Anyone Else Getting Lonely

15 Replies
Katie - May 12

I have a few good friends, we used to get together a lot more before I got pregnant. I feel left out a lot more now... I wanted to know if anyone else is going through the same thing...I am afraid it's just going to get worse, as time goes by...It's not that I don't suggest to do things with them, but they are very much at that stage of drinking and socializing at bars etc and it's no place for a pregnant women in my opinion...what to do?

 

rb - May 12

i feel the same way - i take comfort in chatting with the girls i've met on here and they've been such a big help...my friends are all still living the party life and are not really in the same place as my husband and i so i totally understand... there's not much really to do but change your scenery i guess... i've noticed i've been shopping, eating etc. a lot more on my own, but i'm learning to deal with it... sometimes i feel as though it may get worse as time progresses, but then i think, in no time, we won't have a lot of time to worry about stuff like this... i wish i could say my friends were more supportive, but they're not... half of them don't understand and the other half want to be pregnant, married etc., so they're not entirely happy for me... wish i could have helped, but i just comiserated ;) - good luck katie, but you are welcome to chat with us at any time...

 

: ( (-: - May 12

Katie, I'm sorry for your loss of friends. But you know what? You are a smart gal for staying out of the bars. The funny thing about having a child is that depending on your choices, you'll find that your child changes your life FOR THE BETTER. The friends that are basically deserting you because you kinda don't fit in to their social scene anymore, well, they're not really that good of friends for you. When the baby is born some will come around, some don't, and some that come around, just come around less and less. I say this because the same thing happened to me many years ago. It was a real eye opener. I still remain friends with a few, but it never was close again. I made new friends later on and kinda "grew up" if you know what I mean. Your child will become so important though that the friend thing won't be such an impact on you mentally. Right now, it is hard, but it's ok. You'll make it. Your friends still like you, but the "all about me" thing is what's in their mind. You just don't fit in to their routine right now. Perhaps there is one particular friend that can maybe do lunch or dinner with you once iin a while? That would be a good social outing. And you should be having a baby shower later on, and your friends will show up, and you'll know that it's not YOU that's turning them away, it's just that you're not fitting in with their "all about me" escapades that don't really go hand in hand with preggo friends. Don't get me wrong, life doesn't go kaput after baby, you'll get back into the swing again socially, it'll just be different. You'll make new friends with others that have kids, too. You'll be ok. Hang in there.

 

Heidi - May 12

You may find and make new friends at parenting cla__ses. Check it out. I've learned that the older you get, the more you lose your friends from the old days. I rarely see any of them anymore. It used to discourage me but I enjoy spending time with family and my boyfriend and doing things myself sometimes. I'm 30 and all my friends have kids already so I don't get put aside that way but I do remember myself doing it to my friends when they started having kids right out of high school. Just hang in there. You'll meet new people soon enough!

 

CeliaW - May 12

Oh my gosh. I had a cry fest last night because I feel so lonley. I mean, i adore my husband, but it's not the same as a female to talk to you know? My sister is my best bud and shes in another state so it's hard. I'm a newleywed and 17 weeks pregnant and I am SOOO lonley! ... my yahoo messenger i.d. is krazic04 incase anyone wants to add me!

 

Julie - May 12

I am sooo lonely I have been lonely since I had my son 3 years ago. I was a career woman and now stay at home mom. I live in a new town so I know noone. I have joined put my son in activities in hopes to meet other moms but have had no luck. Most of my friends either live far away or have full time jobs so they don't have time. It really stinks because all my husband does is work. Now #2 is on the way.

 

Dana - June 3

It's good to know that others are feeling the same way. I'm sitting here alone on a Friday night at 9:00pm missing my life. I'm excited about becoming a Mom but feel left out of everything. I went from socializing on a regular basis with a large group of friends to spending my evenings sitting at home. It's not that my friends don't want me around it's just hard for me to be around the whole scene, it's not the same. My husband is a wonderful man but doesn't understand how hard it is watching him live the same life, no changes, while mine is turned completely upside down.

 

Jackie - June 4

I know exactly how you feel, all my friends are at the same stage-drinking and going to bars every night. My boyfriend works overnight, and all my girlfriends always tell me we will have a night where we just stay in and watch a movie which hasn't happened yet. I get really lonely sometimes and it sucks but at least once they have kids then I will have someone to hang out with.

 

m - June 4

I know how you feel. I was there once too. I'm older now, but my first, I had her when i was 25. I felt like I lost my social life. And actually, I pretty much did. But I didn't miss the bars anymore after my daughter was born. And it wasn't long after that the group I hung out with dispersed, and the scene cooled off, they all went separate ways, "got a life" and that was pretty much it. The bar scene is a phase until real life hits home. BF, marriage, babies, in any order. Your friends are still your friends, but people's lives change as time goes on. Everyone's does. Don't feel bad, hun, cuz you're in for a real treat. Your new life with baby will be better than the one you have now. Children really make us grow up and take on a new responsibility that makes life truly worth living. Best wishes to you and everyone in Katie's shoes.

 

Ca__sie - June 6

Katie and all, so many are in the same boat. I know I started feeling lonely when I got married. I got married at 20 and most of my close friends still aren't married at 24. I'm having my first now and know that the rift between us will only grow larger, but I also know that that's just how life is. We all change, and at different times. Take comfort in the gals here and know that your life with your new little family will be just wonderful.

 

Lissi - June 6

I've been very lonely lately. None of my friends live close by, they are a train ride away and when they meet up, they like to go to bars. I was going along to to these drinks, but last time it was a real chore. The bar was too crowded and smoky. There's never anywhere to sit. Plus, the fact that I can't drink and have nothing to talk about except babies at the moment made me feel like an outsider. None of them have kids and have no itention of ever having any. I'm self-employed and my last job just finished. People seem less inclined to offer me work, knowing I'll be out of action for a while. I'm getting really clingy and tearful when my hubby leaves for work in the morning. Can't wait for the baby to arrive do I have something to occupy myself with.

 

Mickey - June 22

Ohh yeah. I am getting realy lonely as well. I moved far away to be w/ my finace almost two years ago and the only frinds I made were drinkin friends and not the close kind of friends either. And what's worse is my finace works till 1 am so I am alone outside of work almost every day. The 4th of July is coming up and I am going to spend the whole weekend alone cause I'm tooo pregnant to fly anymore :(

 

Alaina - June 23

I think this happens to most of us.Our whole life changes so fast and tho it's sad it also opens us up to meet new people and find out what frienships mean.Where is everyone located?

 

Mickey - June 23

Philly, PA Yahoo ID: mickeyp23

 

janine - June 23

hey everyone....i just hit 23 weeks, and my hormones just caved in. I am a high risk pregnancy and so i have been on bed rest, unable to do so many things, everytime i go to the doctor i get some new kind of news, usually bad news. Everyone tells me to stay positive and i feel lucky i could get pregnant and that i cant get upset cuz it will hurt the baby. Truth be told, my baby has a high chance of downs or mental retardation because of some blood disorder they just found. Noone understands me being upset, or even lets me be upset. I cry when something small happens, but its because i have so much bottled up. I feel very lonely, I feel like noone is supporting me or understanding that I need to release these feelings before I go nuts!

 

Alaina - June 23

I am so sorry to hear how your feeling.I too am high risk( I've had miscarrages) Of course your upset , any person/mother with a heart would be.If you ever need to unbottel some stress or just talk about the weather email [email protected] (I'd give you my number but it would probly cost to call.I also recomend writing or keeping a jornal somtimes it help to write a letter to yourself to get out all the stress/emotions your feeling take care.And sorry again.

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?  
Start A New Discussion