Call Family During L Amp D Or Not

22 Replies
Tess - November 1

Its your choice......but as for me I would love to share the good news to my family and friends that the baby is doing fine. I think staying away from your family during L&D is a lil selfish but again its your choice.....so do what its feels good for you.

 

Jennifer - November 1

Your birth experience should be how you want it... if you don't want your family hovering, let them know ahead of time what you want, and that you or hubby will call them to let them know that the baby is fine and healthy. You should let your hubby know that it is important to you that you have a nice quiet delivery, and explain your reasons. Yes, it is all about your comfort. Your husband isn't the one popping out the baby, so to me, I don't think he gets to make that kind of decision. My boyfriend knows exactly what I expect during birth, and even though he doesn't agree with everything, he knows that I will hit the roof if he tries to interfere with the birth, such as calling people I don't want to be there or whatever. My suggestion would be nice and polite, but BE FIRM! You don't want to be all tense knowing that people are out in the waiting room waiting for you to have your baby, just so that they can all barge in and see the baby while you're trying to get in some bonding with baby!

 

Ashley - November 2

Is there any chance that someone in either family might understand? I just KNEW my mom would want to be there holding my hand and she was perfectly ok with getting a phone call afterwards. Everybody is different and sometimes it's a different relationship between daughter/mom. I call my mom every day and love her to pieces, but I want to do this on my own. One of my younger brothers is being very onery - he swears he will be sitting in his car waiting during l&d and I'm like, good luck finding out when it's happening! Good luck talking to hubby and let him know that it's a BIG added stress to know people are waiting around. I feel for you, I'm the same way! :)

 

first baby - November 2

Well, I talked to hubby and he was more understanding this time. He actually didn't care if his family was there or not. His main argument was that his mother was going to insist on coming to wait at the hospital no matter what I said. After talking, we decided that I would talk to the family and make very clear to all of them what my wishes are. We are going to call them when I go into labor and update them about halfway through if it's taking a long time. But they are not to come over to the hospital and wait, since this makes me uncomfortable and stressed. We will call them after the baby arrives to let them know that everything is ok, but we will have a specific time that they can come over to the hospital to see us. I want a few hours to recover and bond with my hubby and baby. If family has any problems with this, then we will simply not call them until after the baby is born and we've had time alone. I don't feel that keeping family away during the L&D is selfish, but actually better for you if it makes things more comfortable. The more stress and anxiety you have during L&D, the harder it's going to be. I think it would be selfish if the family didn't respect the parents wishes. This is really the parent's moment and that right should not be taken away from them. I understand the family's excitement and eagerness to see the baby, but I think in all the excitement some family tends to forget what it's like to be in the parents(especially the mother's) shoes. I wouldn't want to feel resentment towards any family for taking away special moments from me and hubby of the baby right after it's born, But I think it's lovely if you wish to share that time with family and have them waiting or at your bedside. Everyone feels differently about these things. Thanks, for all your input and encouraging me to stick with what I feel comfortable with. It's definately helped! Thanks!

 

jc - November 4

yes, your comfort should be of the utmost priority, but don't lose sight of the fact that this is your husbands baby too. you should consider his wishes as well. you have every right to not let anyone into the room until you are ready, but if he wants to let his family sit in the waiting room....let them wait.

 

first baby - November 4

I understand where your coming from, but I think that a husbands priority should be making his wife as comfortable as possible during this difficult, painful ,stressful time. Lets face it, childbirth isn't any fun! But only the mother really knows and experiences all of it. And anything to help make it a little easier is good. I certainly take my husbands feeling into consideration! But if he were the one in hours of L&D trying pop a baby out, then he could call the shots according to what makes him most comfortable. And as I said, his argument was that his mother was going to insist on coming to the hospital no matter what. He could really care less if they were there for L&D. My family won't be allowed to come either. So it's not like it's something personal against his family. These are my wishes and expect people to respect them. I feel that a mother's comfort should come first, period.

 

jc - November 4

a mother's comfort definately should come first. Please allow me to impart just two things I learned from giving birth to my first child. (1) even though your husband isn't the one delivering the baby, it really puts them through an amazing amount of stress to see someone he love so much in pain and there's nothing he can do about it. it makes men feel weak and helpless. maybe him wanting his family there is kind of a "support thing" for him. ya know? (2) with my first child I was so adament about wanting things just so so. only these people allowed into the delivery room, so on and so forth. I felt so strongly that it brought me to tears several times, if I thought something would work out to the contrary. When the big day came....I was so caught up in the moment of delivering my son, I honestly couldn't tell you if half the things I was so emotional about took place or not! :-) Bottom line is, if it's upsetting to you, let your husband know this. I'm sure having a healthy baby matters more to him than anything and if your wishes are strong enough about this. he'll warm up to them. congratulations and good luck with your delivery! don't let the stress of the small things subtract from that glorious moment! :-)

 

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