Anyone Else -pg119631394343

11 Replies
pomny143 - November 29

Hi all. I have been wondering if anyone else i s_xperienced any issues with their other half since their prego. I have been with him 6 1/2 yrs, but lately we seem to be on different pages. I know that he is under an extreme amount of stress at work, and we are both concerned with our living space and finances, and on top of all of that have not had any s_xual relationship since I found out I was prego in the beginning of Aug. I am getting so fustrated because I do not know if it is me, or other things that seem to be occupying his thoughts. I have asked him, and he responds that it is not me and that he is just stressed with other things. I know I should believe him, but I guess my hormones are throwing me off. All of a sudden I feel that every little thing that happens in our relationship is due to the preg. Am I going nuts, or is this normal?

 

pomny143 - November 29

-if anyone else has has experienced, not s_xperienced- Fruedian slip! Opps!

 

mtneyes - November 29

I'm finding myself in a similar situation except that my boyfriend and I had been having problems for a little while before I found out I was pregnant, which was a HUGE shock. I find that we are argueing all the time and that's when he says that it's because of my hormones. I'm sure some of it is, but I know a good portion of it isn't. I'm actually getting kind of worried that I'm going to end up doing this alone. So, I don't know, my situation might be a little more extreme. I do know that in a lot of things I've been reading about pregnancy they talk about the father going through a lot of emotions and worries before the baby gets here, like money and all the things we worry about. Just let him know that you're there if he decides he wants to talk. I know for me, when my boyfriend and I have time away from eachother it does tend to make us miss eachother and reconnect a lot better. Just a thought. Hope it gets better for you two.

 

Rachel29 - November 29

It seems to me like your partner is probably just nervous about having to be responsibile for a baby, and is probably trying extra hard to ensure that he'll have security at his job when the baby arrives. My husbnad kind of did the same thing when he found out we were pregnant by buying a fixer upper to rent out in order to help cover some of the lost income when I take time off from work. It made me mad that he was away for so long, even though I knew that his intentions were good, and he was clearly doing it for us. Just think though, you guys obviously have a long track record together at 6.5 years, (I think they say the first two are the hardest), so he's probably just a little nervous about the baby. As for the affection part, I've read that men can get a little nervous about s_x during pregnancy--even if they are told over and over again that it's ok. Could you try to communicate to him that you would like to spend say a half hour at night just talking or hugging? That's kind of what I did with my husband, and he was pretty receptive to that. Sometimes I think with men if you ask specifically what you want you're more likely to get results rather than saying "spend more time with me" well, it works better for my husband anyway. Just remember this is a really emotional time for him too. I think you guys will be fine.

 

pomny143 - November 29

Thanks for your responses. mtneyes...I hope that your situation gets better as well. It is even harder when things are kind of sour before hand. I am sorry that you are struggling also. Rachel29, I am sure you are right. Sometimes I just feel that he is well... grossed out by my pregnancy. Maybe it is just my hormones. I know, like I mentioned before, that he is very stressed with work. Yet, I kind of feel left out. He is always so busy with everything and everyone else, I feel like I am not as important as other things. I guess things will improve over time. Again, thank you both for your input. Good luck to you both as well.

 

Rachel29 - November 29

Hi Pomny...it's me again. You know, I was thinking about your post and it kind of made me realize that right now I love my husband to death, but two weeks ago I was ready to divorce him for not paying enough attention to me. I don't know your situation, but my hubby has always been more outgoing and social than I am, and while that's never really been an issue before, as soon as I was pregnant I wanted him to stay home with me, stop working so much and socializing. For me anyway, I think it is just hormones, and I hope that the same is true for you. You know though, if a few weeks go by and you still feel this way, I would maybe go talk to someone...a good friend or maybe a pastor or even a minister. Hey, there is really only so much you can blame on hormones! Keep me updated on how you're feeling. It sounds like this has really got you down, and I hope things get better.

 

pomny143 - November 29

Hi Rachel. Once again, thanks for the advice and show of concern. Times like these are difficult all by themselves never the less adding hormones to the mix. I will take your advice if things do not get better in time. Hopefully they will. I will keep you posted.

 

JoJo123 - November 30

pomny- i just wanted to tell you that I personally think that what you're feeling is normal! I have been married for almost 6 years and we dated for 4 before we married. I almost packed my bags and went to live with my mom for a couple weeks! My poor husband couldn't do one thing right, couldn't say one word that didn't upset me, everything mad me mad. Then - booom.... it was back to normal. I finally realized that just b/c I was tired didn't mean that he was tired. Just b/c I wanted to shop for baby stuff- didn't mean he wanted to (he doesn't like to shop, not many guys do for that kind of stuff). I just felt like i cared about this new child coming and was doing everything and he kept on with his own ways with no changes. He still had his friends over and hung out the guys for sports games. He still got to drink and party with our friends. I thought he should be at my side at all times. My biggest thing was - as a women you don't have an option but to give up a lot of things- drinking, socializing if you aren't feeling well or are tired and hey, by the end of a bad day sometimes all i want to do it just lay and veg out on the couch. But men, they get to carry on and tell us that they will cut down on the drinking and smoking, they will be home when the baby's born. Basically, when a women finds out she is pregnant that's it from there on out- there are a lot of things that we need to give up for 9+ months, however men still carry out and you hope that they give some of that stuff up. Hang in there- my phase lasted 3 weeks and now we are back to our old selves and I tell him when I know that I'm mad "I'm not sure if this is me or my hormones but I'm upset b/c ......" he's been pretty good with that. Good luck and hang in there, it will get better!!! Keep us updated :)

 

Rainbowbrite - November 30

I could kind of relate to this! When i first found out i was pregnant it was kind of different for us! For a while there i swore he got my pregnancy hormones because i felt fine- no moodiness or sappiness! But he was very moody! But after one big fight i finally let him have it! I am pregnant and he does not need to be acting like this! That when he gets all upset and fights with me it has an affect on my body and our baby girl! I told him how this is suppose to be a great time in our lives and he was making me feel miserable! And honestly after that big fight he has been ALOT more supportive of ME and my feelings as well as not being so upset and moody... i won't lie either being pregnant has also affected our s_x life! We were avid 6-7 times a week and it has gone to 3-4 times a week and it does get kind of uncomfortable for both of us at times because he worries about squishy the baby and has the "male thoughts" (if you've seen knocked up he said that is what it is like) but overall we're still intimate... just not the way we were and i honestly think you need to have that intimacy... i think you should really have a heart to heart with your guy... if you cry- CRY! don't hold in what you feel! Especially if it has you upset!!!

 

pomny143 - November 30

Hello again all. Jojo and Rainbow, Thank you for your input. You are both soooo correct. He just goes along with his everyday stuff but I cant! It is frustrating. I would like to have a gla__s of wine with dinner! I want to hang with my friends! I want to do all of the things I used to! Unfortuantely right now I can not, but that doesn't mean I should expect him to give it up to. Everyday I talk to all of you, it begins clearer to me. Rainbow, not for nothing, at least you are still having s_x!!! LOL. We have not had ANYTHING since late August. (Not that I was in the mood then anyway) Now, I am five months and pretty large already so we are not doing much of anything other than sleeping (literally) and eating. So I am sure that not sharing that "togetherness" is effecting me as well. Like I have said before, I am sure that things will get better. I will keep all of you informed. : )

 

sha__leigh - December 5

OMG. This has been such a relief to me. Me and my bf having been having similar issues. I told my mom the other that he leaves a bad taste in my mouth, lol. But its just like all of you have said, I feel like we are on two different pages. Its like he still gets to be normal and I dont. And sometimes I dont feel like he understands what I am going through. But I guess, honestly, he kinda doesnt undertstand it.

 

pomny143 - December 5

I have had an epiphany over the past couple of days...men can not possible understand what we are going through and ya know what? We can't understand them either so I guess we are even. I am no longer going to try and get him to understand why I am so cranky, tired, moody, ect. I will not attempt to understand why he is the way he is either. This way, neither one of us goes crazy. I think that we should clear out one really large state (like Texas) just so when women get preggers, we can place or husbands ther until we deliver. Isn't that a good idea? We can pretend that they do not exist and vice versa. I am sure we will miss them, but oh well. It is not like we technically need them anymore anyways! LOL. I don't know why I thought of this, but all those in favor say "I". : )

 

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