Baby Shower-pg119309323126

12 Replies
Brandi-Lynn - October 22

I was just curious as to when you other ladies were planning to have your baby showers. Before or After the baby is born??? I was asked by my auntie and girlfriend (who are throwing me the shower) which i prefered and i said before. Well now there seems to be this big controversy between guests that they are uncomfortable attending a shower before the baby comes incase "something happens". To me that is a slap in the face that other people think my baby could be still born, i mean i know it happens but to think that is the reason why they are uncomfortable attending my shower when it should be a happy time. So now im torn on what to do and if i should wait and have it afterwards so that people will see that my baby is beautiful and healthy. It just really bothers me that people would think negatively like that. Anyone else having to deal with this???

 

cayingo - October 22

That's a new for me; I've never heard of such a thing. I agree, that does seem very morbid and insensitive. When I was pg w/ my DD the biggest dilema I faced was dividing up the guests between showers so they weren't invited to two. No one ever suggested we wait u ntil after she was born. That being said, I have heard of people having a "sip and see" for after the baby is born (where you "sip tea and see the new baby"). To my understnading those are usually reserved for moms of subsequent children. But even now days having a shower for a mom's 2nd or 3rd baby isn't out of the question, especially if she's had a big gap between babies. If it was me, I would explain that waiting for the pirpose of making sure the baby is born ok bothers you. Yo'd like to have the shower to lead up to the excitment of your baby's birth, not as an "only if s/he is healthy". I ean, God forbid, but what if your baby was to born w/ some sort of problem or difficulty? Would s/he and you NOT deserve a baby shower? Certainly not! That baby would be loved and wanted just as much as the moment before you knew of any problems. (Please know I am not trying to be mean, just making a point). Good luck helping them see the way. :)

 

cfuller - October 22

oh my gosh, i've never even heard of that before. That's just weird and very unsupportive. For me, I am having two baby showers... one before she is born and the second a month or so afterwards. I'm doing it that way because there are so many people that want to come and there isn't enough room for everyone at once lol. So my first shower is for my friends and the second one is for my family. I think it's totally appropriate to have a baby shower before your baby is born. Good luck and do whatever YOU want. This is about you and not about anyone else.

 

Astra - October 23

Hi Brandi-Lynn. I am Jewish and was born in Israel. Traditionally (especially in Israel) you don't buy things for the baby until the birth and then friends and family bring gifts afterwards. I'm not sure exactly how things are done here but I know that I have another friend who is Jewish and we are hosting her shower after the birth, and my friends will do the same for me. For me it's a cultural thing so I don't have a problem with it. I don't really know of other cultures who do the same so I'm curious as to why your family and freinds feel this way since it seems like the norm in the US is to have the shower before the birth. If you and your family don't have such cultural constraints it seems so much more convenient to do it before, however I'm generally a peacemaker by nature so I try to go with the flow, If I were in your shoes I would try to find out what is behind their concerns and decide if it's worth making an issue over. Good luck.

 

sahm2alaj - October 23

My gosh what kind of people have such a morbid thought on what's supposed to be a joyous celebration? I have heard of people waiting until after the baby is born, but because they want the baby present during the celebration. Not because 'what if'... i would be devestated! I am having my baby shower in about 3 weeks. I will be 30 weeks pregnant by then and am super excited about having all my friends and family celebrate the life that is to be born in a few weeks!

 

sterlinberlin05 - October 23

I 've never really heard of having one afterwards, that doesn't mean it doesn't I guess. Honestly if it were me I'd want to be prepared, regardless of what anyone else wanted to do. If the majority of showers you've attended are before the birth then I say screw those other people. If they don't feel comfortable then they can visit afterwards. good luck though

 

sterlinberlin05 - October 23

Oh and with my first pregnancy I was about 32 weeks I think. But I think anytime during the third trimester is appropriate.

 

montie75 - October 23

I am having twins, my due date is not until march although the doc says the babies will be here in Feb. My family is giving my shower in November!! They said too much goes on in Dec due to the holidays and what happens if I am on bedrest in January.....................I don't think it matters when you have it. It really is up to you!!!

 

anisha - October 24

They are rediculous! Who are they to say a thing like that. Don't they realize that even thinking something like that could be depressing to you. In my opinion. If anything does happen its their fault, thats providing you dont take it on. I plan to have my shower in December when school is out for most of my friends (they are still in college). I am due in Feb. Although they said whenever I decided it was ok with them. I agree that it IS all about you. Having it before with the support of those close to you seems to be healthy psychologically to me. They are just so negative. Astra is right, try to find out from everyone why they think that way and have them know that it hurts you. Let them know this is what you want and that they should be supportive 100%, cuz thats what you need from them to be happy.

 

sahm2alaj - October 24

Im due in January and having the baby shower 2nd week of Novemeber to avoid the holiday madness. I had posted before and I still feel you should do what u feel is right in your heart. This is a celebration and thoughts of 'what if's' should be the last thing on anyones mind. I would be so hurt if someone said that to me :( Good luck hun!

 

diem - October 24

Your shower, your choice. I am personally chosing to have mine before baby is born so that I can have all of the items I need. Also, I don't know that I'd be up for a party right after birth. I'd like to spend that time with my family and not have to worry about anything. Again, I believe it is YOUR choice, not the choice of your guests.

 

Mel Page - October 24

Brandi - I agree with the rest of the girls, It's SOO your choice, dont let anybody put a damper on your joyous time!!!! They dont need to come if they feel that way, there are plenty of other people who love and adore you who'll be there enjoying and celebrating with you!!! I'm having mine when I'm 28 weeks along, sent my invites out today!!! You just enjoy you and your bubs day no matter what other people say!!!!!! Good luck babe

 

Brandi-Lynn - October 24

Thank you for all your responses everyone! i feel much better now after reading them all. i was starting to wonder if i was in the wrong of wanting to have one before but now i know im not and i think i will keep it the way i originally wanted and have it BEFORE the baby comes.

 

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