now I don't feel ready at all. I figured a couple years after the house was done would be nice but of course nothing goes as planned. I have to keep working after the baby is born too or we'll be so broke! Maybe this was all a BIG mistake. Too late now! Sigh.....

 

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