Confused As To Whether Or Not We Should Find Out The Gender

16 Replies
Jen - November 1

I feel like everyone has an opinion as to whether or not my husband and I should find out the gender of our baby, but as for my own opinion, I'm very confused! I don't want to base my decision on what our family and friends say, but I can't decifer my own thoughts within all the conversations. Does anyone have any advice?


Lisa - November 1

We just found out yesterday that we are having a girl, and I'm really glad we found out. Now when I go to baby stores to look around, I can focus on all the cute little girl things. Before, it wasn't as exciting. ALso now I think of the baby as a her instead of saying the baby all the time. Plus you can get cuter gender specific things for your baby shower. It's funny because my intuition told me I was having a boy, and I even had a few dreams about it being a boy, and SURPRISE! It's a girl! I love knowing, so I would recommend finding out!


misty - November 1

do what you and your husband feels is right. My husband and I were going to wait until the birth to find out, but as soon as we entered the u/s room my husband yelled out I really want to know, and know what the gender was the first thing he saw but didnt tell me. So it all depends on the moment and you and your husband. I hope this kinda helps, and good luck with making your decission. Oh and if one of you are good at keeping secrets then you can also find out that way and give it to the other as a gift os surprise!


Beth - November 1

I always wanted to know the gender I thought that I would die of anticipation if I couldn't know, I didn't even buy anything waiting until after the u/s so i could buy color coordinated things. Me and dh really want a boy, and we both think we're having a boy so we refer to our baby as he (it'll be interesting if it turns out to be a girl) But we went to the u/s and the baby had the umbilical cord between his legs so we don't know if we're having a boy or girl. I don't get another u/s unless there are complications, which sucks because the u/s was so amazing and I would love to be able to see my baby again, in my country you can't even pay to get another one done. Honestly, I'm not upset that I don't know, we're going with an aquarium/under-the-sea theme for the nursery and I've bought lots of clothes, although I'm trying to stick to buying stuff only for the first three months so that I can buy gender-specific styles after that and I'm not having the shower until after the baby is born so I don't have to worry about that. I'm happy that I didn't get to find out, if I do get another u/s I don't know if I'll have the courage to say no don't tell me what it is...but if I don't get to find out then I'm happy with that. I'm so excited to be in the delivery room and have my dh tell me it's a...and as far as everyone having an opinion, the best advice I can give you is that EVERYONE, from strangers on the street to your parents are going to have an opinion on absolutely everything that has to do with your pregnancy...wether you choose to find out the s_x, wether you get an epidural, all you can do is smile and say "I'll consider that thnkyou" but really it's your and your dh's choice on what happens and that's really the only opinions that matter! Good luck and let us know what you decide.


Jennifer - November 1

Basically you just have to ask yourself if it will make a difference in how you feel if you know the gender. Personally I don't want to know if it's a boy or girl, but my boyfriend really wants to find out, so we will. Bottom line... if you don't want to know, you don't have to find out. Forget what the people around you say, figure out what YOU want. You're the one having the baby... if you want it to be a surprise, that is your decision and your husbands, nobody elses, and the people pressuring you to find out should all b___t out and let you make your own decision.


Krista - November 1

My dh and I are VERY curious people. We found out we were having a girl the first time. This time we couldn't wait to get to our u/s to find out boy or girl. We wanted to know SOOOO bad. Well, today was our u/s and guess what, the little squirt wouldn't uncross its legs. So we are going to have to wait whether we want to or not. I was alittle upset but then the realization that the only important thing is that everything is healthy! Good luck!


Charlene - November 1

Jen, I was very torn about wanting to know and to not know. In the end I decided that I did not want to know and that the surprise would be well worth the wait.... a bonus to all that pain from labor. It is a tough decision, but I said that no matter what it was, I can't change the outcome anyway. It will be just like Christmas, but even better. Good luck in making your decision.


Jen - November 1

Thank you everyone for responding. You have all been helpful. I'm still confused (of course) but I definitely feel like I'm beginning to narrow down on why I want to know the gender. Tomorrow is the day we can find out!


Tess - November 1

Jen, Congratulations!! For me, I would like to find out our baby's gender too. I dont think I can wait til I deliver to find out the gender eventhough it would be a suprised and all....can't wait!!


Beth 2 - November 1

Hi Jen. Well we decided to find out what we were having. Actually it wasn't something we debated. We were so excited to find out. I am just too much of a planner and I wanted to be able to tell everyone about my boy. Also I wanted to start calling him by his name and getting boy stuff. I went to a shower last weekend where they are not finding out the gender and every gift was kinda boring. No OOHING and AAHING like at most showers. BUT if you want to wait then that is great too. There are very few WONDERFUL suprises left in life. OR you could have the tech write it on a piece of paper and then open it at a special moment for you and your hubby or not at all if you can stand it. Hey let us know what you decide ;-)


Ashley - November 2

If some family was like, you should find out, and some weren't, that would make it tough! As it is, it seems like everybody wants us to, which kind of brings out my stubborn side, lol! Also, at the baby shower, I don't want alot of clothes, things are kinda tight as it is and we're hoping we get some more practical items, like a diaper genie! ;)


Reni - November 2

Hi Jen, I too debated about whether I wanted to know the gender or not. Well, I just came from my Level II ultrasound and I decided to find out, thinking it would help me bond with the baby better. Curiosity killed the cat, and it's nearly killing me! I wish I would have kept my mouth shut. I am soooooooo disappointed I cried all the way home. The baby is perfect in every way that they can tell, so this of course makes me feel guilty for even caring what the s_x is. I so hope they are wrong - it doesn't seem like they looked very hard or spent much time "down there" at all. Oh well. If I would have waited until birth, I don't think I would have been nearly so disappointed. At least I would have the baby to hold in my arms, rather than some ridiculous, unclear u/s picture that I can't tell what end is up! Good luck to you, and let us know what you decide. I hope you will be happy either way. By the way, this is my second child and I already have one of what they said it is!


Pete - November 3

I have the answer for you!! If you really want to know the gender and you are confused by all the opinions, go with your husband, find out the gender of the baby and dont say anything to your family!!! keep the info for you and your hubby, that way you'll have no problems, that is what i am going to do!! What do you think Jen??


Jen - November 3

Thanks again for all your responses. We had the ultrasound, and the technician finished up without even mentioning the gender!!! I was forced to ask! Of course, by being forced to ask, I knew that in my heart, I wanted to know. I'm very happy that we found out.


come on - November 3

sooooo what are you having?????


Sam - November 3

Yes, what are you having??? Our biggest decision was not about finding out -- we knew we wanted to -- but how and if we should tell people. We decided to, but I also have concerns about getting all pink outfits at my showers, since I need so many basics. Hopefully, they'll include gift receipts!! I love knowing what we're hvaing, but it's a very personal decision. You've gotta go with what your gut tells you. And either way, I'm pretty sure you'll like the outcome!


Jen - November 3

So far, we've only told our immediate family, but I know I won't be able to keep it a secret for long. We're having a girl! I too am afraid of getting all-things-pink. I'm not opposed to the color, but some variety (and even non-feminine) colors in her wardrobe would be nice. We'll see how long the secret lasts.



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